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You are here: MacNN Forums > Community > MacNN Lounge > The Scourge of Office Popcorn

View Poll Results: Do your coworkers burn popcorn?
Poll Options:
My coworkers are capable of burning water 3 votes (8.11%)
My coworkers burn popcorn most of the time 2 votes (5.41%)
My coworkers burn popcorn some of the time 8 votes (21.62%)
My coworkers rarely or never burn popcorn 7 votes (18.92%)
My coworkers rarely or never make popcorn 14 votes (37.84%)
I'm the asshole who burns the popcorn 0 votes (0%)
Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. 3 votes (8.11%)
Voters: 37. You may not vote on this poll
The Scourge of Office Popcorn
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Dakar V
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Sep 16, 2008, 03:37 PM
 
Seriously, I have no idea if its the dum-dums I currently work with or what, but no one in this office seems capable of making popcorn without burning the hell out of it. Aside from the fact that the mere smell of microwave popcorn permeates half the building for the afternoon it's made, it's worse when all I smell is charred kernel.

I could probably excuse this if it happened infrequently, or was time consuming, but baby-sitting a microwave for 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 minutes doesn't seem like a whole hell of a lot to ask.

Alright, just answer the damn poll.
     
osiris
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Sep 16, 2008, 03:46 PM
 
I went with the first option (...capable of burning water)

Burnt popcorn is one of foulest stenches to ever sap and impurify my precious bodily fluids.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
sek929
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Sep 16, 2008, 03:49 PM
 
Burnt popcorn is an awful smell, but not many bags of popcorn get made on construction sites.

I voted tedious.
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 16, 2008, 03:51 PM
 
Sounds like option 5, jerkwad.
     
osiris
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Sep 16, 2008, 03:56 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Sounds like option 5, jerkwad.
The options aren't numbered, phlegm tool.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 16, 2008, 03:57 PM
 
Sorry, I forgot you can't count.

But you can count on me waiting for you in the parking lot.
     
sek929
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Sep 16, 2008, 03:58 PM
 
There's a parking lot? I keep parking at the church!
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:00 PM
 
Well, it's not our parking lot. I keep parking in Demonhood's space in the admin lot.
     
Oisín
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:03 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Well, it's not our parking lot. I keep parking in Demonhood's space in the admin lot.
So you’re why he had to move!

The idea of making popcorn at work is oddly absurd to me. We often have candy and/or cake/cookies/biscuits, but never popcorn. We’d have to go all the way down to the canteen to find a microwave, anyway. So option number six for me (keeping in mind that there is no number f#%@).

(Also, slightly, though not entirely, off topic: I made microwave popcorns the day before yesterday, for the very first time in my life. I didn’t burn them. But I don’t really like popcorn, so I didn’t eat any of them, either.)
     
Laminar
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:06 PM
 
In b4 public poll
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by Oisín View Post
(Also, slightly, though not entirely, off topic: I made microwave popcorns the day before yesterday, for the very first time in my life. I didn’t burn them. But I don’t really like popcorn, so I didn’t eat any of them, either.)
Honestly, I'd rather take an underpopped but not burned bad than a full but slightly burned one.

You'd have to be a pig to finish an entire bag yourself in one sitting anyway.
     
Laminar
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:21 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Honestly, I'd rather take an underpopped but not burned bad than a full but slightly burned one.

You'd have to be a pig to finish an entire bag yourself in one sitting anyway.
Oink.
     
osiris
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:22 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Sorry, I forgot you can't count.
Yes. Please be more considerate in the future.

Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
But you can count on me waiting for you in the parking lot.
Great, I love valet parking.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:31 PM
 
Originally Posted by osiris View Post
Great, I love valet parking.
Yeah, I'll be your valet.

Your pain valet.
This conversation suddenly needs wrestling announcers.
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 16, 2008, 04:44 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Oink.
Careful, you're liable to get hit on.
     
Oisín
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Sep 16, 2008, 05:56 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Honestly, I'd rather take an underpopped but not burned bad than a full but slightly burned one.

You'd have to be a pig to finish an entire bag yourself in one sitting anyway.
Clarification: I made popcorn* for the eight friends I was with. They ate the popcorn, I had crisps instead.






* Besson is messing with my mind. I keep typing ‘poopcorn’ on first tries all the time. Stop it!
     
Laminar
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Sep 16, 2008, 07:05 PM
 
What the eff are "crisps?"
I know, I know.
     
Chongo
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Sep 16, 2008, 07:31 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
What the eff are "crisps?"
I know, I know.
Potato(e) chips

There are a couple of women who intentionally let it burn, slightly. They said that is the way they like it.
45/47
     
Chuckit
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Sep 16, 2008, 07:51 PM
 
Microwave popcorn can be really fickle. Like, I never have trouble with it at home, but here at the office, I've given up on it because it will burn before most of the popcorn has even popped.
Chuck
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besson3c
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Sep 16, 2008, 08:31 PM
 
Hehe... poopcorn!

This thread is corny!
     
andi*pandi
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Sep 16, 2008, 08:34 PM
 
our microwave at work has a remarkably useful "popcorn" button. Whoever programmed it ought to be resting easy because I've never burned popcorn using it.

My microwave at home sucks and needs to be watched like a hawk.
     
besson3c
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Sep 16, 2008, 08:36 PM
 
How come hawks need watching? They don't do anything exciting and are generally pretty boring to look at.
     
besson3c
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Sep 16, 2008, 08:37 PM
 
Speaking of hawk, I miss Butthawk... Has anybody talked to him lately?
     
boy8cookie
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Sep 16, 2008, 08:38 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
You'd have to be a pig to finish an entire bag yourself in one sitting anyway.
What if I wear lipstick while I gorge an entire bag?
hockey mom
     
Chuckit
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Sep 16, 2008, 08:45 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Honestly, I'd rather take an underpopped but not burned bad than a full but slightly burned one.

You'd have to be a pig to finish an entire bag yourself in one sitting anyway.
Do you buy like enormous bags of microwave popcorn or something? The ones I get usually don't have very much at all — much less than I make at home on my stove when I watch a movie.
Chuck
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zro
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Sep 16, 2008, 09:18 PM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
How come hawks need watching? They don't do anything exciting and are generally pretty boring to look at.
You've obviously never seen one snatch a pigeon (or other critter) from your yard. They come out of no where like a feathered death missle. Amazing, and somewhat frightening, creatures.

I can't help but wonder what's really bugging Dakar. I'm feeling a lot of hostility in here. Perhaps a group hug is in order?

Circle jerk?
( Last edited by zro; Sep 16, 2008 at 09:57 PM. Reason: Ha-ha! Pidgeon...)
     
Mastrap
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Sep 16, 2008, 09:58 PM
 
Why on earth would anybody make popcorn in a ****ing microwave? A sturdy pot, a trusty gas stove and all is well on the popcorn front. I make it a couple of times a week, dress it with just a splash of maple syrup. Delicious.
     
Laminar
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Sep 16, 2008, 10:41 PM
 
Well I don't know about you, but my workplace does not have a trusty gas stove and a sturdy pot.
     
Mastrap
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Sep 16, 2008, 10:56 PM
 
Change jobs immediately.
     
brassplayersrock²
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Sep 16, 2008, 11:10 PM
 
At least once a semester there will be someone that judges how long the popcorn needs to be in the microwave instead of pressing the popcorn button. needless to say, the fire alarms go off and we need to evac. annoying.
     
Railroader
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Sep 17, 2008, 12:54 AM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
In b4 public poll
Indeed!!! WTH?

I worked in one office where popcorn was the only thing banned with threat of firing. Before the ban, EVERYDAY someone would char and smoke some popcorn. It was o bad that you could smell it the next day.

Currently, the only co-worker I have is my wife, and I am in charge of the popcorn making. 50% of the time it is microwave, the rest is old fashioned on the stove. The "popcorn" button on my microwave will just barely burn. If I stop it in the last 10 seconds I get perfectly popped popcorn.
     
Oisín
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Sep 17, 2008, 04:56 AM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
What the eff are "crisps?"
I know, I know.
Eng-lish. Do you speak it?

Originally Posted by zro View Post
I can't help but wonder what's really bugging Dakar. I'm feeling a lot of hostility in here. Perhaps a group hug is in order?

Circle jerk?
I’m in.
     
calverson
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Sep 17, 2008, 05:54 AM
 
Originally Posted by Oisín View Post
Eng-lish motherf*cker. Do you speak it?
Fixed.

Originally Posted by Oisín View Post
I’m in.
the middle?
     
calverson
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Sep 17, 2008, 05:56 AM
 
And yes, in my office, cockporn, ugh, popcorn, is an all-time favorite, and it is always made perfectly by some chick in the finance department.
     
Andrew Stephens
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Sep 17, 2008, 08:07 AM
 
does the smell of it send you into a "kernel panic"

boom tish
     
Eug
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Sep 17, 2008, 08:12 AM
 
Buy them a bread maker. Nothing beats the smell of baking bread wafting through the vents.

P.S. The lady at the local candle shop said she gained like 5 lbs after they got chocolate scented candles. After they started lighting those, she'd go out to buy some chocolate every single day.
     
calverson
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Sep 17, 2008, 08:15 AM
 
Originally Posted by Andrew Stephens View Post
does the smell of it send you into a "kernel panic"
Fantastic.
     
osiris
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Sep 17, 2008, 09:11 AM
 
No one ever brings up those easy to use hot air poppers - they were great, but I haven't seen them in years.
Are they illegal now?
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
Laminar
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Sep 17, 2008, 11:08 AM
 
Originally Posted by osiris View Post
No one ever brings up those easy to use hot air poppers - they were great, but I haven't seen them in years.
Are they illegal now?
My dad always uses one - for me, nothing tastes as good as white air-popped popcorn with a little bit of melted butter and salt.
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 17, 2008, 11:13 AM
 
Originally Posted by Chuckit View Post
Do you buy like enormous bags of microwave popcorn or something? The ones I get usually don't have very much at all — much less than I make at home on my stove when I watch a movie.
When I 'gorge' myself I make it about 3/4th through the bag before losing steam. I usually finish it off later.

But I was making fun of women anyway.

Originally Posted by Mastrap View Post
Why on earth would anybody make popcorn in a ****ing microwave?
Laziness. Convenience.

Originally Posted by Railroader View Post
I worked in one office where popcorn was the only thing banned with threat of firing. Before the ban, EVERYDAY someone would char and smoke some popcorn. It was o bad that you could smell it the next day.
You understand my pain! That's awesome that they banned it.
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 17, 2008, 11:15 AM
 
Originally Posted by Oisín View Post
I’m in.
"For some reason, I went to a bukkake porn shoot yesterday. No idea what came over me."

Originally Posted by Andrew Stephens View Post
does the smell of it send you into a "kernel panic"
Heyoooooo

Originally Posted by osiris View Post
No one ever brings up those easy to use hot air poppers - they were great, but I haven't seen them in years.
Are they illegal now?
Good question. Watching the popcorn get made is practically better than eating it. Those were the **** when I was in grade school.
     
Oisín
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Sep 17, 2008, 11:34 AM
 
Originally Posted by calverson View Post
Fixed.
I was being politely insulting.

the middle?
Preferably.

(Wait—the middle? Of a circle? How does that work, exactly?)

Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
"For some reason, I went to a bukkake porn shoot yesterday. No idea what came over me."
"Who", you mean.
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 17, 2008, 11:39 AM
 
Go ahead, ruin the joke.
     
Oisín
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Sep 17, 2008, 11:54 AM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Go ahead, ruin the joke.
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I already had.
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 17, 2008, 11:59 AM
 
     
Jawbone54
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Sep 17, 2008, 12:10 PM
 
My wife burned popcorn in our house 6 weeks ago.

The microwave still smells like it.
     
brassplayersrock²
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Sep 17, 2008, 01:54 PM
 
best natural way to get any smell out of a microwave is to put a couple of tea bags (no you can't watch dakar) in some water in a microwavable bowl and boil it in the microwave. do this for about 5-10 minutes. Because of the steam, everything inside will be nice and loose, so all you have to do is wipe it down with a paper towel. The smell is replaced by whatever fragrance the tea is, and you have a clean microwave.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Sep 17, 2008, 03:50 PM
 
So don't use "burnt popcorn" flavored tea, then.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
osiris
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Sep 17, 2008, 03:50 PM
 
Oh, that's what I've been doing wrong.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
Dakar V  (op)
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Sep 17, 2008, 03:59 PM
 
Originally Posted by osiris View Post
Oh, that's what I've been doing wrong.
You've been doing a whole lot more than that wrong, so I hear.
     
 
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