[besson3c]

My wife got me this really interesting book which I've been reading. One good point that it made was that when you think about it, toilet paper is not terribly sanitary. Basically, wiping yourself all you are doing is smearing and spreading around fecal matter. What would be more sanitary would be a little wash basin for your butt, sort of like a little bathtub.

Do any of you use a little butt basin in your homes, or know anybody that does? Do you agree that this would be superior in terms of hygiene? This sounds like a great business idea!

[sek929]

Wet Wipes FTW.

[ort888]

I solve this problem by inserting a 4" long by 3/4" inch wide plastic tube into my anus. The feces passes through the tube without soiling my anal area. No wiping needed. I just throw the tubes into the dishwasher at the end of the week. It actually ends up saving you a lot of money because toilet paper is pretty expensive.

The trick is training yourself to grasp the tube with your sphincter while pushing. It takes a couple of weeks to get it down, but it's great once you figure it out.

[iChris]

How is this different from a bidet?

[sek929]

True Story.

We renovated 5 bathrooms in a house this past summer. One bathroom had a Bidet put in. Right after it was installed I turned it on out of curiosity and it sprayed me right in the face.

[analogika]

Originally Posted by iChris 

How is this different from a bidet?

It's not.

Just put the moronon ignoreon and geton with your life.

[iChris]

Okay, both of you guys just brought on the laughs. sek929... did you have any idea what you were fiddling with? That's like something out of a sitcom.

[sek929]

I knew what a Bidet was, but there was still air in the lines or something and it had WAY to much pressure.

I'd imagine if I actually tried to use it I would've gotten a cheap enema.

[Dakar V]

Originally Posted by ort888 

I solve this problem by inserting a 4" long by 3/4" inch wide plastic tube into my anus. The feces passes through the tube without soiling my anal area. No wiping needed. I just throw the tubes into the dishwasher at the end of the week. It actually ends up saving you a lot of money because toilet paper is pretty expensive.

The trick is training yourself to grasp the tube with your sphincter while pushing. It takes a couple of weeks to get it down, but it's great once you figure it out.

Warning: Don't read the quoted post if you often picture things you're reading

In unrelated news: lulz

[sek929]

You're just mad because his anus diameter is so much smaller than yours.

[besson3c]

I haven't read much of this book yet, so I haven't come across bidets, but now I know what they are!

Lighten up analogika, this is just an internet forum.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by ort888 

I solve this problem by inserting a 4" long by 3/4" inch wide plastic tube into my anus. The feces passes through the tube without soiling my anal area. No wiping needed. I just throw the tubes into the dishwasher at the end of the week. It actually ends up saving you a lot of money because toilet paper is pretty expensive.

The trick is training yourself to grasp the tube with your sphincter while pushing. It takes a couple of weeks to get it down, but it's great once you figure it out.

Are you serious? I've never heard of this solution before... Do you take this tube with you wherever you go? Does everybody in your family use their own tubes?

[RAILhead]

Wet the toilet paper during pre-flight.

[besson3c]

wet toilet paper and wet naps are an improvement, but you're still basically just blotting and smearing... I'm most interested in the promise land of a clean anus like I have after I shower, and I want a clean anus wherever I go, and without any expensive robots or assistants.

[::maroma::]

I hate wiping my butt. Takes forever, it stinks, sometimes I end up using a half of a roll of toilet paper, and sometimes it gets on my fingers. Yet when I think about spraying a thin stream of cold water up my pooper after a good sit down session, it makes me cringe. And then I think, how would a little stream of water get all of the poop out of my anus? How long do I have to sit there with that stream of icy cold water shooting where I generally don't want things to be shot? Do I have to move around in order to clean the entirety of my poop shoot? (I know what you're all thinking, "how messy are your poops??" And I would answer, "usually not very" but from time to time I would have to answer "very".)

So this whole bidet thing troubles me. So many unanswered questions.

But a question that someone here may be able to answer for me, what cultures other than ours use toilet paper?

[besson3c]

I think it might be better to ask which countries *don't* use toilet paper?

[Dakar V]

Originally Posted by sek929 

You're just mad because his anus diameter is so much smaller than yours.

http://www.jibjab.com/view/194533
(The payoff is at the very end)

[residentEvil]

i use quarters.

and, wtf? i thought we were done with this crap (pun intended). reported.

[Laminar]

Nope, there are still people that enable this.

[residentEvil]

and i will just keep reporting.

[::maroma::]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I think it might be better to ask which countries *don't* use toilet paper?

True. So allow me to revise my question:

What countries don't use toilet paper as a means of clearing out the chocolate dragon residue?

[residentEvil]

OP = http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...erm=ass+bandit

or a little M.O.D

AIDS lyrics:

You're accused of the following charges
You're a woman trapped inside a man
Your sexuality no one denies you
But your preference we can't understand
You are the lonliness of all people

It's time for you to realize
AIDS like the plague is from God
For he sees something wrong in his eyes

Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.
Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.
Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.
Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.

That's what you get for having
A penis up your ass
You should have used a condom
That's what you get when you
Swallow another man's load
A lubricated condom

How do you find love in another man's hairy ass
You should have used a condom
Millions of lost hamsters
Running ramped in your bowels
Take the Hershey Highway

Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
A manly man
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men

time to hit itunes or limewire and download. what a great song!

[turtle777]

Besson, your fetish with poop is seriously irritating.

I mean, WTF ?

You have probably started well beyond a dozen of threads just on sh!t ? What's wrong with you ?

Ok, done.

-t

[xi_hyperon]

*sigh*

[::maroma::]

Originally Posted by turtle777 

Besson, your fetish with poop is seriously irritating.

I mean, WTF ?

You have probably started well beyond a dozen of threads just on sh!t ? What's wrong with you ?

Ok, done.

-t

But poop is so universal. It should be bringing us together, not tearing us apart!

Can't we all just get along? (and share poop stories?)

[RAILhead]

Poop is the duct tape of the human excretive experience

[besson3c]

We all poop guys

[brassplayersrock²]

Originally Posted by residentEvil 

i use quarters.

and, wtf? i thought we were done with this crap (pun intended). reported.

There was a church with nuns and monks living in it but they were not allowed to go near each other or speak to each other.

One day 4 monks went to have a shower and after they had stripped off they found there was no soap so one brave monk said that he would go and take some from the nuns quarters.

Off he went naked as the day he was born to get the soap. He quickly found some soap but on the way back he heard some nuns coming back so he decided to act as a new statue and stood frozen

The nuns came round the corner and instantly noticed the figure standing in the hallway they giggled to each other and approached it.

One nun put a quarter us his ass, grabbed the monks penis, and pulled and the monk droped 2 of his bars of soap the nun exclaimed "Oh, look its a soap dispenser"

Another nun approached the monk and the same happened

The third nun approached the monk put a quarter us his ass and pulled she screamed "It dispenses hand cream aswell"

[RAILhead]

Uhhh.... FAIL?

[ort888]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Are you serious? I've never heard of this solution before... Do you take this tube with you wherever you go? Does everybody in your family use their own tubes?

I have a whole bunch of tubes. I keep them in a plastic tub next to the toilet and wash them at the end of the week. I'm pretty regular so I don't normally take them with me... but when I go on a trip or something I take a small bag.

Lots of people around here do this. I thought it was normal until I went to other parts of the country and people acted like I was nuts for doing it.

[besson3c]

Here is the book I'm referring to:

http://www.amazon.com/Poop-Culture-A...4301835&sr=8-1

[osiris]

Poop is the crap that binds us.

I for one prefer bidets, especially the heated ones.
The hands never need to go near the poop chute. It's especially appreciated on those odd days, when you would normally go through about three cases of Charmin in one sitting.

[Shaddim]

We have a heated bidet, it's neat but I rarely use it. Usually I do my business right before I take my shower, so it's a moot point.

[iM@k]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

We all poop guys

Well unless you're Catholic in which case it's concentrated evil coming out of you </Family Guy>

[Dork.]

I like this book better.

http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops...dp/192913214X/

[ghporter]

"Everybody Poops." It's a children's book. However, it's normal for people to mature past the point where discussing poop and pooping is fascinating. As many of us will agree, guys take a lot longer to get past the idea that gross, messy subjects are fascinating.

On a functional and on-topic subject, I think bidets are a great idea, though I've yet to have a chance to try one. If my wife and I design a theoretical "next home", (as opposed to choosing an existing design, as we did with our current home), we WILL include bidets in the bathrooms. As for "smearing it around" when using tissue, that would mean you're doing it wrong.

[Dork.]

besson3c, didn't you say you were reading a different book yesterday?

http://forums.macnn.com/95/political...acity-of-hope/

At the risk of having this fine topic hurled into the PL, which book is filled with more poop?

[besson3c]

I can read many books at the same time. I'm reading 3 Shakespeares right now too, the ones that George Bush read!

[Doofy]

OK, bidet fans, try this:

Do your business.
Use your bidet.
Wait a few minutes.
Then wipe.

If there's any business on the paper then, let's face it, you're walking around with a dirty backside all day if you think the bidet is sufficient to do the job. And if you can't walk around with a clean backside then where are you? Nowhere, that's where.

[analogika]

[residentEvil]

[Eriamjh]

It's your ass. Of course there is poop there! So what? Wash it when you take a shower! That's why you wash your hands after using the can: because you can't wash your ass in a typical US bathroom!

I heard in India, one wipes ones ass with one's hand and a little water, then washes one's hands afterwards.

Oh yeah. And...

[besson3c]

I never understood that book cover. Do apples poop?

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by analogika 

I thought you were displeased with this thread analogika?

[Chooglin']

Farts are exploding out my ass as you read this!! And I'm not wiping either.

[Chooglin']

Farts are exploding out my ass as you read this!! And I'm not wiping either.

Butt seriously, taking a crap in and of itself is probably unhygenic no matter how you try to clean it up. And walking into someone's crap stench afterwards is always a great conversation piece.

In college, I think there were several people who regularly used the shower bath as a bidet. That's why I wore flip flops.

[besson3c]

Maybe the solution here is the butt tube thing?

[Dork.]

I predict someone will register Butt Tube! before the end of the day today.

[besson3c]

The other interesting point in the book is that the sitting toilet is actually hard on our bodies and makes defecation more difficult than it has to be. The most ideal pooping position is the fetal position, biologically speaking. Somebody needs to invent a toilet that will help support your legs being elevated to assist in pooping.

[Dork.]

Ever see a Japanese toilet?