[♥]

I despise my neighbors. Hate is a strong word, but I officially despise them, or should I say, the man who lives next door ("man" is being generous). We live next door to a raging one-eyed drunk who moves furniture for a living (once in a while - maybe once a year -he might work) and is content to let his wife support him. He parties until 5:00 AM on a routine basis and is purposefully loud and noisy. We're not talking a little obnoxious here, we're talking a LOT obnoxious, loud, rude, and generally an ass night after night. Call the cops to tell him to quiet down and your windows will get busted out of your car or house or your house will end up spray-painted in revenge. We're talking about a bona fide loser who involves his 10-year old daughter in some of his exploits, including yelling profanities out the back door into suburbia at 2:00 AM. What a loser. We tried to be nice to him on purpose (very hard to do, folks) because it's the holiday season and for that we're rewarded with fireworks outside our front door at 1:00 AM with his kids screaming and yelling and laughing about it; in other words, he's teaching his children to be @$$e$ like himself which makes him more despicable.

Can anyone else top our neighbor @$$hole?

[Tyre MacAdmin]

TASER - Home

Happy hunting, erm holidays!!!!

[iMOTOR]

Ah, tasers are for pussies.

I would sit on your porch and polish one of these if I were you:

[♥]

Do you know, I despise the @$$ over there so much that I actually hit that link and seriously considered ways to taser his @$$?

[♥]

Let me spell out evil for you in three words:

ZERO. LOT. LINES.

Yep, I live in a beautiful home with zero lot lines. No one in the front and no one in the back, but an @$$hole neighbor that I share a zero lot line with and his house is 10 feet away.

If you're reading this and you EVER consider buying a home with zero lot lines, do not walk but RUN away from the realtor (or the house) as fast as you can.

TRUST ME ON THIS...IF ONLY ON THIS ONE THING.

If I could get out of this house I would. The market is so bad that I'm buried here for a while so I'll have to stick it out, but it sure is hell in the meantime.

[Tyre MacAdmin]

Originally Posted by ♥ 

Do you know, I despise the @$$ over there so much that I actually hit that link and seriously considered ways to taser his @$$?

Just make it "accidental".

Well officer it was 2 in the morning and I heard a bunch of noise and accidently fried my neighbor...

For 30 min straight!!!!

Damned if I could find my glasses officer!

[Kerrigan]

Just start drinking.

[♥]

Drinking doesn't work. I'm not a good drunk. For one thing, two beers and I'm out cold - literally. Secondly, I despise drunks. Thirdly, isn't that the weak way to deal with things?

Maybe I should send the guy some bad mezcal and he'll overdose on alcohol.

[Kerrigan]

I'm a college student so I have a somewhat different perspective on things (hence the drinking suggestion!). Nevertheless, I know how bad things can get in suburbia when you have an unruly neighbor.

In the past, when my parents lived in a small, snobby city in Florida, we had no neighbor problems to speak of. But then when they moved to a different city in a different state, which was still upper-middle class but not as well established or "preppy" as our previous city, we had all sorts of bizarre neighbor problems. Frankly it shocked me that people on the same street as us would key cars, throw logs into the lake, sick dogs on people, etc. Very vulgar behaviour.

[imitchellg5]

The people who live in the house behind me are a bit annoying. Actually, that's not true. Their dogs are annoying. They constantly bark, whine, whatever. One will throw himself up against the wooden fence if someone is in our backyard. It's pretty scary, since the fence isn't that sturdy. My dog can settle the situation though: he always walks to where the other dog is and pees on him through the fence. It makes me laugh everytime.

One of the reason's I love to go back to Washington is because I stay on 7 acres there, no neighbors close enough to annoy me.

[osiris]

This is why I mounted 50mm guns on the roof.
Haven't heard a peep from the neighbors - even when I wave 'hello' as they're running to their car.

[Cold Warrior]

If he's going to vandalize your stuff for calling the cops, I say call them. Then videotape him vandalizing your property. Take the video to the cops and follow up until they prosecute him.

[♥]

In the past, when my parents lived in a small, snobby city in Florida, we had no neighbor problems to speak of. But then when they moved to a different city in a different state, which was still upper-middle class but not as well established or "preppy" as our previous city, we had all sorts of bizarre neighbor problems. Frankly it shocked me that people on the same street as us would key cars, throw logs into the lake, sick dogs on people, etc. Very vulgar behaviour.

Your parents live in my neighborhood?

[mindwaves]

I live in a decent neighborhood. A typical neighborhood as you might say. My neighbor across the street is quite finicky about who parks in front of his house, and by the front of his house, I mean on the public curb by his house. I usually park on my side of the curb, but one night I decided to park on his side of the curb just so I can transfer some items over to my house for simplicity's sake. Not 10 mins has passed by (maybe even 5 mins) when I was walking to my house when I hear the guy yelling "PARK ON YOUR OWN SIDE!" to which I just went back inside my house for about an hr just to annoy him. Afterwards, I re-parked on my own side. Someone has to tell that guy that the curb is public property and you nor I do not own it. It is just common courtesy not to park there, but I say that parking there for no more than 10mins is perfectly acceptable.

[irunat2am]

Originally Posted by osiris 

This is why I mounted 50mm guns on the roof.
Haven't heard a peep from the neighbors - even when I wave 'hello' as they're running to their car.

Thanks for the morning giggle.

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by ♥ 

Let me spell out evil for you in three words:

ZERO. LOT. LINES.

Yep, I live in a beautiful home with zero lot lines. No one in the front and no one in the back, but an @$$hole neighbor that I share a zero lot line with and his house is 10 feet away.

If you're reading this and you EVER consider buying a home with zero lot lines, do not walk but RUN away from the realtor (or the house) as fast as you can.

TRUST ME ON THIS...IF ONLY ON THIS ONE THING.

If I could get out of this house I would. The market is so bad that I'm buried here for a while so I'll have to stick it out, but it sure is hell in the meantime.

I've never heard the term zero lot line.

Google took me to an image like this ------>



Is that the arrangement at your place?

[peeb]

Does he rent, or own? If he rents, and you complain enough to the landlord, you might be able to get him kicked out. Enough complaints by the city to the landlord, and they have to kick him out.

[BadKosh]

Dogs.....Lots of DOGS!

[Amorya]

Originally Posted by Tiresias 

I've never heard the term zero lot line.

Google took me to an image like this ------>



Is that the arrangement at your place?

Seems normal for me.

Here's a google image of my house. I've hilighted in red the bits of land I own. (I'm pretty lucky being an end-terrace house. There are three other houses besides mine in the row.

I guess that such an arrangement is less common in the States?



Amorya

[peeb]

In the states I think it's called a duplex or triplex, perhaps a townhouse, but it's not that uncommon.

[IceEnclosure]

I would call the cops, and I would definitely film him. I'd catch him doing something stupid to my car or property. If he's renting that'll definitely get him kicked. Get some cams.

[ghporter]

Do you have a homeowners' association? There are bound to be deed restrictions about this sort of thing. Causing a disturbance is also illegal, and if he vandalizes your home or car because you call the cops, call 'em again and file charges against him. Call the police EVERY TIME he disturbs the peace, and file charges EVERY TIME he commits criminal mischief. That sounds like it won't take long for him to rack up a pretty noticeable record.

My first thought is to SUE HIM for being a menace to your neighborhood-in most states you can file a small claims suit without more than a tiny ($10 in Texas) filing fee, and ask for damages up to the thousands of dollars (up to $5000 in Texas, depending on which court you file in). The best part? If he fails to show up and defend himself, he defaults and AUTOMATICALLY is liable for the requested damages. Every time he acts the ass, sue him for it. After his house is impounded for failing to pay the damages, he might change his mind. Unfortunately this only works on people with brains. Go the criminal charges route, and be persistent.

A note on zero lot lines: I lived in a ZLL neighborhood for about 7 years, and with good neighbors it's tolerable. The way the houses were set up, you had one blank wall that was ON the property line, so you had a front yard, a back yard, and a (singular) side yard that faced a brick wall on your neighbor's house. Not really bad at all. But have one neighbor turn into a jerk, and your blank wall could become his graffiti canvas, basketball backboard, or whatever. I have the same amount of space between houses where I live now, but it's divided by a fence, and all the houses are 5 feet off the property line, so nobody can touch my house without being on my property. I like that better.

[iranfromthezoo]

Do you live in the states? If so where? I talked to a friend of mine at work. (I work at a fire dept and he's a sgt at the police dept) He stated in the great state of Mississippi if anyone comes on your property you have to give a warning and if they come within 5 feet of your house (also includes your car because it is an extension of your house) you are within your rights to fire upon them or fire a warning shot in the air. He said that the police will most likely arrest you if you kill him but all charges will be dropped if you have nothing against you i.e. a convicted felon or shot the perp in the back.

Again I don't want you to shoot him. He said an alternative is to call the police on their direct line. And ask to speak with the watch commander or shift commander. Explain you situation to him and ask him as nicely as possible if he could step up patrols. To earn a good report with the PD or SO thank them everytime they come out, ask for the police officers name and send a letter to the mayor and police chief thanking them for their service and quick response. That will make the cops side with you A LOT! I know it makes us side with people who are more thankful for what we do at 3 am than the ones who complain.

[♥]

The way the houses were set up, you had one blank wall that was ON the property line, so you had a front yard, a back yard, and a (singular) side yard that faced a brick wall on your neighbor's house. Not really bad at all. But have one neighbor turn into a jerk, and your blank wall could become his graffiti canvas, basketball backboard, or whatever.

That's exactly the scenario.

We have 10 feet in between homes and we're not allowed to fence in between homes, unfortunately.

Last night he was such an ass. He says, "Can I have a word with you?" Response: "I have absolutely nothing to say to you now or ever." "Well, f--- you then. Give me 10 seconds with you and you'd be toast." My son was hilarious because he chose at just that moment to push the button on his Tickle Me Elmo doll which then started laughing. The time for reconciliations is over and we have nothing to say to him now or ever.

The idea about suing him is a good one...

Hmmm...

Might just have to do that.

[KeriVit]

Considering the fact that you are a woman- that seems like a threat.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by iMOTOR 

I clicked on this gun and nothing happened....

[♥]

Who says I'm a woman? I'm actually a transvestite-in-training.



Not that it matters.

I'm not a suing kind of person but the lawsuit might be a good thing.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I clicked on this gun and nothing happened....

You need to be looking down the barrel for it to work correctly.

[KeriVit]

Originally Posted by ♥ 

Who says I'm a woman? I'm actually a transvestite-in-training.

It was just an assumption based on some of your comments. But, hey, to each his own.

[♥]

Someone should start an "I hate my neighbors" website.

If you have @$$hole neighbors you might want to forewarn potential buyers in the same neighborhood.

Wait, there is one:

Locate, Rate, and Share Good and Bad Neighbors Before and After You Move

[AngelaBaby]

You can't pick your neighbors. Just call the cops on them. Say they raped your cat or something.

[andi*pandi]

our close neighbors are pretty nice. Help with the shoveling and such (they have snowblowers). The worst of it has been some quasi-friendly "can you remove some branches from your tree that is overhanging my patio dropping sticks" kind of haranging. I saw his point, but even though we were under no obligation to do so, we eventually did. $800. We did it so that he would have no complaints now that it's his turn to fix his stone wall that is crumbling into our yard.

There's some kids down the hill however who graffiti and litter the nearby park. :x

[SpaceMonkey]

I also have awesome neighbors, although tonight was the first time I ever encountered them, as I walked the final block from work to my house:

Voice somewhat far behind me: "Hey man, you still wanna talk to my wife?"
I keep walking.
Voice closer behind me: "Hey, hey man, you still wanna talk to my wife?"
I keep walking.
Taller, muscular dude jogs from behind me and stops in front of me.
Other guy repeats, smiling somewhat: "Yeah, you, you still wanna talk to my wife?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Other guy: "You still wanna talk to my wife?"
Me: "I don't know what you are talking about."
Other guy, pointing behind me: "Turn around, look."
I turn. There is a woman jogging toward us further down the block.
Me: "Huh?"
Other guy, not smiling now: "'Cause I'm about to **** you up."
He grabs my arm and pushes me down the sidewalk.
Woman behind us: "No! That's not him!"
Other guy: "It's not?"
Woman: "No!"
Other guy, releasing me: "Oh, my bad."
They jog across the street and further up the block. The woman repeats "it's not him," again, and the guy turns back at me as they leave and says again, "my bad, my bad!"

It's a classy neighborhood, to say the least.

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

You need to be looking down the barrel for it to work correctly.

Down the barrel, or into it?

[andi*pandi]

tomayto, tomahto

[besson3c]

I think Dakar just wants me to shoot myself... Heheh... I'm not going to be fooled by that Dakar, I've watched enough Bugs Bunny to know what happens when you do that. Nice try, bucko!


Yes Dakar, you are a bucko.

[♥]

Well, I did something crafty: Bribed the security guards with Franklins to make sure that they do some extra patrolling around their house and if they hear noise they're going to "look into it and call the police."



They already made a stop over at their house and told them to turn down their noise level.



We'll see how things progress...

Meanwhile, this thread is entertaining - SpaceMonkey, that was some story!

[Jawbone54]

My next-door neighbor works in his "wood shop" with the door wide open, buzz-sawing and hammering at 6:00 AM on Saturdays, which are the only days my wife and I can actually get some rest.

During the summer he started mowing his lawn at 6 on Saturdays. Our master bedroom windows were about four feet away from his riding lawnmower.

[Laminar]

You should have "lost" a couple crowbars in his tall grass and seen how long he could still mow.

[IceEnclosure]

uhh, it's illegal in probably 60+% of America to do such activities before 8AM and after 7ishPM, right?

It is everywhere I've ever lived. If someone were mowing their lawn at 6AM when i was sleeping... I'd ****ing throw some old meat at their face. Right at it.

[redhawk9]

Originally Posted by ♥ 

I despise my neighbors. Hate is a strong word, but I officially despise them, or should I say, the man who lives next door ("man" is being generous). We live next door to a raging one-eyed drunk who moves furniture for a living (once in a while - maybe once a year -he might work) and is content to let his wife support him. He parties until 5:00 AM on a routine basis and is purposefully loud and noisy. We're not talking a little obnoxious here, we're talking a LOT obnoxious, loud, rude, and generally an ass night after night. Call the cops to tell him to quiet down and your windows will get busted out of your car or house or your house will end up spray-painted in revenge. We're talking about a bona fide loser who involves his 10-year old daughter in some of his exploits, including yelling profanities out the back door into suburbia at 2:00 AM. What a loser. We tried to be nice to him on purpose (very hard to do, folks) because it's the holiday season and for that we're rewarded with fireworks outside our front door at 1:00 AM with his kids screaming and yelling and laughing about it; in other words, he's teaching his children to be @$$e$ like himself which makes him more despicable.

Can anyone else top our neighbor @$$hole?

Since I live in a college town and am surrounded by college kids, I sympathise with you. If the cops won't do their jobs properly, I would suggest contacting the city attorney and filing a "public nusance" complaint against the neighbor and document all of the retaliation that you have received from him; Then I would go to the county clerks office and find out who owns the house and send them a certified letter outlining the problems with the person and MAYBE someone will pull their heads out of their.... and do something (and if all else fails, make an annonymous call to DSS and advise them that the child is in danger and watch how fast they clean up their acts).

[freudling]

House music, 16 hours per day, almost everyday. We live in an apartment.

[Face Ache]

Originally Posted by freudling 

House music, 16 hours per day, almost everyday. We live in an apartment.

Put Achy Breaky Heart on repeat, turn it up, then go out.

[analogika]

Originally Posted by Face Ache 

Put Achy Breaky Heart on repeat, turn it up, then go out.

That clearly violates the terms of the Geneva Convention.

[glideslope]

Originally Posted by mindwaves 

I live in a decent neighborhood. A typical neighborhood as you might say. My neighbor across the street is quite finicky about who parks in front of his house, and by the front of his house, I mean on the public curb by his house. I usually park on my side of the curb, but one night I decided to park on his side of the curb just so I can transfer some items over to my house for simplicity's sake. Not 10 mins has passed by (maybe even 5 mins) when I was walking to my house when I hear the guy yelling "PARK ON YOUR OWN SIDE!" to which I just went back inside my house for about an hr just to annoy him. Afterwards, I re-parked on my own side. Someone has to tell that guy that the curb is public property and you nor I do not own it. It is just common courtesy not to park there, but I say that parking there for no more than 10mins is perfectly acceptable.

Outstanding example of Passive Aggressive. Well done.

[Eriamjh]

Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey 

....
Other guy, not smiling now: "'Cause I'm about to **** you up."
He grabs my arm and pushes me down the sidewalk.
...
It's a classy neighborhood, to say the least.

Sounds like assault, to me.

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by analogika 

That clearly violates the terms of the Geneva Convention.

Be careful, ghporter might have to come in and school you on that...

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Laminar

Be careful, ghporter might have to come in and school you on that...

Yes, I might!

Originally Posted by Eriamjh

Sounds like assault, to me.

Me too. Or actually "battery". Any threat to do bodily harm to any degree is defined as "assault," while any physical act against you is battery. Shoving, pushing, hitting, whatever. Technically, his telling you he was going to "**** you up" and then pushing you is "assault and battery," and is typically a felony. That means jail or prison. He's probably familiar with these places-or will be very soon. In other words, PRESS CHARGES NOW. He will only get worse.

[turtle777]

Bribing the police and city officials sounds like a great idea.

I'd recommend to keep a detailed log of all his fu<k-ups, incl. date and time.

-t

[red rocket]

Originally Posted by ghporter

Technically, his telling you he was going to "**** you up" and then pushing you is "assault and battery," and is typically a felony. That means jail or prison. He's probably familiar with these places-or will be very soon. In other words, PRESS CHARGES NOW. He will only get worse.

You have got to be kidding.

The guy thought SpaceMonkey was harassing his wife or something, so he made some threats and pushed him.

Big deal. He apologised, didn't he?

‘Assault and battery’, ridiculous. You don't go around pressing charges over stuff like this, it's a waste of police time and taxpayers' money.

I mean, c'mon.