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"Hot" Sauce vs Frozen Pizza (Page 2)
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Waragainstsleep
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Jan 3, 2015, 11:47 AM
 
I've said it before but if you want a quick, cheap, thin base use tortillas. Get two or three and glue them together with tomato sauce, pesto, cream cheese, garlic butter or whatever you fancy. Put cheese (and FFS not that yellow plastic shit that passes for cheese in a burger), ham, pepperoni or other thin sliced sausage of your choice in between the layers. Then spread more sauce on top and cover it in your favourite fresh ingredients.

Its not as quick to prepare as a frozen pizza but ten minutes to make it, ten to cook it and its just as quick from start to finish. Tastes miles better than any frozen garbage with reformed ham and "cheese flavoured substance" on it.
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ShortcutToMoncton
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Jan 3, 2015, 11:55 AM
 
What he said - but try using a pizza steel! I've never tried with frozen pizza dough but should work
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Waragainstsleep
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Jan 3, 2015, 04:15 PM
 
I saw a nifty guide to make your own pizza oven last night. You get two large terracotta flower pots, put one inside the other, cut an arch shape out of both using an angle grinder. You then put them upside down on some firebricks, maybe on top of some fireproof concrete slabs. Put some wood in and set it on fire. Then when it gets to 400C or so, throw a pizza in it.
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BLAZE_MkIV
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Jan 3, 2015, 05:20 PM
 
Are we trying to do cheap pizza or fast pizza?
     
Waragainstsleep
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Jan 4, 2015, 06:50 AM
 
Its fast once its up to temp.
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ghporter
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Jan 5, 2015, 06:57 PM
 
Wow, that's extremely useful. Thanks.

(This was aimed at BadKosh, but between my late posting and my browser getting stupid, it didn't at all seem related once this post showed up.)
( Last edited by ghporter; Jan 6, 2015 at 08:11 AM. )

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Chongo
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Jan 5, 2015, 07:25 PM
 
Originally Posted by BLAZE_MkIV View Post
Are we trying to do cheap pizza or fast pizza?
Trying to make cheap frozen pizza more palatable with hot sauce. I believe we're talking Totino's, Jeno's, Tony's and such, yes?

Originally Posted by subego View Post
I'm looking for something to kick-up, say, a shitty frozen pizza.

I'm okay with the Tabasco range of heat, but would prefer a step (even two) lower. I just don't enjoy it the way I used to.

Suggestions?
45/47
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 6, 2015, 06:03 AM
 
Originally Posted by Chongo View Post
Trying to make cheap frozen pizza more palatable with hot sauce. I believe we're talking Totino's, Jeno's, Tony's and such, yes?
Yes!

The mistake "better" frozen pizzas make is they try to replicate fresh pizza to some extent or another.

This simply can't be done with a good, fresh pizza. If you live where you can get good pizza, getting a "better" frozen pizza means you have a discipline problem. The proper course of action is to hold out for the better pizza.

The "cheap" frozen pizzas chuck the idea of being a fresh pizza out the window. They're the best you can do if you take the limitations of being frozen and then cooked on a rack in a regular oven. They're closer to pastry than pizza, but that doesn't have the marketing zing people look for.

So, the problem isn't it needs to be transformed into a fresh pizza, the problem is it's just a touch blander than it should be, in order to remain inoffensive to as many palates as possible.
     
mindwaves
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Jan 6, 2015, 09:24 AM
 
I guess I'm the only one who prefers cheap, frozen pizza over the real stuff.
     
Amber Neely
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Jan 6, 2015, 02:53 PM
 
Ahhh, shitty frozen pizza. Is there anything better (or worse?) Admittedly, I don't eat a lot of boxed/pre-prepared/heat-and-serve food because A) I'm always broke and B) I have more food allergies/intolerance than I care to count, but there are times when I find myself staring down the barrel of a frozen DiGorno pizza. My favorite things to do to frozen pizza whenever I have to eat it is add some extra things to help cut the processed taste. In no particular order, I add...

1) Pesto to cheese pizza. I make my own pesto in the summer and freeze it in an ice cube tray for year-round pesto having. It's really cheap to make (I use walnuts instead of pine nuts, or cashews if I have any leftovers). You can just chop up the frozen pesto (which is easy) and sprinkle it on the pizza. Gives it a "not so crap" taste.

2) Buffalo sauce. Okay, so buffalo sauce is my go-to condiment for everything. I know that it's frequently hotter than tobasco, but it's REALLY GOOD. Also you don't need a lot. I add it after the pizza is cooked.

3) Pickles. Dill pickles, in fact. Added post-pizza. Anyone who says "eeew" should realize that pickles are actually a traditional pizza topping and step off my vinegar/dill obsession.

4) Frozen peppers! I add frozen peppers to almost anything I make. I buy those big bags of mini sweet/mild peppers when they go on sale at walmart or wegmans, or the tri-color (red, orange, yellow) packs when they go on sale at Aldi's, chop them up fine, and keep them in the freezer at all times. They add a nice fresh taste, enough acidity/sweetness to cut the blandness of frozen pizza pretty well. Just dump a bunch on the pizza when it goes in the oven. (I also add these to rice, chili, tofu-scrambles, savory pancakes, etc etc)

5) Taco sauce. Admittedly, much like buffalo sauce, there aren't many savory foods that I won't add taco sauce to. I really, really like taco sauce.

6) Bacon bits. I generally go for the fake, soy-based bits, but I suppose real bacon bits would also work well.

7) Balsamic vinegar to veggie pizzas. Enough acidity/sweetness to help liven up even the most bland offerings. You don't have to buy high-quality balsamic vinegar for this option. Save the high quality stuff for your fancy salads or your vanilla ice cream.

8) Freshly ground black pepper. Maybe, at 28 years old, I'm finally turning into my mother. I feel like there isn't a lot of food that can't be improved with fresh black pepper.

All else fails, drink 3-4 good beers and pretty much even the crappiest pizza tastes pretty okay.
     
BLAZE_MkIV
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Jan 6, 2015, 02:58 PM
 
They are usually severely lacking in spices. Oregano type spices not jalapeno.

Just get a jar like this and shake some on.
McCormick Italian Seasoning 6.25oz 177g $11.93USD - Spice Place
     
Chongo
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Jan 6, 2015, 03:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by BLAZE_MkIV View Post
They are usually severely lacking in spices. Oregano type spices not jalapeno.

Just get a jar like this and shake some on.
McCormick Italian Seasoning 6.25oz 177g $11.93USD - Spice Place
Yep, that's what I do. Digiorno is not bad for frozen. I sprinkle Italian seasoning on the likes Totino's three cheese or store brand pizza. They heat up nice in our counter top oven. I use crushed red pepper on all pizza, fressh or frozen. We have a several award winning pizzerias in our area, Pizzeria Bianco being amoung them. Suffice to say we haven't bought chain pizza for a long time.
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Waragainstsleep
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Jan 6, 2015, 04:50 PM
 
I agree that everything savoury is better with black pepper. As are Strawberries.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
Amber Neely
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Jan 6, 2015, 05:00 PM
 
Originally Posted by Waragainstsleep View Post
I agree that everything savoury is better with black pepper. As are Strawberries.
Mango and watermelon are usually not eaten in this household without black pepper, either!
     
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Jan 6, 2015, 05:58 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
The mistake "better" frozen pizzas make is they try to replicate fresh pizza to some extent or another.

This simply can't be done with a good, fresh pizza. If you live where you can get good pizza, getting a "better" frozen pizza means you have a discipline problem. The proper course of action is to hold out for the better pizza.

The "cheap" frozen pizzas chuck the idea of being a fresh pizza out the window. They're the best you can do if you take the limitations of being frozen and then cooked on a rack in a regular oven. They're closer to pastry than pizza, but that doesn't have the marketing zing people look for.

So, the problem isn't it needs to be transformed into a fresh pizza, the problem is it's just a touch blander than it should be, in order to remain inoffensive to as many palates as possible.
This is like something out of Reservoir Dogs. Needs a few 'F' words though.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 7, 2015, 02:03 AM
 
The "better" frozen pizza ****ing hurt me.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 7, 2015, 02:05 AM
 
Originally Posted by Chongo View Post
They heat up nice in our counter top oven.
This is another pro of that variety. Toaster oven friendly.
     
BLAZE_MkIV
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Jan 7, 2015, 12:41 PM
 
Back in high school I had cut down and re-crimped one of those disposable aluminum pans to perfectly fit a Totino's in the toaster oven.
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Jan 7, 2015, 01:46 PM
 
No seriously people......trying a pizza/baking steel. Makes amazing pizza in your oven.
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Waragainstsleep
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Jan 7, 2015, 08:33 PM
 
Has anyone tried a pizza stone?
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turtle777
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Jan 7, 2015, 09:14 PM
 
Originally Posted by Waragainstsleep View Post
Has anyone tried a pizza stone?
Yes, but I never found that the results were superior to a steel rack. At5 least not with frozen pizza. Fresh pizza dough is a different animal.

-t
     
BadKosh
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Jan 8, 2015, 08:45 AM
 
The pizza stones also need to be used a bunch of times to become 'seasoned'.
     
turtle777
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Jan 8, 2015, 11:09 AM
 
Originally Posted by BadKosh View Post
The pizza stones also need to be used a bunch of times to become 'seasoned'.
Never heard of it. Doesn't make sense.

It's not like cast iron pans, where the "seasoning" seals up the uneven surface.
I thought the pizza stone is supposed to "wick away" moisture from the crust. Seasoning it would have the opposite effect, making it less porous.

-t
     
BadKosh
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Jan 8, 2015, 11:14 AM
 
They are to store heat, so when you put that pizza on the stone, the temp won't drop that much, so your temp stays high to cook the crust, melt the cheese and you're done in 4 minutes. Brick oven pizzarias do this.
     
Chongo
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Jan 8, 2015, 12:04 PM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
Never heard of it. Doesn't make sense.

It's not like cast iron pans, where the "seasoning" seals up the uneven surface.
I thought the pizza stone is supposed to "wick away" moisture from the crust. Seasoning it would have the opposite effect, making it less porous.

-t
We have a Pampered Chef Stone. They need to be oiled and seasoned like cast iron skilletes.

Unseasoned


Seasoned
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ShortcutToMoncton
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Jan 8, 2015, 02:32 PM
 
Again, check out pizza steel - also called baking steel. They are a relatively new product - I got one recently. It's meant to replace a stone for oven use, and does just as good a job without some of the downsides of stones.
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BadKosh
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Jan 8, 2015, 03:46 PM
 
I learned of the tile from Alton Brown / Good Eats.

"There's nothing quite like ripping into a fresh loaf of artisanal bread, is there? Straight from the oven, all crispy-crusted outside and gloriously tender inside, it's one of those moments that make your day so much better. It's not impossible to re-create that experience in your own home. Baking artisanal bread isn't something you have to leave to the professionals---if you've got the proper tools. You needn't spend a lot of money, either.


Have You Got the Stones?

No, not baking stones. These are stones used for baking, yes, but they don't cost nearly as much.

Unglazed quarry tiles are a popular option. Many people, Alton Brown of Food Network fame included, regularly recommend these for home use (reference 3). They're very inexpensive at your local home improvement store, and they work well across a wide range of temperatures. Make sure you buy only unglazed ones. Many glazes contain lead, which you don't want anywhere near your food (reference 1).

Unglazed ceramic tiles will also do the trick. They're a bit smaller, so you'll need to buy more of them. You can get these at most home improvement stores, too. The same rule applies to these as to the quarry tiles: Never buy glazed ones. Consider that a rule for all stone purchases upon which you intend to bake any food."
     
Chongo
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Jan 8, 2015, 04:09 PM
 
Our stone broke but was replaced gratis by Pampered Chef. That one has been in service for over ten years. The pizza steel sound intriguing.
45/47
     
Amber Neely
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Jan 8, 2015, 06:45 PM
 
Originally Posted by BadKosh View Post
Unglazed quarry tiles are a popular option. "
It should also be noted that these suckers can live in your oven 24/7, and if you are lucky enough to own a gas oven you can drop 'em straight on the floor of the oven as long as they don't cover any of the ventilation holes. They also help even out your ovens temperature by absorbing and radiating heat back out slowly, requiring your oven to do less on/off cycles. They up your preheat time by a little, though.

I have an electric oven, unfortunately, so mine would have to live on the bottom wire rack, which means I ultimately A) lose a racks worth of space, and B) have to use less because wire racks can bend under the weight. I used to have a few tiles in a gas oven when I lived in South Dakota and I really liked 'em, but the last several apartments I've lived in all have electrics with the coil on the floor.
     
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Jan 13, 2015, 02:41 AM
 
Today I ate most of a slice of what I believe was a Jeno's frozen pizza and I beg you, don't eat that stuff. The box claims that it's a "party pizza" but I can't imagine what kind of party you'd want to grace with such a thing, maybe a parole rejection mosh? I don't think it's really even food, just flavored sawdust and glue. It left me feeling a little nauseous for several hours.
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subego  (op)
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Jan 13, 2015, 06:40 AM
 
Maybe it had freezer burn.

Most people complain about the "sausage", which I'll admit is an acquired taste. It has a petrochemical thing going on.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 29, 2015, 09:20 PM
 
I said "**** it" and ordered it direct.



I shall report back!
     
Cap'n Tightpants
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Jan 29, 2015, 09:25 PM
 
Mmmmm
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mindwaves
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Jan 31, 2015, 07:48 AM
 
Just had a $0.77 Celeste frozen pizza (on sale), and it was delicious!
( Last edited by mindwaves; Jan 31, 2015 at 08:26 AM. )
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Jan 31, 2015, 01:42 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
I said "**** it" and ordered it direct.



I shall report back!
Nice. I couldn't find it at my local supermart either; maybe I'll do the same thing.

Get the pizza steel next and you'll be a pro.

A cheap-ass, frozen-pizza-and-pansy-hot-sauce-eating pro.
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subego  (op)
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Jan 31, 2015, 01:47 PM
 
Prepare to get rolled by the Shipping and Handling twins.
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Jan 31, 2015, 01:59 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Prepare to get rolled by the Shipping and Handling twins.
Oh man, you don`t even want to know about duty and shipping charges to Canada. Shipping companies raised their rates in the last couple years...it's ugly. My wife just received some sort of special winter baby seat blanket that cost $70 from the States...UPS charged me $60 shipping at the door, and it ain`t like a small blanket is big or heavy.

Also, our dollar has tanked recently, so the exchange rate is suddenly brutal right now....just as I had to book two vacations in American money. (Texas and Caribbean.) My bum hurts.
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andi*pandi
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Jan 31, 2015, 05:08 PM
 
For $60 shipping, almost worth just driving over the border into Calais, mon ami?
     
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Jan 31, 2015, 10:21 PM
 
Hah. I'm 1200 miles and 25+ hours of driving away from Maine.
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andi*pandi
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Feb 2, 2015, 12:21 PM
 
ok, that puts a damper on that idea.
     
subego  (op)
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Feb 14, 2015, 04:36 PM
 
Forgot to report!

The Garlic Tabasco is excellent. Just a touch more kick than I want, but much mellower than the normal variety. Many thanks!

It passed the most important test right up front. I put too much on the first piece, like... way too much, and it didn't wreck it.
     
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Feb 15, 2015, 06:54 AM
 
I totally forgot to mention, Franks's Red Hot has a "Chili n Lime" flavour that is really nice tasting and not as hot as their normal Red Hot. Likely $4 at your local supermarket. I use it on any pizza, rice, etc.
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subego  (op)
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Feb 15, 2015, 07:59 AM
 
Ooooh... I like lime.
     
BadKosh
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Feb 15, 2015, 12:49 PM
 
Texas Pete has a really good "Hotter" hot sauce BTW...
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Feb 15, 2015, 04:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Ooooh... I like lime.
It's shockingly tasty. I was extremely dubious at first - I like my hot sauce and this is an obvious gimmick product - but now I literally put that shit on everything...I soaked my risotto with it last night.

It's not a special order so worth giving a try for a couple bucks.

Originally Posted by BadKosh View Post
Texas Pete has a really good "Hotter" hot sauce BTW...
I love how you've somehow concluded that sub is looking for a hotter hot sauce. The man finds Tabasco too extreme; somehow I don't think "hotter" is of much interest!
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subego  (op)
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Feb 15, 2015, 05:03 PM
 
We welcome hot sauce discussion of all creeds!
     
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Feb 15, 2015, 08:56 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Forgot to report!

The Garlic Tabasco is excellent. Just a touch more kick than I want, but much mellower than the normal variety. Many thanks!

It passed the most important test right up front. I put too much on the first piece, like... way too much, and it didn't wreck it.
It is my goto hot sauce for breakfast, amazing on eggs. Glad you like it.
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BadKosh
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Feb 16, 2015, 07:25 AM
 
Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton View Post
I love how you've somehow concluded that sub is looking for a hotter hot sauce. The man finds Tabasco too extreme; somehow I don't think "hotter" is of much interest!
Well you don't have to cover your food with it. Texas Pete "Hotter" has flavor too. I put just 1-2 drops on Macaroni&Cheeze for some extra depth. I just discovered a Korean sauce that is spicy, a little hot but many more flavors. I'll experiment with that one when I can find it. Schiracha is better on the local "Street Dogs" with chile & onions than the Mexican or BBQ hot sauces. I still havent found the best foods to put Pick-A-Peppa yet.....
     
subego  (op)
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Feb 16, 2015, 12:54 PM
 
The best food to put pick-a-peppa on would be Ritz crackers and cream cheese.
     
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Feb 16, 2015, 03:31 PM
 
Excellent reason to get some creme cheese!
     
 
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