Welcome to the MacNN Forums.

DeathMan · Aug 29, 2005, 08:29 PM

Since the critique of Hash's poster went so well, I thought I'd throw one up as well. This is for a full page ad in Popular Photography (I think. It's one of the bigger photography magazines in the US).

I've posted various things regarding this project before, and got really great feedback. If someone wants to mock-up a version with a unicorn, I'm all for that.

Check it out here
Our service

Albert Pujols · Aug 29, 2005, 08:36 PM

Whats up with the bottom right corner of each picture? Why is it cut out?

ironknee · Aug 29, 2005, 08:41 PM

nice. but what does it do? if i am a photographer, i can sell more of my work through the site?

looks cool

Chuckit · Aug 29, 2005, 08:42 PM

Personally, I dig it. The only thing I wonder is, why is "bridesmaid" red? It makes me think there's some sort of connection between "bridesmaid" and "until now," when actually the equivalent part of the second line is "customer." I'd also kill hyphenation in the body text. It looks tacky to me to have short text hyphenated. You should be able to adjust that small an amount to fit right.

DeathMan · Aug 29, 2005, 09:20 PM

Originally Posted by Albert Pujols

Whats up with the bottom right corner of each picture? Why is it cut out?

Its a style element that we use in our corporate site. If you go from the ad to the corporate site, you will see an immediate connection.

Originally Posted by ironknee

nice. but what does it do? if i am a photographer, i can sell more of my work through the site?

looks cool

If you're a photographer you can reach a broader audience by selling prints to people you wouldn't normally have that close of contact with, like bridesmaids or grandmas.

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Personally, I dig it. The only thing I wonder is, why is "bridesmaid" red? It makes me think there's some sort of connection between "bridesmaid" and "until now," when actually the equivalent part of the second line is "customer." I'd also kill hyphenation in the body text. It looks tacky to me to have short text hyphenated. You should be able to adjust that small an amount to fit right.

You make a good point. The Bridesmaid->Till now connection was purely visual. I had the word 'customer' red, and didn't like how it looked. Shame on me. Due to your recommendation, I"ll probably change it back.

jonasmac · Aug 29, 2005, 09:31 PM

I like the design. My comment is on the copy. It was unclear to me what instaproofs does on my first read through.

The lead sentence is weak. Maybe it should read more like: "Instaproof makes it easy to sell proofs....with no setup fees...." With "instaproofs" highlighted red or made bold. The change phrase order will add emphasis and will tell the reader what instaproof does right off the bat.

Lookin' good, though.

AKcrab · Aug 29, 2005, 09:43 PM

Always a Bridesmaid, never a Bride...
And never a customer, until now.

Just a thought.

I would also move the "instaproofs: Sell More Prints" to the top near the bridesmaid text.

*Disclaimer: Consumer only, not a graphics guy.

RAILhead · Aug 29, 2005, 10:32 PM

I'm not a fan of the hyphen in normally.

Other than that -- and what's been mentioned above -- I like it.

Scandalous Ion Cannon · Aug 29, 2005, 10:34 PM

Before someone else posts it

quietjim · Aug 29, 2005, 11:21 PM

The copy needs work, it's stilted...doesn't draw the reader in.

DeathMan · Aug 29, 2005, 11:27 PM

Originally Posted by quietjim

The copy needs work, it's stilted...doesn't draw the reader in.

Yeah, I'm not a copywriter. I'll see if I can rewrite it a few times.

SWG: don't try to pass off old work for original proof sales ads. I want to see something *original*

MaxPower2k3 · Aug 29, 2005, 11:37 PM

It looks quite good, although the logo (don't know if that was your design or not) immediately makes me think of Adobe's logo. I think it's the colors and the triangle in the logo (although this one is perpendicular to Adobe's logo). I guess that's not necessarily bad, it was just an immediate connection I made (and maybe i'm the only one)