Please break it to me gently if I'm caught somewhere between now and the birth of black jesus but I think I figured out why iTunes uses such ridiculous amounts of RAM.
I forget when the feature was officially removed but there used to be a checkbox that said "Use 20% of free RAM for iTunes" to conserve battery life on portables and boost performance. Do you think it's always on now on both the Mac and Windows versions and that's why it uses so much RAM? I did a test earlier. I kept opening programs on my iMac until I started getting pageouts, then checked top to see iTunes active RAM use. It was sitting at about 6MB. I think iTunes hogs RAM when it's not being used for your benefit but gives it up when things are tight.
Comments? Confirmations? Ridicule?