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I need help
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TubaMuffins
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Mar 11, 2005, 06:57 AM
 
I know a lot of you guys have more dating relationship than I do so I turn to you for help. I know it won't be easy but I need/want to break up with my girlfriend. A little background. She is my first serious girlfriend and she has had more experience than me, so she is ready to settle down and I want to keep dating around. We are both only 20 so the idea of marriage freaks me out and that is the main reason why I need to end this relationship. In January she left to study abroad in Ireland and we mutually decided to take a break so we could both explore as we were seperate. I have met another girl, but that doesn't really matter. In April I will be flying to London and we will travel across Europe together. I want to travel as friends but I know she wants it to be intimate. I want to remain a part of her life, but as a friend. As we are geographically apart now, I should break up with her over phone instead of email, I think its better I do it before I get there to see her. Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am losing much sleep over this. Thanks all.
     
AKcrab
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Mar 11, 2005, 07:02 AM
 
This is so messed up.
Cancel your trip, tell her you don't love her, and let her go. You're not being fair to either of you.
     
TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 11, 2005, 07:10 AM
 
Originally posted by AKcrab:
This is so messed up.
Cancel your trip, tell her you don't love her, and let her go. You're not being fair to either of you.
Not an option, i have already invested too much money and time into this trip. Also, I am going to visit several other friends, but I will be travelling with her the whole time. Im not going to just let her go becuase I still want to be her friend, I just don't know the best way to tell her.
     
Big Mac
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Mar 11, 2005, 07:14 AM
 
The two of you will probably make the trip difficult for one another, if you follow through with your intentions.

"The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground." TJ
     
Randman
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Mar 11, 2005, 07:17 AM
 
Originally posted by AKcrab:
This is so messed up.
Cancel your trip, tell her you don't love her, and let her go. You're not being fair to either of you.
Yep, anything less and you're screwing both of you over and being a jerk about it.

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turtle777
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Mar 11, 2005, 10:37 AM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
Not an option, i have already invested too much money and time into this trip. Also, I am going to visit several other friends, but I will be travelling with her the whole time. Im not going to just let her go becuase I still want to be her friend, I just don't know the best way to tell her.
If you think you could just switch from a serious relationship to just being friends then you are overly naive.

You're options are

1) Breaking up BEFORE the trip and cancel the trip -> least mess
2) Breaking up ON the trip -> big mess option
3) Breaking up AFTER the trip -> start taking some acting classes

There are NO other choices. It's either gonna happen before, in midst or after the trip.

If you don't want to cancel the trip, great, have fun with a greatly disturbing trip, either externally (when breaking up) or internally (pretending everything is fine).

-t
     
E's Lil Theorem
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Mar 11, 2005, 11:29 AM
 
Originally posted by Randman:
Originally posted by AKcrab:
This is so messed up.
Cancel your trip, tell her you don't love her, and let her go. You're not being fair to either of you.
Yep, anything less and you're screwing both of you over and being a jerk about it.
Exactly. Be honest as to exactly why you want to break up with her and when you finally do (the sooner the better, BTW), do not do it over email.

Good luck.
     
effgee
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Mar 11, 2005, 11:36 AM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
Not an option, i have already invested too much money and time into this trip. Also, I am going to visit several other friends, but I will be travelling with her the whole time. Im not going to just let her go becuase I still want to be her friend, I just don't know the best way to tell her.


You have got to be kidding, right?

Imagine your ever so generous "I want to remain friends" if the roles were reversed (i.e. you were in love with that woman and she'd dump your ass) - would you want to go on a vacation with her??

Apologies if this sounds overly harsh - but, in your post above, you sound like a selfish, spoiled brat. Just count the occurences of "me" and "I" and the compare that to the number of "her" - that should tell you all you need to know.

Also, there's nothing (inherently) wrong with being selfish - if that happens to be what floats ones' boat - as long as one remains upfront about it.


Put your cards on the table - call her, tell her, see how she reacts and take it from there.

As if this even needed to be mentioned: Treat her the same way you would want to be treated. With honesty and respect.




(Edit: Europe is actually a pretty large "place". If you're planning on visiting friends anyway - who says you can't go on vacation by yourself? Unless of course you don't want to be "lonely" during travel times - in that case see "spoiled and selfish" above)
( Last edited by effgee; Mar 11, 2005 at 11:54 AM. )
     
Joshua
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Mar 11, 2005, 11:55 AM
 
Originally posted by effgee:


You have got to be kidding, right?

Imagine your ever so generous "I want to remain friends" if the roles were reversed (i.e. you were in love with that woman and she'd dump your ass) - would you want to go on a vacation with her??

Apologies if this sounds overly harsh - but, in your post above, you sound like a selfish, spoiled brat. Just count the occurences of "me" and "I" and the compare that to the number of "her" - that should tell you all you need to know.

Also, there's nothing (inherently) wrong with being selfish - if that happens to be what floats ones' boat - as long as one remains upfront about it.


Put your cards on the table - call her, tell her, see how she reacts and take it from there.

As if this even needed to be mentioned: Treat her the same way you would want to be treated. With honesty and respect.

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Mr Kino
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Mar 11, 2005, 11:57 AM
 
Breaks ups are never easy. The best thing i can recommend is just talk to her and tell her how you feel. Tell her you are scared about getting married at such a young age.

since you already spent so much money on this vacation, you might as well go and break up with her over there. (btw you never know if she found someone else too, chicks are evil) Just sit her down and tell her how you feel about it. You two are adults and she should understand. after you break up you need to call up one of your buddies and spend the rest of the vacation there.

Good luck,

oh and pick me up a hunnie while you are there.
     
budster101
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Mar 11, 2005, 12:03 PM
 
Ok, my initial thoughts were "scumbag"... but then I actually read your post.

Call her on the telephone, and tell her how you feel.

- First girlfriend. (real)
- You want to explore the world and gain life experiences, and not necessarily with her as an intimate partner, but as your friend.
- You are doing her a favor as well. You don't feel it right to string her along just because of a trip. You want her to be a part of it, but not in *that* way.
- Be honest, and if she's cool, she'll love you more for it.

It's the F'cked up chicks that wig out, and hey, you are better knowing that as well if she does... if that happens, run-run-run away.



Be cool.
( Last edited by budster101; Mar 11, 2005 at 12:10 PM. )
     
TheBadgerHunter
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Mar 11, 2005, 12:07 PM
 
Moron.


Seriously, you're gonna be kicking your own ass soon.
     
budster101
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Mar 11, 2005, 12:12 PM
 
Oh, forgot to ask, is she a hottie?

If so, (I agree, you'll be kicking your own ass) soon...
Them there European chicks don't shave...
     
TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 11, 2005, 02:49 PM
 
well i got some replies that i didnt want to hear but i guess its good to hear all the viewpoints. to whoever said i was selfish, you dont know what you are tlalking about. you are judging me on a slice of my life, if you knew me you wouldnt say that. and as for calling me spoiled, i already said i spent too much money, when i get back i am getting a graveyard shift at a grocery store in addition to my full time job i already have to pay off my credit card debt. also, when it comes to deciding the future of a relationship, i think one must be selfish. if you think you should stay in a relationship because you want her to remain happy, you are going to have a horrible time, you have to think about yourself and whats fairest to you but also do it in a way thats fair to her. And i honestly do want to remain friends with her, she is a wonderful girl. thats why this stinks, because our relationship will be ending on good terms.

since we've already been apart for 3.5 months already, it wont be going from a relationship to just friends. the 3.5 months have let things slow down a little.

even though i got answers i didnt want to hear, thanks for the responses, makes me think more about what im doing. and im gonna do it anyway.
     
Shaddim
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Mar 11, 2005, 02:55 PM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
also, when it comes to deciding the future of a relationship, i think one must be selfish.
That says it all. Break things off with her now, she deserves someone better.
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
     
Sandbaggins
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Mar 11, 2005, 03:00 PM
 
Originally posted by MacNStein:
That says it all. Break things off with her now, she deserves someone better.
Yup. Was thinking the same thing meeself
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effgee
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Mar 11, 2005, 03:04 PM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
... to whoever said i was selfish, you dont know what you are tlalking about. ...
That would be me.

And if you'd quit moping for a second and read/quote the entire sentence of my post, you'll see that I wrote:
  • "... but, in your post above, you sound like a selfish, spoiled brat. ..."
Have you considered the possibility that I might have worded the sentence that way on purpose? Last time I checked there was a difference between "in your post you sound like a selfish, spoiled brat" and "you are a selfish, spoiled brat". I judged your post, not you as a person.

Always helpful to actually read stuff before you bitch about it.

     
Jens Peter
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Mar 11, 2005, 03:23 PM
 
As everyone else said, break up with her before going on the trip. And yes, Europe is a large place, you can travel on your own and meet new people. Then you haven't wasted your money either.


Originally posted by budster101:
Them there European chicks don't shave...
And all Americans are fat and loves the Bush administration
     
wdlove
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Mar 11, 2005, 04:14 PM
 
Since you have decided to continue with the trip to Europe, you should make the best of the trip. It would be best to wait and talk with her face to face. There is always a chance that your feelings will change.

"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense." Winston Churchill
     
TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 11, 2005, 04:23 PM
 
i asked for help, not to be judged. if any one of you knew me you wouldn't have said the things you did but i dont care cause i know they arent true. its my fault though because i didnt give you every single detail of my life. i came to y'all to get advice on yhe best way to let her down without hurting her too much because i love her. thanks but im gonna do it the same as i was gonna do it yesterday cause i didnt get any help from you.
     
Shaddim
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Mar 11, 2005, 04:32 PM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
i asked for help, not to be judged. if any one of you knew me you wouldn't have said the things you did but i dont care cause i know they arent true. its my fault though because i didnt give you every single detail of my life. i came to y'all to get advice on yhe best way to let her down without hurting her too much because i love her. thanks but im gonna do it the same as i was gonna do it yesterday cause i didnt get any help from you.
We told you the best way, and that is for you tell her now. However, you're choosing to be a selfish jerk, suit yourself. Just don't get pissy with us simply because we aren't giving you the answers that you want to hear. Any time a person asks for advice they leave themselves open to judgement, that's just life. Deal with it.

If you really loved her you'd call her and let her know how you feel, instead of being so worried that you're going to screw up your vacation plans.

As I said before, she sounds like a great girl and she's fortunate that you're breaking things off, she deserves someone better.
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
     
effgee
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Mar 11, 2005, 04:54 PM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
i asked for help, not to be judged. ...
Oh fer crying out loud - what is it with you and the whining?

The folks here, in good faith, told you to break up with her now and cancel the trip. Your answer to that was:
"... Not an option, i have already invested too much money and time into this trip. Also, I am going to visit several other friends, but I will be travelling with her the whole time. Im not going to just let her go becuase I still want to be her friend, ..."
Your money, your time, your friends. "Me, me, me"

Not a single word about the pain you are about to cause a person you claim you loved until very recently - and you are surprised when people tell you that sounds selfish? How old are you? I know you said "20" - but from reading the above, I'd have guessed something like "14".

And what the heck is it with the harping on your travel plans?? You say you are 20 years old - can't you travel by yourself? Are you afraid the evil Europeans are going to hurt you?

You asked for advice - what part of "call her now and tell her" is it that you don't understand? It's only 9pm in Ireland - do the girl a favor and get it over with.

And yes - the more upset you get about people judging you (the person), the more you do sound selfish - and not just a little.
     
mdc
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Mar 11, 2005, 04:59 PM
 
Originally posted by MacNStein:
. . .
If you really loved her you'd call her and let her know how you feel, instead of being so worried that you're going to screw up your vacation plans.
. . .
that line sums it all up.

you are young, there will be more opportunities to go overseas. sorry that you will lose your money if you do not go, but she does not deserve for you to break up with her and then be forced to travel around europe with you just because you won't take the monetary loss.

put yourself in her shoes for a second. how would you like it if she broke up with you, you are destroyed (since she seems a lot more into the relationship that you do), and then still wanted to do this vacation?

"Not an option, i have already invested too much money and time into this trip. Also, I am going to visit several other friends, but I will be travelling with her the whole time. Im not going to just let her go becuase I still want to be her friend, I just don't know the best way to tell her."

to me, that sounds like you just want to go on this vacation so you do not lose out on anything, and her coming along is sitting in a 2nd place.
change our minds about how you really feel about her. . . and then you will have _tiny_ chance of convincing her that you do really love her.
     
TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 12, 2005, 04:46 AM
 
i know i need to call her now, thats why i asked for help as to how to let her down the best way. I am not selfish, you dont know the whole story. i will go to Europe to continue my trip and i plan on spending it with her, i want to spend it with her. its not about the money, i have been planning this trip for a while and want to do it. yes, i am scared to travel by myself as i have never done it before, she has exerienced living abroad so that will help us as we travel TOGETHER. forget it, im drunk now and im pissed off. i am NOT selfish, i am not a brat. im gonna do it my way so forget. i asked for help and got judged. i posted the original with the assumothin that you al would accept the story i know and help me from where ia m. if you knew the whole story (over a year and a half) you would understand beetter. i am going to do it. i dont lok forward to it but it has to be done, i czare for her so i know i have to do it before i get to her. i wish you would all wouldnt be so wuick to judge a person by thier posts and accept the post from where it stands. i will not let you know how it goes but i tell you now it will happen and i will still board my plane and spend my trip with her. i will call her tomorrow and as i said i will not let you know how it goes, im done with this. LOCK IT AND FORGET YOU, PLEASE.
     
Athens
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Mar 12, 2005, 04:52 AM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
I know a lot of you guys have more dating relationship than I do so I turn to you for help. I know it won't be easy but I need/want to break up with my girlfriend. A little background. She is my first serious girlfriend and she has had more experience than me, so she is ready to settle down and I want to keep dating around. We are both only 20 so the idea of marriage freaks me out and that is the main reason why I need to end this relationship. In January she left to study abroad in Ireland and we mutually decided to take a break so we could both explore as we were seperate. I have met another girl, but that doesn't really matter. In April I will be flying to London and we will travel across Europe together. I want to travel as friends but I know she wants it to be intimate. I want to remain a part of her life, but as a friend. As we are geographically apart now, I should break up with her over phone instead of email, I think its better I do it before I get there to see her. Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am losing much sleep over this. Thanks all.
Tell her you want to break up, and end it. And cut all ties. Its painful keeping in touch. I still spend a lot of time with my X and some days the hurt is more then I can handle.
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TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 12, 2005, 04:54 AM
 
Originally posted by mdc:

change our minds about how you really feel about her. . . and then you will have _tiny_ chance of convincing her that you do really love her.
you want me to convince you that i love her? our time together and before we met each other would take too long to write in order for me to explain and prove that i love her. i dont want to end our relationship, i could see myself spendong the rest of my life with her had i met her a few years dopwn the road when i am ready to commit to a marriage. at this point in my life (where i am only 20 years of age) i am not ready for that kind of commitment. i often say to myself that i wish i had met her later in my life so that i would be ready to commit to her. i wish it had happened that way but it did not so this is the way i must deal with it. after the string of shitty boyfriends she had before me (drug dealers and the such), she needs me as much as i need her but i cant do it right now. its too complicated as any relationship involving love is. the only way to find your one, true love is to meet everyone there is. if you are in love with your partner, how would you ever know it couldnt get better? i am not saying that i am selfish and want the best for myself, i am saying that no one knows, it will never be known. most people date for a long time before they settle down, she is my first and i am not ready to do that, i need to explore more, find other people and myslef. call me selfish and spoiled, i dont care, its not true. i love her but i wish it had been later that i met her. that is all.
     
TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 12, 2005, 04:56 AM
 
Originally posted by Athens:
Tell her you want to break up, and end it. And cut all ties. Its painful keeping in touch. I still spend a lot of time with my X and some days the hurt is more then I can handle.
see, i dont know that because i dont have that experience, i want to remain friends but everyone says it will not eb possible, i dont know that, i dont have enough experience to know that. why cant we remain friends?
     
Randman
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Mar 12, 2005, 05:07 AM
 
Ahh, to be so young and so stupid again.

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TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 12, 2005, 05:09 AM
 
Originally posted by Randman:
Ahh, to be so young and so stupid again.
EDIT: original message erased

Im sorry, im really drunk and kind of pissed off that did not the help i expected. i will call her when i wake up and let you know what happens, goodnight.
( Last edited by TubaMuffins; Mar 12, 2005 at 05:16 AM. )
     
Athens
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Mar 12, 2005, 05:17 AM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
see, i dont know that because i dont have that experience, i want to remain friends but everyone says it will not eb possible, i dont know that, i dont have enough experience to know that. why cant we remain friends?
its possible, its just painful and usally more to the one that is getting dumped.
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Randman
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Mar 12, 2005, 05:22 AM
 
Many of have made some harsh comments but many of those comments have been made from experience. It's nothing personal but you came across as quite insensitive, quite immature and quite shocked that people weren't agreeing and supporting your decision.

You say you love her and don't want to hurt her, but your actions show the opposite. And when called on, you turn around and say you don't want to be put out more than you already are.

So, all taunts aside, be a man and be upfront with her. It may hurt some for the both of you at first but honesty is the best policy.

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willed
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Mar 12, 2005, 05:23 AM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
see, i dont know that because i dont have that experience, i want to remain friends but everyone says it will not eb possible, i dont know that, i dont have enough experience to know that. why cant we remain friends?
You can't remain friends because you're going to dump her. This is just a guess, but I think she'll probably not be too pleased about that. It is possible to become friends with an ex-girlfriend again, but it depends on how you broke up, and crucially requires quite a lot of time.

I have a friend who'd booked a trip to South Africa with his girlfriend before deciding to end it. He had to go through with the trip. Said it was absolutely terrible. Had to act all the time, and feel like a bastard (mainly because that's what he was being).

So yeah, talk to her about it, then go travelling on your own.
     
E's Lil Theorem
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Mar 12, 2005, 02:35 PM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
.. the only way to find your one, true love is to meet everyone there is. if you are in love with your partner, how would you ever know it couldnt get better? ...
Oh, young grasshopper, how naive you are. This "the grass is always greener somewhere else" attitude will only hurt those you are with and will ultimately cause you to end up alone. You ask how would you know if someone is the one? I'd say get your head out your butt and you might see it.

Oi, oi, I'm willing to bet that you'll miss this girl like there's no tomorrow a month after you break up with her.

Again, good luck with it all.
     
sugar_coated
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Mar 12, 2005, 04:23 PM
 
Be who you are.
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-/
     
turtle777
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Mar 13, 2005, 01:18 AM
 
Originally posted by sugar_coated:
Be who you are.
Oh STFU !

-t
     
turtle777
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Mar 13, 2005, 01:21 AM
 
Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
you want me to convince you that i love her? our time together and before we met each other would take too long to write in order for me to explain and prove that i love her. i dont want to end our relationship, i could see myself spendong the rest of my life with her had i met her a few years dopwn the road when i am ready to commit to a marriage. at this point in my life (where i am only 20 years of age) i am not ready for that kind of commitment. i often say to myself that i wish i had met her later in my life so that i would be ready to commit to her. i wish it had happened that way but it did not so this is the way i must deal with it. after the string of shitty boyfriends she had before me (drug dealers and the such), she needs me as much as i need her but i cant do it right now. its too complicated as any relationship involving love is. the only way to find your one, true love is to meet everyone there is. if you are in love with your partner, how would you ever know it couldnt get better? i am not saying that i am selfish and want the best for myself, i am saying that no one knows, it will never be known. most people date for a long time before they settle down, she is my first and i am not ready to do that, i need to explore more, find other people and myslef. call me selfish and spoiled, i dont care, its not true. i love her but i wish it had been later that i met her. that is all.
Ok, bottom line: you want to fsck around before you get married.

Well (must resist urge to post my personal opinion on that), it seems like you are throwing away a great girl for some unfulfilled wild dreams. You'll kick your stupid ass later for that, but you need to go thru that because it doesn't seem like you are a book learner...

-t
     
The Wolf
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Mar 13, 2005, 11:58 AM
 
I don't know if it's too late to post this or not, but here it goes... The one thing that nobody has mentioned here, is that there is no love like your first love. Before you actually experience that feeling of getting kicked square in the gut by a horse for the first time - a.k.a. finding out your first love is ****ing someone else - you probably have this very naive feeling of invincibility. Finding out that your ex is no longer in love with you - and that there is no going back - is a feeling so intense that I am not able to put it in words right now. If/when this happens to a person, it seems like he is never the same again. You become more guarded, cynical, less trusting, less open, etc... Most likely it will effect your future relationships even though you will try your best to not let it.

If you still feel like you want to be friends, it probably means you still care for her. If you still care for her, don't **** it up. I'm sure you will not care for her so much when she's hobin someone else's knob. Someone once told me, don't treat your girlfriend like your best friend. I didn't understand that for a long time but now I do. It means, you don't need to tell her everything that happens in your day - including everytime you fart, everytime you see a hot chick on the train, every fleeting bird-brained thought that runs through your head, etc...

Just because you don't want to get married 'right now' it doesn't mean you're not completely in love with her. Unless she gives you an ultimatum about marriage or a break up, you don't need to break up with her.

P.S. whatever you do, don't tell her on the phone that you don't want to date her anymore and then expect to go and spend time together in Europe as friends.
     
budster101
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Mar 14, 2005, 03:15 PM
 
Originally posted by Jens Peter:

And all Americans are fat and loves the Bush administration
?
     
turtle777
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Mar 14, 2005, 03:19 PM
 
Originally posted by Jens Peter:
And all Americans are fat and loves the Bush administration
Aah, Capt. Obvious !

*SCNR*

-t
     
TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 15, 2005, 04:27 AM
 
boy is my face red. I called her the other day, it didn't go horrible, she was jsut disappointed but understood. Obviously she doesnt feel comfortable to travel with me so I am SOL there, but that's fine. she said that we can still be friends but just not yet. i let my hopes get in the way of seeing reality. lesson learned.
     
Randman
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Mar 15, 2005, 04:33 AM
 
In the long run, you did the right thing, for both of you. You can still try and enjoy your trip but if you run into her, she'll boil your bunny or shag a mate ... or both/some combination of both.

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TubaMuffins  (op)
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Mar 22, 2005, 04:48 PM
 
well its been over a week since i broke up with her and it has gone much better than i expected, we are still not traveling together but we have remained in contact and she understands completely. further proof that honesty is the best policy. i know most of you don't care but i felt that i had to clear my name after many of you called me selfish and spoiled. whatever, i dont care. thanks for the support anyway.
     
jebjeb
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Mar 23, 2005, 07:53 AM
 
Mate, I came into this late but you did the right thing by the sounds of what you were initially thinking. I can see both sides of the coin in that sometimes I wished I played around a bit more before I met my wife (when I was was 20) but I know that, in hindsight, it would have been a crap decision to have broken it off. Its a natural male thought I think and if you feel strongly enough about it then it must be the right thing to do.

On another note, I don't know who long (and how much longer she would be away) you have been doing the long distance relationship but my thoughts on this type of thing is that you should have broken it off in a nice way before she left.

About 18 months after we first met, my wife was going to spend a year in Germany for Uni. We decided to break it off before she went and see how it ended up. We were "technically" not together for about 3 months and then decided that we felt strong enough to get back together and deal with the long-distance thing. Luckily I was able to fly over there every month or two and we spoke every day on the phone.

If you wanted to break up then it was the right thing to do at this "early" stage.

Next thing. Make sure you do still come over this way. I was 19 when I first moved to the UK. I travelled quite a bit through Europe and there are always people you can hook up with. I don't really know anything about you but as long as you are not arrogant, expect people to speak your language or say everything is different or bad compared to home then you will be excepted very well. "Natives" will befriend you and love to show you around (especially if you get off the beaten track) and you will bump in to heaps of other English speakers (Brits, Aussies, Kiwis, South Africans) who will probably be more than happy for you to hang a long for a while.

Don't be scared of the trip. Make the most of it! Depending on what you are like at home, use it as an chance to be completely different to what you are normally like. Travelling really equals people out. All the things like popularity, looks, nerdiness go out the window and you will see such different groups of people together.

Have fun and make the most of it!

I will let you steal my motto for these sort of things (relationships, travelling etc) if you want. It doesn't mean you don't have to work at it or be complelty oblivious to it all but it still works.

"What ever happens, happens."
     
   
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