[doctorkeyser]

I thought you guys would all like to see this. I know it's really changed my view.

"Dear Sarah,

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to write you sooner. As you might imagine, things over here have made it difficult to write home often. We have really long lines to use a computer here.

What can I say about Iraq? It is a dangerous place right now. But deep in my soul I know that we are doing the right thing. How are things looking on the news at home, I wonder? All the guys keep talking about how many men we've lost, but that just serves to harden our resolve.

I want to tell you about something that's really been bothering me lately. The other night, a buddy of mine who was doing a recon mission came back with a video tape of John Kerry doing something I simply couldn't believe. He was firing RPGs into our Humvees all over the place. We've even got him on tape saluting the guys before he wasted them with a Kalashnikov. My buddy tells me that Kerry killed at least 15 Marines all by himself. He was even wearing a rag on his head, with all 3 purple hearts pinned to his shirt. Bastard.

Of course, when President Bush heard about all this, you know he was fixin' to make it right. He flew over here last night under cover of darkness. This morning he was out with the boys hunting ragheads and looking for Kerry (the President thinks he's hiding out with Bin Laden now). I'll tell you, the President is a war hero. I don't know what they teach these guys when they're on sabbatical from Texas Air National Guard duty, but the President is the real deal. He even showed my squad leader Kyle how to rig up a focus-fire explosive device from the parts of a flashlight and a little bit of Pop Rocks candy.

I hope the folks at home aren't criticizing any aspect of what we're doing over here, Sarah. You simply can't criticize anything at all when the nation is at war. That would be turning your back on America, just like that bitch mother I heard about from that Fahrenheit 9/11 movie. I mean, I know she lost a kid, and all, but that doesn't give her the right to feel sorry for herself and speak out against what's going on over here. Freedom of speech is not free, and we shouldn't use it when we're a war. Period. I respect her loss and everything, but my Christian compassion makes me think that she should rot in Hell for what she's done. If she were here, I'd shoot her myself.

Spread the word to everyone at home that I'm doing fine, and remind them not to say anything bad about anything ever, ever again, ever. God is on our side on this one, Sarah. With President Bush himself out here trying to bring peace to the ragheads, I'm sure God's will be done soon.

Love,

Tyler"

Be sure to forward this to everyone you know. People need to know how things are over there.

[angaq0k]

Originally posted by doctorkeyser:
I thought you guys would all like to see this. I know it's really changed my view.

"Dear Sarah,

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to write you sooner. As you might imagine, things over here have made it difficult to write home often. We have really long lines to use a computer here.

What can I say about Iraq? It is a dangerous place right now. But deep in my soul I know that we are doing the right thing. How are things looking on the news at home, I wonder? All the guys keep talking about how many men we've lost, but that just serves to harden our resolve.

I want to tell you about something that's really been bothering me lately. The other night, a buddy of mine who was doing a recon mission came back with a video tape of John Kerry doing something I simply couldn't believe. He was firing RPGs into our Humvees all over the place. We've even got him on tape saluting the guys before he wasted them with a Kalashnikov. My buddy tells me that Kerry killed at least 15 Marines all by himself. He was even wearing a rag on his head, with all 3 purple hearts pinned to his shirt. Bastard.

Of course, when President Bush heard about all this, you know he was fixin' to make it right. He flew over here last night under cover of darkness. This morning he was out with the boys hunting ragheads and looking for Kerry (the President thinks he's hiding out with Bin Laden now). I'll tell you, the President is a war hero. I don't know what they teach these guys when they're on sabbatical from Texas Air National Guard duty, but the President is the real deal. He even showed my squad leader Kyle how to rig up a focus-fire explosive device from the parts of a flashlight and a little bit of Pop Rocks candy.

I hope the folks at home aren't criticizing any aspect of what we're doing over here, Sarah. You simply can't criticize anything at all when the nation is at war. That would be turning your back on America, just like that bitch mother I heard about from that Fahrenheit 9/11 movie. I mean, I know she lost a kid, and all, but that doesn't give her the right to feel sorry for herself and speak out against what's going on over here. Freedom of speech is not free, and we shouldn't use it when we're a war. Period. I respect her loss and everything, but my Christian compassion makes me think that she should rot in Hell for what she's done. If she were here, I'd shoot her myself.

Spread the word to everyone at home that I'm doing fine, and remind them not to say anything bad about anything ever, ever again, ever. God is on our side on this one, Sarah. With President Bush himself out here trying to bring peace to the ragheads, I'm sure God's will be done soon.

Love,

Tyler"

Be sure to forward this to everyone you know. People need to know how things are over there.

LOL

Obviously, a "good Christian"

I respect her loss and everything, but my Christian compassion makes me think that she should rot in Hell for what she's done. If she were here, I'd shoot her myself.

I am trying to understand the purpose of that text, and it does not come to mind, since it seems to be total nonsense...

So glad I don't have spam anymore!

[BRussell]

That funkin' Kerry, killing our Marines like that.

I'm almost tempted to not vote for him after hearing he's a murderer and a traitor, but since the economy is doing poorly, I guess I still will.

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally posted by angaq0k:
I am trying to understand the purpose of that text, and it does not come to mind, since it seems to be total nonsense...

So glad I don't have spam anymore!

I take it as a spoof on that "letter from Iraq" thread that moki posted a while ago that said pretty much the same thing.

Comparing the two, I'd say that reality is the better satire at the moment - even if unintentionally. Of course, moki's refusal to call for the impeachment he so clearly demanded a year ago is still the crown on that.

-s*

[angaq0k]

Originally posted by BRussell:
That funkin' Kerry, killing our Marines like that.

I'm almost tempted to not vote for him after hearing he's a murderer and a traitor, but since the economy is doing poorly, I guess I still will.

LOL!

After all, someone has to run it right?