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No insult to the Beatles, but this song is infectious. Listen for the chorus toward the middle. Kids came home from camp with this song and it has staying power.
Location: Iowa, how long can this be? Does it really ruin the left column spacing?
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Aug 22, 2018, 10:36 AM
Originally Posted by subego
Test notes: attempt to isolate whether success of 005w is due to repetition, or Paul McCartney.
Weird sidenote, in the last couple of weeks I've started telling Alexa to play the 70s Rock station, and this song came up. I'd heard it before but had no idea who it was, so I asked Alexa. That's when I learned that it's "Band on the Run," not "Man on the Run" like I'd always thought.
To: All Site Personnel From: Site Director Dietz Re: [URGENT] Revised Safety Protocol
In light of the results of experiment 211, all personnel are required to carry an M-322 BREAD THROWER, AUTOMATIC at all times. This has been shown to be highly effective at delaying infection.
Further, as outlined in Directive 1-665-12, we will be issuing all personnel a three (3) gram dosage of M-4119 SUGAR, BUTTERFLY, to be used with extreme prejudice.
Excerpts from Test Log 512 Researcher: Dr. M. Watanabe Subject: █. █. ████
Test 512g “Poker Face” Test result: Subject requests researcher self-insert [REDACTED].
Test 512j: “We Didn’t Start the Fire” Test result: Subject elaborately describes what would occur if research protocol did not require confinement by means of arm and leg restraints.
Test 512p: “강남스타일” Test result: Subject claims extensive knowledge from the previous evening of researcher’s biological mother.
Test notes:Can we hire this guy? - Dr. Watanabe
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Last edited by subego; Sep 14, 2018 at 03:55 AM.
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17:10 bRox: It’s baaaaaaack.
17:10 DAllen: Seriously?
17:11 bRox: Yup.
17:11 DAllen: Where’s the memo?
17:11 bRox: No memo.
17:11 DAllen: He just
17:11 DAllen: put it back?
17:12 bRox: Yup.
17:12 DAllen: Holy shit
17:13 Clint: As if you didn’t know this was going to happen. It shouldn’t have been pulled. Dietz was an asshole, but he wasn’t *wrong*.
17:13 DAllen: In a MONTH!
17:13 Clint: Carter was pandering. I’m surprised you fell for it.
17:14 Clint: A MONTH? Are you out of your mind?
17:14 DAllen: this is NOT going to go over well
17:14 bRox: I’m... with Dave on this one.
17:14 DAllen has left chat
17:15 Clint: Oh FFS
17:15 bRox: Are you going to stop him?
17:15 Clint: Stop what?
17:15 Clint: You don’t mean
17:15 Wolls: Did you guys hear?
17:16 bRox has left chat
17:16 Clint has left chat
17:16 Wolls: It’s back!
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Last edited by subego; Nov 2, 2018 at 09:16 PM.
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Baseline achieved 82% infection rate. This surpasses all strains except for 117-3 (“Proud Mary”). Suggest moving forward with Project I Hate Ike.
All infected subjects terminated.
Results of test 212N: Project Jersey Boys
Baseline achieved 75% infection rate. Wide variance in infection by gender noted for strain 212-7 (Walk Like a Man”), and strain 212-10 (“Big Girls Don’t Cry”). 36% of infected subjects display hemorrhage of the ear due to high frequencies.
Test 217G:
Test subject group forced to debate merits of "I shot the sheriff" vs "I found the law and the law won". Mashup ensued of solely chorus elements. Carlson proceeded to autotune the session.
Can we monetize?
Holding off on terminating subjects until above question is answered.
The junior staff feel that some kind of morale-booster would really liven the mood down here in the bunker. We were thinking of putting on a show - Do you prefer Hairspray, or LIttle Shop?
<cue 'Welcome to the 60s' on endless repeat, complete with tap dancing and mashed potato>
So, the gag I was setting up was the Yeti milk granted immunity to Christmas music, but I never came up with a satisfying way to deliver the punchline.
sadtrombone.mp3
Oh... Dietz and Carter are getting married. That’s why Dietz disappeared.