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Punch Lines...
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wolfen
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Jul 27, 2005, 12:42 PM
 
Here's one to a tasteless joke...

"Then I'll have Coke."



Got any good punchlines?
Do you want forgiveness or respect?
     
dreilly1
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Jul 27, 2005, 12:43 PM
 
Man who has four balls.... cannot walk.

Member of the the Stupid Brigade! (If you see Sponsored Links in any of my posts, please PM me!)
     
Zenbone
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Jul 27, 2005, 12:54 PM
 
Abcess makes the fart go "honda".

aka BlueSky
     
cjrivera
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Jul 27, 2005, 12:54 PM
 
"Poof" ... and turned him into a tampon.
     
dlefebvre
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Jul 27, 2005, 01:15 PM
 
I wanted a 12" penis, not a 12" pianist.
     
budster101
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Jul 27, 2005, 01:19 PM
 
rectum....... damn near broke'm
     
dreilly1
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Jul 27, 2005, 01:24 PM
 
It was the bottom of the ninth, the bassists were loaded, and the score was tied.

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residentEvil
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Jul 27, 2005, 01:36 PM
 
One, if you slice him thin enough.
     
Hugi
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Jul 27, 2005, 01:51 PM
 
You shag one bloody sheep and you're marked for life.
     
budster101
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Jul 27, 2005, 02:03 PM
 
1. A stick
2. 26 sizes larger than an A Bra
3. The taste
4. Anyone can Roast Beef
5. Penicillin
6. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.




Questions are below.












1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
2. What is a zebra?
3. What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
4. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
5. What should you give a man that has everything?
6. What do Disney World and Viagra have in common?
     
historylme
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Jul 27, 2005, 02:09 PM
 
I'll have what she's having!
     
cjrivera
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Jul 27, 2005, 02:32 PM
 
One's a sick duck, I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.

(Sean Connery on SNL-Celebrity Jeopardy)
     
AB^2=BCxAC
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Jul 27, 2005, 02:32 PM
 
"You're thor? I'm tho thor from all your hammering I'm gonna need ithe!"
"I stand accused, just like you, for being born without a silver spoon." Richard Ashcroft
     
Oisín
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Jul 27, 2005, 02:36 PM
 
42.
     
Zenbone
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Jul 27, 2005, 02:52 PM
 
One of them are bunch of little cunning runts.




(What's the difference between a girl's track team and a tribe of pygmys?)

aka BlueSky
     
dreilly1
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Jul 27, 2005, 02:57 PM
 
One's a scum-sucking bottom-dweller, and the other's a fish.

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micahgartman
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Jul 27, 2005, 03:54 PM
 
The prick is on the outside.
     
ghporter
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Jul 27, 2005, 04:02 PM
 
My mom says that with what I have, I can have all of those I want!

Bud-that was great, thanks!

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
historylme
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Jul 27, 2005, 04:10 PM
 
Originally Posted by wolfen
Here's one to a tasteless joke...

"Then I'll have Coke."
I just saw these scene and it such a great one. I love that movie.
     
dlefebvre
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Jul 27, 2005, 05:43 PM
 
What do you mant me to do, shove them up my @ss?
     
Chuckit
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Jul 27, 2005, 06:05 PM
 
"And that's why the French don't bathe."
Chuck
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"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
     
WhaMe
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Jul 27, 2005, 06:17 PM
 
No, I said buoys.
     
mojo2
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Jul 27, 2005, 06:45 PM
 
PING PONG BALLS!? I thought you said KING KONG'S BALLS!!!
     
mojo2
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Jul 27, 2005, 06:49 PM
 
That's what I've been tryin to tell you, kid! There aint no stinkin chocolate!
     
dlefebvre
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Jul 27, 2005, 07:59 PM
 
...They don't wear hats? Damn! I ran over a nun.
     
Cubeoid
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Jul 27, 2005, 09:02 PM
 
Bam!
     
ManOfSteal
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Jul 27, 2005, 09:53 PM
 
To get to the other side!
     
finboy
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Jul 27, 2005, 10:00 PM
 
Originally Posted by ManOfSteal
To get to the other side!
No, no, no. She's not "nuts" -- I said that she was f*cking Goofy.
     
mojo2
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Jul 28, 2005, 12:26 AM
 
"NO, no" the penguin says "It's just ice cream"
     
Chuckit
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Jul 28, 2005, 12:34 AM
 
Originally Posted by mojo2
"NO, no" the penguin says "It's just ice cream"
Ha. That was, like, the only joke this girl I used to know would ever tell.
Chuck
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"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
     
besson3c
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Jul 28, 2005, 02:04 AM
 
     
mojo2
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Jul 28, 2005, 07:01 AM
 
Originally Posted by Chuckit
Ha. That was, like, the only joke this girl I used to know would ever tell.
Was she a beautiful, petite, brunette flight attendant named Chrissy? She's the one who told me the joke.
     
mojo2
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Jul 28, 2005, 07:05 AM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c
I really don't get why people demean Bob Saget. He's a GREAT guy who's had to confront some serious family health issues and has done it with dignity. He's very intelligent. He can perform stand-up comedy. Had TWO HIT TV shows running SIMULTANEOUSLY on ABC. And he is a director/producer.

I don't get it. Where's the joke?
     
ghporter
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Jul 28, 2005, 09:52 AM
 
I unserstand Bob Saget is filthy doing standup. Is this true? In what direction is he filthy?

One more punchline:
You may go. I didn't realize you were a police officer too.

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
Chuckit
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Jul 28, 2005, 10:06 AM
 
Originally Posted by mojo2
I really don't get why people demean Bob Saget. He's a GREAT guy who's had to confront some serious family health issues and has done it with dignity. He's very intelligent. He can perform stand-up comedy. Had TWO HIT TV shows running SIMULTANEOUSLY on ABC. And he is a director/producer.

I don't get it. Where's the joke?
What you glaze over is the fact that both of his hit TV shows were complete hokum. And his character on Full House was so schlocky that even the piece-of-schlock show felt like it needed to make fun of him for it. And now, more than 10 years after it ended, that character is still the only thing most people know he's done. Thus, in most people's minds, he's a punch-line.
Chuck
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"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
     
besson3c
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Jul 28, 2005, 12:21 PM
 
edit: ignore
     
besson3c
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Jul 28, 2005, 12:25 PM
 
Originally Posted by mojo2
I really don't get why people demean Bob Saget. He's a GREAT guy who's had to confront some serious family health issues and has done it with dignity. He's very intelligent. He can perform stand-up comedy. Had TWO HIT TV shows running SIMULTANEOUSLY on ABC. And he is a director/producer.

I don't get it. Where's the joke?
I love Bob Saget, I'm his biggest fan! My picture was in tribute.... well, sarcastic tribute of his America's Funniest Home Videos joke style, but I honestly love this style *because* it is so bad.
     
residentEvil
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Jul 28, 2005, 12:55 PM
 
Originally Posted by ghporter
I unserstand Bob Saget is filthy doing standup. Is this true? In what direction is he filthy?

One more punchline:
You may go. I didn't realize you were a police officer too.

Yup, he is. This came up in another thread. Search if you must
     
mojo2
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Jul 28, 2005, 10:17 PM
 
This guy goes into a bar in Northern Canada and orders a white wine.

All the hunters and trappers sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some
pitiful new age Quebecoisie from Montreal.

The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from the States."

The bartender says, "What do you do in the States?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender says, "A taxi-dermist? Tell me now, what the devil is
a taxi-dermist? Do you drive a taxi?"

"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."

The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us!"
     
   
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