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What to do about these sneaky telemarketers?
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Landos Mustache
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Aug 29, 2006, 11:58 AM
 
In the past month I have had the same damn "Vacations Tours" tele-marketers call me and ask me to take a survey.

The worst part about it is they are pushy as hell.

The tricky part about it is that they call using a VOIP line and there number only shows up as : 10000000000 with no name.

The first time they called me it was an Indian woman I said I didn't want to take the survey. They kept insisting even though I said politely NO 3-4 times and then clearly said "put me on your do not call list".

The second time, same thing but an Indian man. I said no again and they refuse to take that as an answer. I yelled my head off at him and said this is the second time I have ask to be taken off the list.

Today another call, sounded like the same as the first lady. I was overly polite and said "what is the name of the company? She said "Vacation tours". I said what city are you in? She reluctantly said "Toronto". Then I said can I have your number please? And the #$*&! hung up on me.

So I called my phone company and ask if it is possible to block bullshit numbers like "100" or "10000000000" and they said they would get back to me but I don't have high hopes.

What else can I do to get these bastards?

"Hello, what have we here?
     
Dakar
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:00 PM
 
Hang up.
     
turtle777
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:00 PM
 


-t
( Last edited by turtle777; Aug 29, 2006 at 12:12 PM. )
     
SirCastor
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:04 PM
 
Get yourself put on the national do not call list, or whatever it's called. I would encourage you to continue to be polite. Say 'No thank you, goodbye.' Give them only a moment to be kind and say goodbye. If not, just hang up.
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Landos Mustache  (op)
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:07 PM
 
Originally Posted by SirCastor
Get yourself put on the national do not call list, or whatever it's called. I would encourage you to continue to be polite. Say 'No thank you, goodbye.' Give them only a moment to be kind and say goodbye. If not, just hang up.
Not sure if Canada has a national do not call list but since:

a) I was polite every time they called
b) Ask to be put on THEIR do not call list 3x already
c) Go out of their way to hide their number and identity

Hanging up doesn't help as they just call back which is the last thing I want on Saturday morning at 8:30.

"Hello, what have we here?
     
Dakar
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:11 PM
 
Originally Posted by Landos Mustache
Hanging up doesn't help as they just call back which is the last thing I want on Saturday morning at 8:30.
I understand.

Though this the exact reason why I don't keep a phone in my bed room.
     
OptimusPrime
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:24 PM
 
Talk to them. Keep asking them to say things louder. Ask what tehy're wearing. IF they sound cute just have a chat. Or come up with demented stories. One time a telemarketer called me about lawncare, and I gave her this sob story that I was in a car accident with my dad, and he died, and I lost my legs, and my mom had to sell the house so we don't have a lawn anymore and we live in a crummy apartment.

I love messing with those people. Just say the most demented stuff ever.

If it's a credit card company, ask if Jesus accepts that brand. Then ask them if he approves of it... this one lady said "well you could buy good things for people, so that's good, so jesus must like it" so then I asked about purchasing things to hurt people with, and she wasn't sure if Jesus would accept it anymore.
     
turtle777
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:25 PM
 
You could try this.
I had a lot of fun with it.

anti-telemarketing EGBG counterscript

-t
     
CharlesS
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:31 PM
 
If the calls are coming in on a land phone line (as it usually is with telemarketers - for some reason I almost never get those calls on my cell), then you've finally found a use for the built-in modem in your Mac. Just have it hooked up to your phone line ahead of time, and tell the telemarketer "Sorry, I'm not interested, but I have a friend here who might be. Would you like to talk to him?" Then, you fire up ZTerm, type "ATA", and hit Return.

Typing "fax answer" in the Terminal might also work, but I can't try it because I don't have a land phone line at the moment.

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qnxde
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Aug 29, 2006, 12:53 PM
 
Next time they call start having phone sex with the operator, and post it here. I doubt they'll bother you again.

You can't eat all those hamburgers, you hear me you ridiculous man?
     
OptimusPrime
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Aug 29, 2006, 01:05 PM
 
Originally Posted by CharlesS
If the calls are coming in on a land phone line (as it usually is with telemarketers - for some reason I almost never get those calls on my cell), then you've finally found a use for the built-in modem in your Mac. Just have it hooked up to your phone line ahead of time, and tell the telemarketer "Sorry, I'm not interested, but I have a friend here who might be. Would you like to talk to him?" Then, you fire up ZTerm, type "ATA", and hit Return.

Typing "fax answer" in the Terminal might also work, but I can't try it because I don't have a land phone line at the moment.
What does this do?
     
Landos Mustache  (op)
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Aug 29, 2006, 01:06 PM
 
Originally Posted by OptimusPrime
What does this do?
I think it locks up the line.

"Hello, what have we here?
     
qnxde
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Aug 29, 2006, 01:12 PM
 
Won't that just send a standard carrier noise down the line?

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CharlesS
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Aug 29, 2006, 01:27 PM
 
Originally Posted by qnxde
Won't that just send a standard carrier noise down the line?
It makes the modem emit a really annoying high-pitched squeal at the telemarketer.

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Dakar
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Aug 29, 2006, 01:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by CharlesS
It makes the modem emit a really annoying high-pitched squeal at the telemarketer.
Alternately, one can just use their wife, if present.
     
jckalen
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Aug 29, 2006, 02:14 PM
 
I've tried this a couple of times...

Stop them short and say "Before we continue, I will need your billing address and a purchase order number". When they ask why, tell them you work from home as a telemarketer quality control consultant and that they will be billed for your time at a flat rate of $78.00 per hour.

If that doesn't chase them off, THEN ask what they are wearing.

Other fun things to try...

be the loudest, most annoying mouth breather ever.

Speazeek like you is da baddest mofo homie in the hizzy

Give the phone to a small child.

Start sobbing uncontrollably and say your ex left you for a telemarketer
It looks just like a telefunken' U-47 - Zappa
     
DeathToWindows
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Aug 29, 2006, 02:19 PM
 
Bitch 'em out.

Don't try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
     
Landos Mustache  (op)
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Aug 29, 2006, 02:21 PM
 
Originally Posted by DeathToWindows
Bitch 'em out.
I did that on call #2.

They called a 3rd time 2 weeks later.

"Hello, what have we here?
     
Doofy
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Aug 29, 2006, 02:44 PM
 
Don't actually speak to them. Just grunt, as in an extreme death metal song.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Chuckit
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Aug 29, 2006, 02:52 PM
 
Tell them you're with the mob and you're very disappointed with their lack of respect for your family.
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cjrivera
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Aug 29, 2006, 03:16 PM
 
something like this perhaps?

Crazy telemarketer call
"It's weird the way 'finger puppets' sounds ok as a noun..."
     
bowwowman
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Aug 29, 2006, 03:51 PM
 
Originally Posted by Landos Mustache
Not sure if Canada has a national do not call list but since:

a) I was polite every time they called
b) Ask to be put on THEIR do not call list 3x already
c) Go out of their way to hide their number and identity

You really need to check with the Canadian authorities (FCC/FTC equivalants) to see if they have a do not call registry. In most states here in the US, if you follow certain procedures, you can file a legal claim against the callers and be awarded $750 + court costs for the 1st offense, $1500 + court costs for the 2nd offense, and $5000 + court costs for a 3rd offense...........
Personally I find it hilarious that you have the hots for my gramma. Especially seeins how she is 3x your age, and makes your Brittney-Spears-wannabe 30-something wife look like a rag doll who went thru WWIII with a burning stick of dynamite up her a** :)
     
Landos Mustache  (op)
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Aug 29, 2006, 03:54 PM
 
Originally Posted by bowwowman
You really need to check with the Canadian authorities (FCC/FTC equivalants) to see if they have a do not call registry. In most states here in the US, if you follow certain procedures, you can file a legal claim against the callers and be awarded $750 + court costs for the 1st offense, $1500 + court costs for the 2nd offense, and $5000 + court costs for a 3rd offense...........
Ya I know, that is my plan but the problem is since they are hiding the number and hanging up when I ask for their number I can't sue even if I wanted to.

"Hello, what have we here?
     
Y3a
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Aug 29, 2006, 04:06 PM
 
maybe transfer their call to a foreign expensive exchange?
     
memento
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Aug 29, 2006, 04:40 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy
Don't actually speak to them. Just grunt, as in an extreme death metal song.
"Destroy your ego. Trust your brain. Destroy your beliefs. Trust your divinity." -Danny Carey

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Monique
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Aug 29, 2006, 04:40 PM
 
The first time Telus telemarketers called me, I said no and was polite. By the fourth time, I said if you ever ever call me again I will make your life so miserable that you are going to regret it for a very long time.

Once I had a Jehovah witness coming to my door and told him, I am going to get my gun now and if you are here when I get back I am going to hurt you.

Be calm and threaten them like you mean it.
     
Chuckit
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Aug 29, 2006, 04:50 PM
 
I somehow believe you meant it, Monique.
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turtle777
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Aug 29, 2006, 04:55 PM
 
Originally Posted by Monique
By the fourth time, I said if you ever ever call me again I will make your life so miserable that you are going to regret it for a very long time.
Ok, I'm gonna pop the obvious question:

HOW ?
How exactly do you make a telemarketers life miserable ?
Yelling ? Calling him names ? Grunting ? Laughing ? Praying for him ?

-t
     
Monique
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Aug 29, 2006, 04:58 PM
 
Originally Posted by what_the_heck
Ok, I'm gonna pop the obvious question:

HOW ?
How exactly do you make a telemarketers life miserable ?
Yelling ? Calling him names ? Grunting ? Laughing ? Praying for him ?

-t
By using profanity even them have never heard before. Like you fu... little bit.. if you ever call here again I will find you and hurt you, your family, and I know where you work and where you live, you fu.. lit. cu.., etc. You continue to swear until they hang up and believe me they will.
     
turtle777
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Aug 29, 2006, 05:03 PM
 
Originally Posted by Monique
By using profanity even them have never heard before. Like you fu... little bit.. if you ever call here again I will find you and hurt you, your family, and I know where you work and where you live, you fu.. lit. cu.., etc. You continue to swear until they hang up and believe me they will.


Can I have your number? I'd like to laugh a bit.

-t
     
- - e r i k - -
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Aug 29, 2006, 07:27 PM
 
Get rid of your landline.

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Aug 29, 2006, 07:28 PM
 
I let out the biggest, wettest, most saturated and disgusting belch I can muster-up.
"Everything's so clear to me now: I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant. Get it? And he knows it.
That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it. Yeah. Before he let's loose the marmosets on us."
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alligator
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Aug 29, 2006, 07:36 PM
 
I purchased the Phone Butler. British accent, polite voice, and funny as hell!

"Pardon me, this is the phone butler. The residents of this household must respectfully decline your inquiry. Kindly place this number on your do not call list. Good day."

I've had telemarketers actually call back to hear it a second time.
     
mitchell_pgh
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Aug 29, 2006, 07:45 PM
 
While many of these things are funny, I just don't bother.

Telemarketer: May I speak with Mr. Mitchell_pgh
Me: May I ask who's calling?
Telemarketer: We have an amazing offer for...
Me: I'm not interested, have a nice day <click>

That's as far as I ever get.
     
hickey
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Aug 29, 2006, 07:52 PM
 
it's always fun to mess with them. In fact, it makes me want to get a landline so I can get more telemarketers.
     
ghporter
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Aug 29, 2006, 08:05 PM
 
They used to bother me all the time-until I got my number on the National Do Not Call list. Canada really should protect its citizens from slime like that with something similar. Anyway, the caller would, I finally figured out, take advantage of the fact that I have decades of experience being polite on the phone-and wouldn't let me politely hang up on him.

I finally figured this out and now if I get such a call, I say "NO" and just hang up. Don't let them take that advantage of you.

By the way, I like mitchell_pgh's method-if they "have an offer" for anyone, they can talk to dial tone. On the other hand, my 19 year old son wants to ask if they have balloons. Red ones? I like red ones. How high will they float? Have you seen that? Are you SURE? (My son is obviously seriously disturbed when it comes to telemarketers. )

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Doofy
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Aug 29, 2006, 08:20 PM
 
Here's another one:

"I can't understand your accent, can you speak slower please".
They speak slower...
...repeat your statement.

And just keep doing that. Do it with everyone. Even folks from the same town as yourself who have exactly the same accent.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
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Eriamjh
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Aug 29, 2006, 09:55 PM
 
Aren't there some great recordings of some guy who would totally turn the call around and ask the telemarketers what they were wearing (if they were women), start to hit on them, talk about dead people, etc?

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Y3a
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Aug 29, 2006, 10:07 PM
 
inturrupt them within the first moment, and tell tehm you'll be right back. Just set the phone down and go away for a while.
     
USB HUB
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Aug 29, 2006, 10:25 PM
 
Originally Posted by what_the_heck


-t
Did it. Almost got sued... ...best time of my life
     
James L
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Aug 29, 2006, 11:03 PM
 
Originally Posted by Landos Mustache
In the past month I have had the same damn "Vacations Tours" tele-marketers call me and ask me to take a survey.

The worst part about it is they are pushy as hell.

The tricky part about it is that they call using a VOIP line and there number only shows up as : 10000000000 with no name.

The first time they called me it was an Indian woman I said I didn't want to take the survey. They kept insisting even though I said politely NO 3-4 times and then clearly said "put me on your do not call list".

The second time, same thing but an Indian man. I said no again and they refuse to take that as an answer. I yelled my head off at him and said this is the second time I have ask to be taken off the list.

Today another call, sounded like the same as the first lady. I was overly polite and said "what is the name of the company? She said "Vacation tours". I said what city are you in? She reluctantly said "Toronto". Then I said can I have your number please? And the #$*&! hung up on me.

So I called my phone company and ask if it is possible to block bullshit numbers like "100" or "10000000000" and they said they would get back to me but I don't have high hopes.

What else can I do to get these bastards?
google crtc and telemarketer... that should get you what you need.
     
mydog8mymac
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Aug 29, 2006, 11:10 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar
. . . this the exact reason why I don't keep a phone in my bed room.
Wise words for several reasons.

I was a telemarketer for a week in college — believe me, it's a relief for the caller if you politely hang up at the first chance. They will just dial the next person on their list and forget about you.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Aug 30, 2006, 12:31 AM
 
Originally Posted by cjrivera
something like this perhaps?

Crazy telemarketer call
Wow. Why the hell did he stay on the line that long?

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mitchell_pgh
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Aug 30, 2006, 12:46 AM
 
Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey
Wow. Why the hell did he stay on the line that long?
Simply hilarious. While I don't like telemarketers... ummm... I don't put them up with rapists and murderers.
     
Landos Mustache  (op)
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Aug 30, 2006, 10:32 AM
 
I checked and in Canada it is the law that telemarketers must have their name or number display when they call, if not they must provide it to you when you ask. The ones calling me do neither.

Also, if I say "Put me on your do not call list" they must give me a unique registration number and not call me for 3 years.

"Hello, what have we here?
     
turtle777
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Aug 30, 2006, 10:50 AM
 
Yeah, as if a telemarketer calling from India via VoIP would give a sh!t...

-t
     
Landos Mustache  (op)
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Aug 30, 2006, 11:12 AM
 
Originally Posted by what_the_heck
Yeah, as if a telemarketer calling from India via VoIP would give a sh!t...

-t

Well they said they were located in TORONTO but that might be bull.

Either way playing with them, having phone sex with them and acting stupid isn't going to solve anything.

"Hello, what have we here?
     
   
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