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Choose a Religeon
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Buck_Naked
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Silicon Valley The home of empty office buildings
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Nov 30, 2002, 03:35 PM
 
I'm not sure which Church I should join.
I have looked into some of the Pros and Cons of each choice.



Or


Anyone here a member of either church?
     
PorscheBunny
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Nov 30, 2002, 03:42 PM
 
I smell flamebait!

*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE BITCH HAS LEFT TEH BUILDING*
     
MindFad
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Nov 30, 2002, 03:44 PM
 
Choose the second one! The clouds are pwetty.
     
willed
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Nov 30, 2002, 03:44 PM
 
Uh-oh... You shouldn't ought to 'a done that, son...
     
Mac-arthur
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Nov 30, 2002, 03:52 PM
 
We all make spelling errors, hell I've made a few.

But really your topic title makes no sense unless you spell Religion correctly...

That being said I vote: NO on both.

"the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
     
Face Ache
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Nov 30, 2002, 07:10 PM
 
My heart says follow Bob but my mind says Rastafarian all da way mon.
     
korn
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Nov 30, 2002, 07:21 PM
 
Well, Since it's very fashionable to paint the enemy as THE "evil" by both sides of the new world front, I would choose a DUALIST religion, maybe Manichaeism?
     
PorscheBunny
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Nov 30, 2002, 07:21 PM
 
Google both of them.

My understanding in that Scientology required $$$$$ to become "clear", while the Church of the Sub-Genius doesn't require a lot of cash.

I could be wrong on this, but I'm not interested enough to do the research.
*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE BITCH HAS LEFT TEH BUILDING*
     
schep
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: sc aka hell
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Nov 30, 2002, 07:56 PM
 
GoogleFight.com Says Scientology
results
     
Face Ache
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Nov 30, 2002, 08:28 PM
 
The Church of the SubGenius

APPLICATION QUESTIONNAIRE

Don't spend too long on any one question, and don't answer any if you think they're in bad taste, which they may indeed be. Use a seperate page if necessary. Or else just blow off this whole questionnaire. (Watch the Newsletter for compiled results. Don't worry -- your name won't be used.)

Have you been getting any lately? _____________________

How are you? _____________________

Age: _____________________

Sex: _____________________

Color of skin, if any: _____________________

Occupation: _____________________

Monthly Earnings: _____________________

Childhood Religion: _____________________

Previous Mystic Groups: _____________________

Name a couple of your favorite types or creators of:

MOVIES, TV: __________________________________________

MUSIC: __________________________________________

BOOKS: __________________________________________

MAGS: __________________________________________

Other favorite things, hobbies: _____________________

Somewhere on this sheet, draw a simple pic of you, God, and your ego.

When you die, where will you go? _____________________

By what means would you most like to die? _____________________

How and when, if ever, do you think the world will "end" or change drastically? __________________________________________

The future will be [__] fun [__] not so fun [__] pretty much like it is now.

Name the three most fearsome things you think face the U.S.:

_____________________ _____________________ _____________________

Describe yourself in a few carefully chosen words: _____________________

Current Short Duration Personal Saviors, if any: _____________________

What makes you think you're a SubGenius, huh? What's the deal here? Just what do you have to say for yourself?

__________________________________________________ _____________

__________________________________________________ _____________

__________________________________________________ _____________

YES or NO Questions

Simply put a Y or N after each question, or SO for 'sort of'

Do you sometimes look back at yourself 3 or 4 years ago and think, "God, what a jerk?" ____

Do you hear voices muttering in your head, faint and indistinct? ____

Do you use credit cards irresponsibly in hopes of later payment? ____

Do you get messages from space beamed into your skull? ____

Are you a 'packrat,' do you hoard material goods you'll probably never use? ____

Do you enjoy filing, stacking, re sorting them? ____

Would you love to go looting during a riot? ____

Do you worry about your brain? ____

Do you dream of controlling the world? ____

When you were a child, did you torture small animals and bugs? ____

Do you find it utterly impossible to comprehend the opposite sex? ____

Do you get psychosomatic headaches? ____

Does your temper stay dormant most of the time, only to suddenly explode into quasi-insane rage? ____

Do you like to drive fast as hell, with your car stereo cranked up all the way? ____

Do you often 'tune out' the world while concentrating? ____

Do you feel you "march to the beat of a drunken drummer? ____

Do you forget where you just put things? ____

Do you catch yourself shooting off at the mouth? ____

Do you sometimes want to fire a deer rifle into your TV? ____

Do you often lie when the truth would suffice? ____

Do you blurt out well-meant but uncouth statements and then immediately regret it? ____

Do you sometimes smash the **** out of your finger when using a hammer? ____

Do you have spells during which you are pissed off or depressed for what you later decide was no good reason? ____

Would you really rather sit around and watch TV than go out?____

Do you deliberately work at an honest but menial job, even though you could be making big $$$ as an ass-kissing executive? ____

Do you look down on those who would rather do idiot labor or go on the dole than try to achieve, as you have done? ____

Are you fairly well assured that you're smarter than the average gazooba? ____

Do you get fixated on one amusing little activity and then 'go at it,' day and night? ____

Are you scientific rather than superstitious? ____

Do you avoid looking too closely at beautiful 13 year old girls? ____ Boys? ____

When you get impatient with an inanimate object, do you tear it all to ****? ____

At night at home alone, are you sometimes convinced that Charles Manson is in your closet? ____

Do you instinctively imitate dialects and mannerisms when describing a scene? ____

Do certain textures or noises make your skin crawl? ____

Do you often stay up all night? ____

Does money 'burn a hole in your pocket?' ____

Does everything seem a little unreal to you? ____

Do you have certain secrets that no one else knows? ____

Have you ever had a psychic experience? ____

Seen a UFO? ____

Do you let jobs stack up, rationalizing that you work better under pressure? ____

Does disorder in your work area drive you nuts? ____

Do you spout broad genera lizations on subjects about which you know little or nothing? ____

Do you find human folly amusing? ____

Do you live in your own little world? ____

Do you like to go out at night with friends, being rowdy and disturbing the peace, drinking and terrorizing citizens? ____

Do you get all cranked up and make elaborate plans that will never come off in a million years? ____
     
Face Ache
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Nov 30, 2002, 08:29 PM
 
(continued)

Do you always need to fart during the most solemn occasions? ____

When you see someone in pain or discomfort do you laugh, or want to? ____

Married? ____ Divorced? ____

Do you have enough Slack? ____

Do you recognize the necessity for law and order? ____

Do you like your job/school/chores? ____

Paid enough? ____

In general, do you really give a ****? ____

Do you read much? ____

Watch the news much? ____

Do you compulsively read any inane thing (labels, ads) that happens to be within vision? ____

Do you sometimes get the impression that EVERYBODY of the opposite (or otherwise desired) sex is repulsed by you? ____

If we invaded little countries or fought Russian with N-bombs, would you coddle draft dodgers? ____

Would you get the **** out of the country? ____

Do people consider you odd? ____

Do you have different personalities according to who you're talking to? ____

Do you sometimes make faces, sing, twitch, etc. for no sane reason? ____

Would you just as soon let others make the tedious decisions? ____

Do you behave differently with family than with friends? ____

Does everything always take twice as long and cost twice as much as you thought it would? ____

Are you always late? ____

Do you easily 'blow things off' and procrastinate? ____

Is today's youth more ****ed up than the previous generation? ____

Do you clown around a lot? ____

Do your face and voice change grotesquely when you get excited? ____

Do you ignore your health for long periods? ____

Do you sometimes get all 'spaced out' and 'dingy' for no apparent reason? ____

Do you feel paranoia about people watching you and laughing at you? ____

Do you ever dream you are in elementary school, and you suddenly notice you are wearing no pants? ____

When you were a little kid, if you tapped the left side of your chair a few times, did you then feel compelled to tap the right side of your chair an exactly equal number of times? ____

Do you sometimes go out beating up strangers? ____

Do you occasionally shoplift 'in revenge?' ____

Do you go on drug binges occasionally? ____

Are you more or less cheerful around others? ____

Do you sometimes think you should 'quit?' ____

Do you or did you do lousy things to your elders, just to bug them? ____

Every now and then, do you tie up blind amputee women and indulge in mud sports, canings, and Tasmanian Culture? ____

Do you have an phobias, fears, compulsions? ____

Do you sometimes dwell morbidly on things like sickness, world problems, death, drugs, pain, perversion? ____

Are you even slightly sick in the head? ____

Do you sometimes fret irrationally over friends and loved ones? ____

Do you actually FEAR "Bob" at times? ____

Do you figure there's a big depression on the way? ____

Do you think the aliens will stop us from destroying ourselfs? ____

Do you often dream about a post-holocaust world in which you are top caveman? ____

Have you lost pretty much ALL faith in the government? ____

Do you bite into an apple and then worry about the weird, chemical taste on the skin? ____

Do you use our nation's President as a scapegoat? ____

Do you think justice can be 'bought?' ____

Do you instinctively feel that all public figures are liars? ____

Do you automatically dislike members of strange religious cults? ____

When you get home from work, would you just as soon watch some cheap, stupid entertainment as more educational fare? ____

Do certain 'types' of people get under your skin? ____

Does it irritate the hell out of you to see writers use cliches? ____

Do you fall madly in love, ALL THE TIME? ____

CIRCLE THE ANSWERS WHICH APPLY:

Which of the following words describe YOU?

City person; country person; suburbanite; hetero, homo, bi, omni-, or a-sex ual; "good;" "bad;" sensitive; tough; frustrated; satisfied; athletic; healthy; ill; wimp; sane; half-cocked; insane; absent-minded; alert; friendly; cagey; sullen; antisocial; goofy; a funny person in conversation; tired; energetic; nervous; loose; lively; a wallflower; quiet; loud; blue collar; white collar; no collar; talented; untalented; intellectual; no-bullshit; moody; weird; normal; depressed; manic; neurotic; psychotic; renegade; aggressive; subdued; nice; grouchy; optimistic; cynical; pessi mistic; smart; stupid; in-between; genius; crafty; shitty; nowhere; rich; middle-class; poor; handicapped; macho; educated; uneducated; overeducated; and finally, are you an EMERGENTILE, a REWARDIAN, or merely a MEDIOCRETIN?

Which of the following 'phenomena' do you more or less believe in? UFOs; astrology; telepathy; precognition; telekinesis; psychic healing; pyramid power; ancient astronauts; 'ghosts;' trance revelations; Atlantis/ Mu/etc.; Bigfoot-type creatures; the Loch Ness monster; none above; OTHERS:

The world condition these days is: bad; good; funny; as expected.

Right now, you would like to have more:

Time; money; friends; sex; alcohol; tobacco; marijuana; stimulants; narcotics; depressants; hallucinogens; clothes; brains; OTHER:
     
kmkkid
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Brantford, ON. Canada
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Dec 1, 2002, 05:50 AM
 
I researched scientology back when I was in HS. It's a very scary religion. It's almost cult like, in that once you join, you basically cant leave and if you do leave, your family wont. Also you make a "I think" a million year pledge to the religion when you join, and it's supposedly a legally binding contract.. I dont know if it truly is though...

scary stuff

Chris
     
gadster
Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Dec 1, 2002, 07:59 AM
 
lol Faceache (you gotta be aussie, with that nick), did you make all that up?

Scientology cloud theme is "where do you want to go today"?
e-gads
     
Face Ache
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Dec 1, 2002, 08:03 AM
 
Originally posted by gadster:
lol Faceache (you gotta be aussie, with that nick), did you make all that up?
I'm in Perth. I didn't make that up. The Church of the Subgenius is a joke church made up to take the piss out of the others.
     
gadster
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Location: Sydney, Australia
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Dec 1, 2002, 08:12 AM
 
Originally posted by Face Ache:

I'm in Perth. I didn't make that up. The Church of the Subgenius is a joke church made up to take the piss out of the others.
I thought all churches were a joke, to take the piss out of the idiots who believe in their BS.

Enter Zimphire, Stage left…
e-gads
     
MrBenn
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: uk
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Dec 1, 2002, 09:00 AM
 
"Choose life. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a ****ing big television. Choose a washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers... Choose DIY and wondering who the **** you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home nothing more than an embarressment to the selfish ****ed up brats you've spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would you want to do a thing like that?"

- And now I have to choose a religeon as well?

quote- Trainspotting
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
     
Vanquish
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
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Dec 1, 2002, 04:00 PM
 
Nice one MrBenn
     
   
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