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Choose a Religeon
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Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Silicon Valley The home of empty office buildings
Status:
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I'm not sure which Church I should join.
I have looked into some of the Pros and Cons of each choice.
Or
Anyone here a member of either church?
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2002
Status:
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I smell flamebait!
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*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE BITCH HAS LEFT TEH BUILDING*
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Sep 2001
Status:
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Choose the second one! The clouds are pwetty.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: USA at the moment
Status:
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Uh-oh... You shouldn't ought to 'a done that, son...
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Forum Regular
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Newport Beach, CA, USA
Status:
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We all make spelling errors, hell I've made a few.
But really your topic title makes no sense unless you spell Religion correctly...
That being said I vote: NO on both.
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"the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2001
Status:
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My heart says follow Bob but my mind says Rastafarian all da way mon.
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Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: the underworld
Status:
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Well, Since it's very fashionable to paint the enemy as THE "evil" by both sides of the new world front, I would choose a DUALIST religion, maybe Manichaeism?
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2002
Status:
Offline
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Google both of them.
My understanding in that Scientology required $$$$$ to become "clear", while the Church of the Sub-Genius doesn't require a lot of cash.
I could be wrong on this, but I'm not interested enough to do the research.
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*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE BITCH HAS LEFT TEH BUILDING*
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Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: sc aka hell
Status:
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2001
Status:
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The Church of the SubGenius
APPLICATION QUESTIONNAIRE
Don't spend too long on any one question, and don't answer any if you think they're in bad taste, which they may indeed be. Use a seperate page if necessary. Or else just blow off this whole questionnaire. (Watch the Newsletter for compiled results. Don't worry -- your name won't be used.)
Have you been getting any lately? _____________________
How are you? _____________________
Age: _____________________
Sex: _____________________
Color of skin, if any: _____________________
Occupation: _____________________
Monthly Earnings: _____________________
Childhood Religion: _____________________
Previous Mystic Groups: _____________________
Name a couple of your favorite types or creators of:
MOVIES, TV: __________________________________________
MUSIC: __________________________________________
BOOKS: __________________________________________
MAGS: __________________________________________
Other favorite things, hobbies: _____________________
Somewhere on this sheet, draw a simple pic of you, God, and your ego.
When you die, where will you go? _____________________
By what means would you most like to die? _____________________
How and when, if ever, do you think the world will "end" or change drastically? __________________________________________
The future will be [__] fun [__] not so fun [__] pretty much like it is now.
Name the three most fearsome things you think face the U.S.:
_____________________ _____________________ _____________________
Describe yourself in a few carefully chosen words: _____________________
Current Short Duration Personal Saviors, if any: _____________________
What makes you think you're a SubGenius, huh? What's the deal here? Just what do you have to say for yourself?
__________________________________________________ _____________
__________________________________________________ _____________
__________________________________________________ _____________
YES or NO Questions
Simply put a Y or N after each question, or SO for 'sort of'
Do you sometimes look back at yourself 3 or 4 years ago and think, "God, what a jerk?" ____
Do you hear voices muttering in your head, faint and indistinct? ____
Do you use credit cards irresponsibly in hopes of later payment? ____
Do you get messages from space beamed into your skull? ____
Are you a 'packrat,' do you hoard material goods you'll probably never use? ____
Do you enjoy filing, stacking, re sorting them? ____
Would you love to go looting during a riot? ____
Do you worry about your brain? ____
Do you dream of controlling the world? ____
When you were a child, did you torture small animals and bugs? ____
Do you find it utterly impossible to comprehend the opposite sex? ____
Do you get psychosomatic headaches? ____
Does your temper stay dormant most of the time, only to suddenly explode into quasi-insane rage? ____
Do you like to drive fast as hell, with your car stereo cranked up all the way? ____
Do you often 'tune out' the world while concentrating? ____
Do you feel you "march to the beat of a drunken drummer? ____
Do you forget where you just put things? ____
Do you catch yourself shooting off at the mouth? ____
Do you sometimes want to fire a deer rifle into your TV? ____
Do you often lie when the truth would suffice? ____
Do you blurt out well-meant but uncouth statements and then immediately regret it? ____
Do you sometimes smash the **** out of your finger when using a hammer? ____
Do you have spells during which you are pissed off or depressed for what you later decide was no good reason? ____
Would you really rather sit around and watch TV than go out?____
Do you deliberately work at an honest but menial job, even though you could be making big $$$ as an ass-kissing executive? ____
Do you look down on those who would rather do idiot labor or go on the dole than try to achieve, as you have done? ____
Are you fairly well assured that you're smarter than the average gazooba? ____
Do you get fixated on one amusing little activity and then 'go at it,' day and night? ____
Are you scientific rather than superstitious? ____
Do you avoid looking too closely at beautiful 13 year old girls? ____ Boys? ____
When you get impatient with an inanimate object, do you tear it all to ****? ____
At night at home alone, are you sometimes convinced that Charles Manson is in your closet? ____
Do you instinctively imitate dialects and mannerisms when describing a scene? ____
Do certain textures or noises make your skin crawl? ____
Do you often stay up all night? ____
Does money 'burn a hole in your pocket?' ____
Does everything seem a little unreal to you? ____
Do you have certain secrets that no one else knows? ____
Have you ever had a psychic experience? ____
Seen a UFO? ____
Do you let jobs stack up, rationalizing that you work better under pressure? ____
Does disorder in your work area drive you nuts? ____
Do you spout broad genera lizations on subjects about which you know little or nothing? ____
Do you find human folly amusing? ____
Do you live in your own little world? ____
Do you like to go out at night with friends, being rowdy and disturbing the peace, drinking and terrorizing citizens? ____
Do you get all cranked up and make elaborate plans that will never come off in a million years? ____
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2001
Status:
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(continued)
Do you always need to fart during the most solemn occasions? ____
When you see someone in pain or discomfort do you laugh, or want to? ____
Married? ____ Divorced? ____
Do you have enough Slack? ____
Do you recognize the necessity for law and order? ____
Do you like your job/school/chores? ____
Paid enough? ____
In general, do you really give a ****? ____
Do you read much? ____
Watch the news much? ____
Do you compulsively read any inane thing (labels, ads) that happens to be within vision? ____
Do you sometimes get the impression that EVERYBODY of the opposite (or otherwise desired) sex is repulsed by you? ____
If we invaded little countries or fought Russian with N-bombs, would you coddle draft dodgers? ____
Would you get the **** out of the country? ____
Do people consider you odd? ____
Do you have different personalities according to who you're talking to? ____
Do you sometimes make faces, sing, twitch, etc. for no sane reason? ____
Would you just as soon let others make the tedious decisions? ____
Do you behave differently with family than with friends? ____
Does everything always take twice as long and cost twice as much as you thought it would? ____
Are you always late? ____
Do you easily 'blow things off' and procrastinate? ____
Is today's youth more ****ed up than the previous generation? ____
Do you clown around a lot? ____
Do your face and voice change grotesquely when you get excited? ____
Do you ignore your health for long periods? ____
Do you sometimes get all 'spaced out' and 'dingy' for no apparent reason? ____
Do you feel paranoia about people watching you and laughing at you? ____
Do you ever dream you are in elementary school, and you suddenly notice you are wearing no pants? ____
When you were a little kid, if you tapped the left side of your chair a few times, did you then feel compelled to tap the right side of your chair an exactly equal number of times? ____
Do you sometimes go out beating up strangers? ____
Do you occasionally shoplift 'in revenge?' ____
Do you go on drug binges occasionally? ____
Are you more or less cheerful around others? ____
Do you sometimes think you should 'quit?' ____
Do you or did you do lousy things to your elders, just to bug them? ____
Every now and then, do you tie up blind amputee women and indulge in mud sports, canings, and Tasmanian Culture? ____
Do you have an phobias, fears, compulsions? ____
Do you sometimes dwell morbidly on things like sickness, world problems, death, drugs, pain, perversion? ____
Are you even slightly sick in the head? ____
Do you sometimes fret irrationally over friends and loved ones? ____
Do you actually FEAR "Bob" at times? ____
Do you figure there's a big depression on the way? ____
Do you think the aliens will stop us from destroying ourselfs? ____
Do you often dream about a post-holocaust world in which you are top caveman? ____
Have you lost pretty much ALL faith in the government? ____
Do you bite into an apple and then worry about the weird, chemical taste on the skin? ____
Do you use our nation's President as a scapegoat? ____
Do you think justice can be 'bought?' ____
Do you instinctively feel that all public figures are liars? ____
Do you automatically dislike members of strange religious cults? ____
When you get home from work, would you just as soon watch some cheap, stupid entertainment as more educational fare? ____
Do certain 'types' of people get under your skin? ____
Does it irritate the hell out of you to see writers use cliches? ____
Do you fall madly in love, ALL THE TIME? ____
CIRCLE THE ANSWERS WHICH APPLY:
Which of the following words describe YOU?
City person; country person; suburbanite; hetero, homo, bi, omni-, or a-sex ual; "good;" "bad;" sensitive; tough; frustrated; satisfied; athletic; healthy; ill; wimp; sane; half-cocked; insane; absent-minded; alert; friendly; cagey; sullen; antisocial; goofy; a funny person in conversation; tired; energetic; nervous; loose; lively; a wallflower; quiet; loud; blue collar; white collar; no collar; talented; untalented; intellectual; no-bullshit; moody; weird; normal; depressed; manic; neurotic; psychotic; renegade; aggressive; subdued; nice; grouchy; optimistic; cynical; pessi mistic; smart; stupid; in-between; genius; crafty; shitty; nowhere; rich; middle-class; poor; handicapped; macho; educated; uneducated; overeducated; and finally, are you an EMERGENTILE, a REWARDIAN, or merely a MEDIOCRETIN?
Which of the following 'phenomena' do you more or less believe in? UFOs; astrology; telepathy; precognition; telekinesis; psychic healing; pyramid power; ancient astronauts; 'ghosts;' trance revelations; Atlantis/ Mu/etc.; Bigfoot-type creatures; the Loch Ness monster; none above; OTHERS:
The world condition these days is: bad; good; funny; as expected.
Right now, you would like to have more:
Time; money; friends; sex; alcohol; tobacco; marijuana; stimulants; narcotics; depressants; hallucinogens; clothes; brains; OTHER:
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Brantford, ON. Canada
Status:
Offline
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I researched scientology back when I was in HS. It's a very scary religion. It's almost cult like, in that once you join, you basically cant leave and if you do leave, your family wont. Also you make a "I think" a million year pledge to the religion when you join, and it's supposedly a legally binding contract.. I dont know if it truly is though...
scary stuff
Chris
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Sydney, Australia
Status:
Offline
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lol Faceache (you gotta be aussie, with that nick), did you make all that up?
Scientology cloud theme is "where do you want to go today"?
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e-gads
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2001
Status:
Offline
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Originally posted by gadster:
lol Faceache (you gotta be aussie, with that nick), did you make all that up?
I'm in Perth. I didn't make that up. The Church of the Subgenius is a joke church made up to take the piss out of the others.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Sydney, Australia
Status:
Offline
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Originally posted by Face Ache:
I'm in Perth. I didn't make that up. The Church of the Subgenius is a joke church made up to take the piss out of the others.
I thought all churches were a joke, to take the piss out of the idiots who believe in their BS.
Enter Zimphire, Stage left�
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e-gads
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Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: uk
Status:
Offline
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"Choose life. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a ****ing big television. Choose a washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers... Choose DIY and wondering who the **** you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home nothing more than an embarressment to the selfish ****ed up brats you've spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would you want to do a thing like that?"
- And now I have to choose a religeon as well?
quote- Trainspotting
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Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Europe
Status:
Offline
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Nice one MrBenn
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Forum Rules
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