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Ken Masters · Sep 3, 2003, 08:51 PM

Remembering back to the days of my youth, I was very sceptical of other people�s kindness, always questioning their good will, and never feeling sincere about anything because I always knew there was a catch, there had to be, IT JUST HAD TO BE a CATCH.

I didn�t have many friends, and back then, frankly I didn�t care; since they were all against me, all of them. I don�t even think the teachers liked me, she would give me an evil eye at times and somehow I know that the teachers would ponder my demise, they just would, their�s evil, evil I tell you�

But then every thing started to change. There was this new girl that came, she had long blond hair with big square glasses who incredibly was always very nice to me. She always wanted to play with me, and shared stuff like her food and toys. She was a sweet little girl who spoke politely and always had nice things to say (about me by the way).

Confused and traumatised from the experience, I was convinced that this new girl had to be an alien. She just had too, what else would explain her weird and abnormal behaviour? Going to school that day, I wanted to expose this alien for what it really was. So that the whole world can see how evil and vindictive this alien really is.

Being only in the 2nd grade I couldn�t come up with a good plan, so I sat next to her in art class and stabbed her with a pencil. Stabbed her on the arm, I STABBED HER GOOD!!!. In my 2nd grade mind, if she started bleeding her blood, which should be all green and gewy, it would of exposed her for the evil she is. But I guess the lead pencil was too blunt, and it didn�t pierce through her skin. She cried and screamed making undecipherable noises; maybe she was trying to communicate with her alien counterparts?

Well, I was excluded from that 2nd grade class and till this day, I still think she�s an alien; she has to be, SHE JUST HAD TO BE.

An Alien!!!

ambush · Sep 3, 2003, 08:56 PM

Ya. Of course.. Ya..

<whisper>call 911</whisper>

Stradlater · Sep 3, 2003, 09:05 PM

Aliens are not evil. Kinky, sure, but no more evil than the average human (probably less evil). Aliens make good partners in relationships (they live much longer, so commitment is not a problem).

11011001 · Sep 3, 2003, 09:43 PM

Maybe for some inconceivable reason she had a crush on you.

I know in my experience, there have been plenty of girls who have had crushes on me, which to this days baffles me. (of course I only every found out long after the fact

) They too acted all weird and nice.

Hmm, but you have me thinking, perhaps they were aliens too... oh man! you got me thinking.. oh God! oh God! They are everywhere! Oh, my God!

olePigeon · Sep 3, 2003, 10:48 PM

One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I just sat there my mind a complete blank while he scribbled on little pieces of paper. So the teacher says,"Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes."

So I turned my paper in and it said,"Hello! My name is Bingo! I like to climb on things, can I have a banana?! EEK EEK!"

...I got an F.

When I told my mom she said,"I told you never trust a monkey!"

Then end.

RAzaRazor · Sep 4, 2003, 12:25 AM

I pray for nuclear holocaust every night in the hope that Ken Masters flesh will be melted away by the heat, and his bones will be found and crushed into tiny bits for use as low grade kitty litter.

Please, let it be tonight.

Ken Masters · Sep 4, 2003, 12:32 AM

originally posted by RazaRazor

I pray for nuclear holocaust every night in the hope that Ken Masters flesh will be melted away by the heat, and his bones will be found and crushed into tiny bits for use as low grade kitty litter.

Please, let it be tonight.

U really have something against me don't you,

Actually come to think of it, That Alien girl could be YOU

YOU ARE AN ALIEN

Holocaust would be something you want wouldn't it?

scaught · Sep 4, 2003, 01:32 AM

Originally posted by RAzaRazor:
I pray for nuclear holocaust every night in the hope that Ken Masters flesh will be melted away by the heat, and his bones will be found and crushed into tiny bits for use as low grade kitty litter.

Please, let it be tonight.

thats a hell of a thousandth post, bro. welcome to addiction.

RAzaRazor · Sep 4, 2003, 12:47 PM

Originally posted by scaught:
thats a hell of a thousandth post, bro. welcome to addiction.

Thanks, but I was already addicted. I lost 700 from the count in the "Great Post Count Dump of 2003" when they archived a bunch of old threads.

The sentiment about Ken Masters remains the same however. I want him melted!

scaught · Sep 4, 2003, 12:56 PM

Originally posted by RAzaRazor:
Thanks, but I was already addicted. I lost 700 from the count in the "Great Post Count Dump of 2003" when they archived a bunch of old threads.

The sentiment about Ken Masters remains the same however. I want him melted!

oh ya. i kinda figured somehow you had to be. i forgot all about the post dump. i think i lost like 5-600. ive already made up for it i think.

vod[k]a · Sep 4, 2003, 01:54 PM

I love your stories Ken Masters! Keep em comin

RAzaRazor · Sep 4, 2003, 02:00 PM

Originally posted by vod[k]a:
I love your stories Ken Masters! Keep em comin

Well, this coming from the guy who posted the Dolphin story isn't very surprising.

vod[k]a · Sep 4, 2003, 05:51 PM

Originally posted by RAzaRazor:
Well, this coming from the guy who posted the Dolphin story isn't very surprising.

No, t'aint surprising t'all! In fact, Ken Masters was my inspiration for that story about the dolphin trainer.

Ken Masters · Sep 4, 2003, 11:41 PM

Don't know about inspiration,

but the dolphin story ROCKS

BasketofPuppies · Sep 5, 2003, 12:20 AM

I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my arms and every evening, I break my legs. At night I cry in bed until my heart attacks put me to sleep.