[milhous]

kind of an offshoot of ghoser777's "I Hate Women�" thread, but i'm curious to see if there's anyone that has decided not to get in a relationship and decide to live on their own by themselves. this is not to be confused with having roommates. furthermore, if you've been living on your own for a while, i have some questions:

do you like it?

are you ever tempted to date?

how do you get through times when you're lonely?

are your friends receptive of your choice to live on your own?

does it feel awkward to be in social situations where your friends are involved with other people while you're not?

as for me, i'm 23 and am about to start my professional career shortly. besides my faith, family, and friends, i want to be devoted to my career as well as do whatever things i want to do whenever. having said this, for me, i feel that getting into a relationship and/or getting married would greatly interfere in how i live my life. i suppose that living alone to have complete control would be deemed selfish?

sound like you or otherwise? sound off!

[Weezer]

It sounds incredibly depressing There are more important things in life than your career, and they are not mutually exclusive.

[OreoCookie]

Well, it's usually someone else's choice ... :

[Chuckit]

I don't get why living with roommates is considered not being single. It's not like roomies typically get into orgies on a regular basis.

[willed]

Was there ever such a thing as the 'confirmed (straight) bachelor'? Not many people are like this now, but then is that because it was only a cover for being gay?

[Weezer]

Originally Posted by OreoCookie

Well, it's usually someone else's choice ... :

*shrug* even if you're ugly, theres someone else ugly out there for you. What you gain from the emotional relationship will sustain you in your career/etc. Being successful, having money, power, will be very unfulfilling at the end of the day with no one to share it with. Also, if you have roommates and are not dating anyone, you are most certainly single.

[RonnieoftheRose]

Originally Posted by milhous

do you like it?

Sometimes because it means I can let loose. I can spend as much time on anything I want without meeting anyone else's requirements. Other times I feel I need company.

are you ever tempted to date?

I wouldn't date just anyone. I'm quite fussy about the company I keep. After a long period alone when I thought I was in love but wasn't (I tried to be sexually attracted to her but she was too much like a spiritual sister) I finally found someone I can have a creative and positive relationship with.

how do you get through times when you're lonely?

Surfing, reading, writing, gaming, watching TV, cooking, eating, working.

are your friends receptive of your choice to live on your own?

Everyone I know respects each other's privacy and life.

does it feel awkward to be in social situations where your friends are involved with other people while you're not?

No.

i suppose that living alone to have complete control would be deemed selfish?

No. We're living in the most loneliest of times since the Stone Age. Back then it was because there weren't that many people. Now it's because there are too many people not worth knowing.

[Captain Obvious]

I am not sure why you are equating living alone with being single. I am not part of a real couple but during any given week I may be playing house with a girl. I have friends who are in very serious relationships but still do not live with their girlfriend.
It all depends on the person. Some people want to keep their own place until they walk down the aisle. You need to straighten out your criteria for what living on your own means.

Originally Posted by milhous

do you like it?

Hell yes I do. I am in no hurry to be married. If our life expectancy is in the 80�s range why should I be in a rush to find a woman now to live out the next 55 years of my life with? This is about the only time I have to myself with no responsibilities other than ones I decide to take on. Biologically I can have kids for at least another 40 years, so when I am ready I will marry someone much younger than me. The way I see it my future wife is probably just starting college.
If it happens before I expect it to then so be it but I am not going to go looking for that relationship.

are you ever tempted to date?

I do date. I just don�t settle down for the long haul. I�ve gotten quite proficient at 3-6 month stints.

how do you get through times when you're lonely?

I have friends and family I am close to so it doesn�t happen often. But if I want to be a real bastard, which has been known to happen, I plan out doing one of those intense things with some girl. You�d be surprised how much emotion can be crammed in to a short term romance if it is played out right.

are your friends receptive of your choice to live on your own?

I have actually turned quite a few people on to my way of thinking. But again the social circle I travel in has always had a lot of very ambitious people in it. The majority are still not in relationships that are destined to lead to marriage because they have been busy pursing their own goals which has led them all over the country for work and school. But there are a few being that we're in the Midwest and they understand.

The saddest thing I saw was when one of my good friends from college and I went out for drinks and lunch in Lincoln Park on a Saturday and he pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his trunk because his fianc�e would get mad at him if she knew he still smoked. He also checked in with her every few hours.

Ask yourself if you're ready to answer to someone again after only being out of your parents' home for 5 years.

does it feel awkward to be in social situations where your friends are involved with other people while you're not?

Most of my friends are just getting out of grad school or finally settled into a stable career so serious couples are rare. The ones that are married or engaged we see less and less of. They are actually the ones who are more likely to be socially awkward because they have to take care of their spouses on these nights to ensure they are also having a good time. Usually one of them was brought in to the group and not originally friends with the rest of us so they are playing catch-up and still aren�t all that comfortable. In other instances you see people holding back on how outwardly social they are being with the group so to not annoy their significant other by making them feel ignored.
When they do come out without their spouses you see that look of missed opportunity in their eyes. They feel the need to cram in all the stuff they can no longer do at home while they are with us.

At work or important social functions when the need to schmooze and impress is expected I have someone by the name of Erin. She and I have had a standing agreement since Junior year of college to function as a show couple when the need arises. She�s insanely hot, quite intelligent (currently a 3L and has a double major BA), and found to be absolutely charming by pretty much everyone. She�s a wonderful trophy wife and one of my best friends. We play the roles well and have fun doing it.

as for me, i'm 23 and am about to start my professional career shortly.
i suppose that living alone to have complete control would be deemed selfish?

Go ahead get married at this age. Statistics say it will last about 5 - 7 years.

[TheJoshu]

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

Go ahead get married at this age. Statistics say it will last about 5 - 7 years.

You know, my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last November. It didn't occur to me earlier, but at some point during the night my dad gave a speech in which he pointed out that each of the ten couples sitting around the table (all long-term family friends) had been married just as long. So for every person who brings up statistics, I'll always have my memory of that night, and the knowledge that statistics only mean as much as you want to make of them. It was beautiful to look around and see that many happily married couples all in their late 40s/early 50s.

[Hawkeye_a]

Originally Posted by RonnieoftheRose

Surfing.

You surf ? as in surf in the ocean ?

[milhous]

Originally Posted by Weezer

It sounds incredibly depressing There are more important things in life than your career, and they are not mutually exclusive.

great responses guys.

i'm not depressed about it, really. i suppose everyone has their priorities. it just seems that my priorities seem to go against the grain of the norm, which is fine with me.

[d4nth3m4n]

if i was single, i wouldn't be in the mess i'm in right now.

i'd have a lot more money and freedom.

hmm, i think i'll have to look into this.

[ManOfSteal]

What about married by choice?

[Ghoser777]

Wait... roommates == mass orgies? Damn, I've had some female friends mentioning being roommates... perhaps they weren't joking!

=O

[wdlove]

One should live their life as they see fit, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Paul himself said that there are those that want to be single and should devote themselves to the single life and God.

[James L]

Originally Posted by Weezer

even if you're ugly, theres someone else ugly out there for you.

Am I the only one here who thinks that should be a bumper sticker?

[historylme]

I'll put in my bumper!

[Person Man]

Originally Posted by willed

Was there ever such a thing as the 'confirmed (straight) bachelor'? Not many people are like this now, but then is that because it was only a cover for being gay?

I can't believe someone would ask this question.

Yes, it is QUITE possible to be a male and never get married, and still be straight. My uncle is one such person.

[Ghoser777]

If that's a cover for being gay, then 5 out of my 9 uncles are in the closet

[:XI:]

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

if i was single, i wouldn't be in the mess i'm in right now.

i'd have a lot more money and freedom.

hmm, i think i'll have to look into this.

Isn't your wife on here?

[V]

Originally Posted by RonnieoftheRose

Sometimes because it means I can let loose. I can spend as much time on anything I want without meeting anyone else's requirements. Other times I feel I need company...

You sound like a spiritual brother! Salutations my friend, I hope we could shake hands someday. Take care.

[rozwado1]

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

if i was single, i wouldn't be in the mess i'm in right now.

i'd have a lot more money and freedom.

hmm, i think i'll have to look into this.

Yeah, but when you're single you may realize that you'd be better off otherwise. It's a tough game to play.

Originally Posted by :XI:

Isn't your wife on here?

Ouch. Not wife. His girlfriend.



On second thought, maybe it's about time d4n...

[willed]

Originally Posted by Person Man

I can't believe someone would ask this question.

Yes, it is QUITE possible to be a male and never get married, and still be straight. My uncle is one such person.

I didn't really mean it like that! It's just that I've never known anyone over 40 who's single by choice and straight. I never thought it wasn't possible - it's just I guess that there did used to be quite a few singletons who were single because they were gay, and perhaps the liberalisation of homosexuality is one reason why one tends to meet fewer 'confirmed bachelors' these days!

That didn't come out very clearly, but perhaps you know what I mean. I'm not saying anyone who's single by choice is gay!

[rozwado1]

...or the other way to look at it is that Person Man is just in denial that his uncle is gay...

[Cody Dawg]

I got married once. Then divorced because of competing careers. We're still very close - just talked to him this morning as a matter-of-fact. Then I got remarried after swearing I'd never remarry. I had enough money and a great career and no need to remarry. I met my husband and we were best friends and one day one of my girlfriends said, "Your boyfriend is REALLY good looking and sexy," even though he wasn't my boyfriend at that point and was just a friend, and I got a groove going for him.

I was really afraid that getting married would ruin our really great relationship, but it didn't. We're just great friends and we happen to be married and we have really cool kids.

And a great dog.

[:XI:]

[QUOTE=rozwado1]Yeah, but when you're single you may realize that you'd be better off otherwise. It's a tough game to play. [/q]

Yeah, the grass is always greener.

Ouch. Not wife. His girlfriend.

Aah. Right, sorry.

[SimpleLife]

I am single, a bit by choice, a bit because of circumstances.

My last girlfriend was drinking too much alcohol and our lives were miserable in a very remote area with crappy jobs and all. 8 years later, I am still single and no prospect.

Today she has a new boyfriend with whom she is very happy; good for her.

Me, I just got more focused in a job that was completely new to me and the level of dedication was hard; I got higher in the company and now, after moving several times in the last few years, have to reconnect with people and make new friewnds. It is sometimes so hard that I wonder if it is worth all the effort.

What makes it harder is that my job has me manage a group of mostly very beautiful and bright women whom I supervise and direct in their work. This is no place to make friends for me, or friends with their friends (i.e. by connecting through social events).

In the meantime, I do a lot of reading, bicycle and try to gather some courage to introduce myself to people, which I find quite challenging.

[d4nth3m4n]

Originally Posted by rozwado1

On second thought, maybe it's about time d4n...

about time i what?

she's my girlfriend, and we're still mostly together, but i think it might be about time for this one to move along.

[rozwado1]

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

about time i what?

she's my girlfriend, and we're still mostly together, but i think it might be about time for this one to move along.

exactly...

[exca1ibur]

Single all my life and never been in a relationship. Hope to never get married. If it happens it happens. (It won't) For now I'm trying to get a business off the ground.

[TailsToo]

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

about time i what?

she's my girlfriend, and we're still mostly together, but i think it might be about time for this one to move along.

Yeah, that's the other part that's a problem... I think I've spent more time "mostly together" than actually together. It really makes me want to wait to find the one, and not just be with someome to be with someone.

[Person Man]

Originally Posted by rozwado1

...or the other way to look at it is that Person Man is just in denial that his uncle is gay...

Nope...

I was cleaning out (read reinstalling) his PC of all viruses (all he does is surf the 'net), and ran across plenty of evidence of his looking at pr0n... and none of it was gay pr0n.

I really wish he would get a Mac. I hate going over to his place every 6 months to reinstall Windows XP, and Norton Internet Security...

[E's Lil Theorem]

Well, I'm single, but seeing people. Dating, if that's what you choose to call it. However, none of them are leading towards long-term relationships and that's by choice, usually mine.

I don't want to be in a long-term relationship for multiple reasons, all of which would take too long to explain/type out.

Anyway, I guess I'm quasi single and like it very much.

[Superchicken]

I'm 20... I have yet to find the right girl... That's the main reason why I'm single... least... that's assuming she'd go out with me.. fortunately I'm not to afraid to ask a girl out or something... just seems everyone I've ever liked has either liked a close friend, or lived in Nevada...

[Face Ache]

Originally Posted by Weezer

*shrug* even if you're ugly, theres someone else ugly out there for you.

Hey ugly people have standards too y'know!

[milhous]

Originally Posted by exca1ibur

Single all my life and never been in a relationship. Hope to never get married. If it happens it happens. (It won't) For now I'm trying to get a business off the ground.

this is precisely how I feel, i've got entrepreneurial aspirations myself, so that's what really keeps me going. everything else is just interference.

i'm not anti-social in case some people are wondering. i enjoy the bar scene and other social outings very much.

[d4nth3m4n]

i like sex too much with relationship/ fragile type girls to not end up attached (whether i like it or not).

[DeathToWindows]

My photo teacher in HS was one such bloke