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thePurpleGiant · Jan 2, 2003, 01:20 AM

Okay I don't mean to sound like an *******, but normally when I go out with a girl it's because she is both good looking *and* has a good personality. I've always said to myself that if i meet someone with a great personality, then looks wouldn't matter, but I didn't know if I was a total hypocrite because I had never done this. All my previosu girlfriends have had my mates drooling.

Well the other week I met a chick with the best personality, we clicked so so well, that even tho she is 'good looking', she isn't amazing or anythign, but I couldn't care less. It's really strange. I'm too cynical to believe that I'm in love with someone I've met only 3 times now, but it is comforting to know that it isn't 'lust', because wouldn't that require her to be very good looking? I'm not sure...

My grandparents would always crap on about how looks aren't everything, when I'd comment on a hot chick, and I'd agree, but it's so cool when looks are a non-issue.

The other strange thing I found out, is that I have mentioned here before that my father was an Anglican Priest before he died. Well her mother is a Minister for the Uniting Church. That's gotta be a circumstance that less than .001% of the population would be in.

Why am I sharing this with you all? I'm not too sure...perhaps to show people that only count looks as important, that there is more. Perhaps to see if I'm the only person in this situation. Perhaps I just think I'm in love, despite always being sceptical, almost insulting towards those who claim to be in love in such a short amount of time.

Apple Pro Underwear · Jan 2, 2003, 01:53 AM

first of all, where's the sweet home alabama? christmas is OVER!

and about girls - the gorgeous ones in my experience are more often than not Drama Queens or have issues. although they are undeniably hot, a average looking gal that you have a lot in common with and dig for her personality is much better in the long run.

but there are guys out there that love drama queens and are obsessed with beauty, so i guess it's all about preference.

PorscheBunny · Jan 2, 2003, 06:10 AM

High maintenance women only get to be higher maintenance the older they get. Find someone who's lower maintenance, and you'll both be happier in the long run.

Looks are what get the initial attention, the mind and the heart are the real hooks. If you are bothered by what they think/believe, it's better and easier and cheaper to find out early on and dissolve the relationship before a house, mortgage, kids, and pets get in the way.

Superficial people suck.

Miniryu · Jan 2, 2003, 06:20 AM

Originally posted by PorscheBunny:
High maintenance women only get to be higher maintenance the older they get. Find someone who's lower maintenance, and you'll both be happier in the long run.

Looks are what get the initial attention, the mind and the heart are the real hooks. If you are bothered by what they think/believe, it's better and easier and cheaper to find out early on and dissolve the relationship before a house, mortgage, kids, and pets get in the way.

Superficial people suck.

I agree. Anyone who claims that looks are completely unnecessary and it is the person inside that counts is fooling themselves. Looks are important, but mostly for the initial attraction. After that, it is up to the person inside to keep the attraction going. So many people never move beyond this first step of initial reaction and get married early on, and leave us with a 50% divorce rate.

scaught · Jan 2, 2003, 09:52 AM

i think jimmy soul said it best. take it away jimmy. ps. i had no clue it was jimmy soul who sang this song, only remember hearing it.

If You Wanna Be Happy - Jimmy Soul

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.

Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.

Say man.
Hey baby.
Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's ugly.
Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook.
Yeah?. Okay

Vanquish · Jan 2, 2003, 10:17 AM

My girl is weird she's hot and very superficial to the outside, but when you get to know here she's very nice and not superficial at all. In the beginning I was worried about her superficial side but it was proven that I was wrong. But people who say that looks are unimportant and that personality is everything are quite wrong, they are equally important. Anyway, some people are considerd hot by one and ugly by the other so it's al extremely relative. I'm in that OTHER 50% Miniryu was talking about. We had the initial attraction and now we're connected on the inside (weird way to say it).

Lerkfish · 03:28 PM

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rambo47 · Jan 2, 2003, 10:32 AM

The first thing we see in a female is her outward appearance, so it's only natural that we're attracted to the hot ones. We're visual creatures. But once you get to know some one, the exterior view can come to represent what's inside, which is really what's important. Too many hot girls have never had to rely on personallity to make and keep friends so they never develop a personallity and remain shallow. I know this is a gross generalization, but perhaps there is a little truth in my own observations.

wallinbl · Jan 2, 2003, 10:34 AM

It's absurd to think that looks are mandatory. For most people, it's about a relationship with a person. For some, it's about sex, and it's only those people that are concerned with looks. The more you love a person, the better s/he looks. Try it, you'll see.

Vanquish · Jan 2, 2003, 10:38 AM

By Rambo47:
Too many hot girls have never had to rely on personallity to make and keep friends so they never develop a personallity and remain shallow. I know this is a gross generalization

nothing personal Rambo, but that *is* a generalization.

It looks like you people are saying that only ugly people have good personalities.

Atef's Carcase · Jan 2, 2003, 11:27 AM

-------------------------------
from a Discovery channel program on paring and mating:
in general, the best looking males tend to be with the best looking females (and the other way around).

less attractive males, in general, get the less attractive females.
--------------------------------

However, many guys seem to be exempt from this rule. If a guy is charming, funny, and popular, but seriously fugly, he can still get hot girls. That doesn't really work in reverse.

Lerkfish · 03:29 PM

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Apple Pro Underwear · Jan 2, 2003, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by rambo47:
The first thing we see in a female is her outward appearance, so it's only natural that we're attracted to the hot ones. We're visual creatures. But once you get to know some one, the exterior view can come to represent what's inside, which is really what's important. Too many hot girls have never had to rely on personallity to make and keep friends so they never develop a personallity and remain shallow. I know this is a gross generalization, but perhaps there is a little truth in my own observations.

this is a terrible observation, but at times it can be so true

i see totally screwed up bitches all the time not getting their way because they expect it from their "beauty". these spoiled brats who use their looks to get special treatment are way too prevalent.

i have also seen some genuinely fantastic people too. just not enough.

PorscheBunny · Jan 2, 2003, 01:21 PM

Originally posted by Atef's Carcase:
However, many guys seem to be exempt from this rule. If a guy is charming, funny, and popular, but seriously fugly, he can still get hot girls. That doesn't really work in reverse.

To gain the exemption, you must be able to sing, play sports, have a sh�tload of money, or some combination thereof.

Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Steven Tyler, Michael Jackson (back when he was still male), Richard Petty, Tom Petty, Joe Namath, Ted Kennedy, � the list goes on and on.

scaught · Jan 2, 2003, 02:13 PM

it takes a lucky batch of genes to make a pretty person. it takes something else entirely to make the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

look at the prettiest girl you can possibly think of, and im sure theres at least 5 guys who got tired of banging her/being with her. appearance is only so important in the scheme of things.

daimoni · 02:09 AM

.

thePurpleGiant · Jan 3, 2003, 01:12 AM

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
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Hey Lerk, I like you man, just wondering what's with the recent withdrawal of your posts? I never got to see them, but I'm positive they'd be worthwhile like your usual ones. This is the second thread I've seen with this.

thePurpleGiant · 02:44 AM

Originally posted by Apple Pro Underwear:
first of all, where's the sweet home alabama? christmas is OVER!

and about girls - the gorgeous ones in my experience are more often than not Drama Queens or have issues. although they are undeniably hot, a average looking gal that you have a lot in common with and dig for her personality is much better in the long run.

but there are guys out there that love drama queens and are obsessed with beauty, so i guess it's all about preference.

Sweet home alabama: stay tuned for that in the next hour.

About the rest, yeah I met her at a fast fod place, she was the assistant manager on shift, I always go out of my way to chat with anyone giving me service with a smile, and yeah we just hit it off, looks weren't an issue since I already was talking to her for my food. Met up with her last night, I can't believe what a pathetic dreamy guy I have turned into, ugh. She rocks, why oh why does she live an hour and a half away. Grrr!! The first time I have met someone that I could *actually* imagine spending my whole life with, and I'm 18. It's probably a good thing I don't live close or I could be married before turning 21, a scary thought.

EDIT: APU: Sweet Home is now blasting out of computer speakers near you at jeremy.burge.com

Lerkfish · Jan 3, 2003, 01:28 AM

Originally posted by thePurpleGiant:
Hey Lerk, I like you man, just wondering what's with the recent withdrawal of your posts? I never got to see them, but I'm positive they'd be worthwhile like your usual ones. This is the second thread I've seen with this.

just my occasional BBS PMS...pay no attention to it.
Sometimes I get fed up with things and start withdrawing. It had nothing to do with this thread in particular, was just trying to delete everything I"d posted today.

passmaster16 · Jan 3, 2003, 01:48 AM

Originally posted by Miniryu:
I agree. Anyone who claims that looks are completely unnecessary and it is the person inside that counts is fooling themselves. Looks are important, but mostly for the initial attraction. After that, it is up to the person inside to keep the attraction going. So many people never move beyond this first step of initial reaction and get married early on, and leave us with a 50% divorce rate.

This is very true. In many situations people get married because they feel its the right thing to do only to see it end because they just can't get along. I definately feel there has to be some physical attraction but personality, attitude, and all that stuff is just as important. It's usually the qualities that we don't see that result in a long lasting positive relationship because as with age looks become less of an issue.

Jansar · Jan 3, 2003, 01:55 AM

Anyone here see Shallow Hal? The thing is (the way Jack Black's character is picky) the movie is so true! I'm glad this is the circumstance! They always turn out to be the best and longest-lasting.

funkboy · Jan 3, 2003, 02:13 AM

Well I don't like to talk about these things online, but this just fits in with this thread so well.

If a girl is pretty, but you like her more because of the beliefs she has (in my case, she's really polite, doesn't drink which I don't either, so we fit along together really well in that respect, and we are also, well, talented at art... her maybe more than me, haha!), do you really like her? Am I somehow disregarding how she acts, what her personality and motives really are, because she's pretty (no, no, drop dead gorgeous) and has the same interests/behavior as myself?

Just a moral question, I guess.

thePurpleGiant · Jan 3, 2003, 02:56 AM

Despite not being relevant to the topic (the point was that looks don't matter), here's a picture of us:

All the photos from that week are here

But yeah, I'm off to go and waste some more money calling her, ooh my...

Lerk: 'tis cool mate, just seemed strange. Out of the few posts quoted from you though, none of them seem out of character though...meh

Mastrap · Jan 3, 2003, 03:14 AM

She doesn't strike me as being offensive in any way, shape or form.

Good luck to you both. If ever a picture showed positive body language it's you two guys.

DaKiwi2788 · Jan 3, 2003, 03:31 AM

Originally posted by scaught:
it takes a lucky batch of genes to make a pretty person. it takes something else entirely to make the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

look at the prettiest girl you can possibly think of, and im sure theres at least 5 guys who got tired of banging her/being with her. appearance is only so important in the scheme of things.

Well said. At least the first part was.

thePurpleGiant · Jan 3, 2003, 07:01 AM

Originally posted by Mastrap:
She doesn't strike me as being offensive in any way, shape or form.

Good luck to you both. If ever a picture showed positive body language it's you two guys.

hah, that's almost why I posted the picture, in no way is she 'bad' looking, just not amazing or anything. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but I just got an SMS from her:

"dude! what have you done to me? I can't stop thinking about you! I havent been able to concentrate at work all day. thanks for being so fresh, i'm coming down to visit you as soon as I can, i had an awesome time with you the other night, i havent smiled that much in my whole life'

At least I now know the feeling is mutual...excuse me while I wander around in a daze for a while...I can't believe this is happening to me, me! Wheeeee

Face Ache · Jan 3, 2003, 07:24 AM

Originally posted by thePurpleGiant:
At least I now know the feeling is mutual...excuse me while I wander around in a daze for a while...I can't believe this is happening to me, me! Wheeeee

Love, exciting and new
Come aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.
The Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone

Luurve baby! Yeah!

gadster · Jan 3, 2003, 07:51 AM

Ah yes, when we are young; the girls are 'sex objects'. Then we get a bit older and the guys are 'success objects'. Then we get really old and all that is left is - what's in our hearts, lotsa wrinkles and creaky knees. Ain't life grand?

Sven G · Jan 3, 2003, 07:58 AM

... From the photo: not only is she quite good looking (at least, IMHO) - she also looks sweet, intelligent, friendly and sympathetic! In other words, she looks like a "real", human woman.

What's the problem...?

:XI: · Jan 3, 2003, 09:18 AM

what's worse:
a) a person that only dates good looking people.

b) a person that thinks all the good looking people are stupid and/or shallow

huh? huh?

a wise person once said: "whatever floats yer boat, dude."

wdlove · Jan 3, 2003, 12:52 PM

Its all about procreation, the female body that's best suited for the task. That's what causes the male attraction!

thePurpleGiant, I think you ahve found a real winner on all counts. Good luck for a future relationship. Keep us informed.

For a long term relationship, being happy, personality counts.

foot · Jan 3, 2003, 04:31 PM

"in my sexual fantasy's no one loves me for my mind"

hawiken · Jan 4, 2003, 03:52 AM

I was talking to a friend of mine one day, and he said,"You know, it took me years to find a woman who was ugly enough to marry."
So I bit, and asked, "Bob, why would you look so long for an ugly woman, and then marry her?"
He said, "Well, if you marry a pretty woman, next thing you know, she finds some guy who's better looking than you, or has more money than you, and she'll run off."
I said, "But Bob, an ugly woman can run off on you, too..."
He said,"Yeah, that's true, but if she's ugly, who gives a f**k?"

Sven G · Jan 4, 2003, 07:58 AM

Originally posted by wdlove:
Its all about procreation, the female body that's best suited for the task. That's what causes the male attraction!

Tsk, tsk, tsk...

I'm not so sure about this procreation "fact": how do you explain, for example, that very often the most "desired" part of the fe/male body is the ass (not only men finding women's ass irresistible, but also, often, the reverse!)...? (Besides the more obvious things like eyes, hair and skin, of course: see also the omgwtfbbq girls pic, BTW...)

AB^2=BCxAC · Apr 18, 2003, 09:52 AM

Originally posted by :XI::
what's worse:
a) a person that only dates good looking people.

b) a person that thinks all the good looking people are stupid and/or shallow

huh? huh?

A - definitely the worst. B is just sanity. It's been said that good looking people get severely screwed up in the head due to the baseless attention they get.

PB2K · Apr 18, 2003, 10:15 AM

I just can't stand people asking me what I am about to do.
An ugly girl who would hide herself from public all day and keep herself busy by eating twinkies and pushing the buttons of the remote control, has a pretty high risk of becoming nosy and jaleous. I don't need those phonecalls to keep her informed of my where-abouts.

Now I am not saying all the ugly girls are lazy, fat, dumb women. Some of them have a wonderful sense of humour, and an intellect to match mine, but I would always prefer someone who balances my high expectations and dreams in an interesting way.

I don't think I will find the girl of my dreams anywhere soon. She should be :

goodlooking (lovely, not like a trained pornstar with fake everything)
smart (in her opinions)
interesting (in her experiences)
daring (to just do stuff)
independent (not need me, just appreciate my company)
and have a stable personality

I've met a few girls like these while travelling. I don't expect to find them in a disco.
I have plenty of time, life is good to me right now, I could say : "I can wait" but I won't. because I am too busy with myself to *need* another person.

Zimmerman · Apr 18, 2003, 10:22 AM

Gee, TPG, where's your malfunction? From that image you posted, she looks to be quite the gal, and not at all bad looking. She isn't a trophy to parade in front of your pals, but that is a lousy reason for a girlfriend/wife in the first place.

She looks like a quality gal, Jeremy. The fact that you are puzzling of these things should actually be an indicator. People usually answer their own questions

.

PS. Can I come to the wedding?

tintub · Apr 18, 2003, 10:38 AM

best topic title ever

ndptal85 · Apr 18, 2003, 10:55 AM

Do NOT show her this thread. Despite what you think no girl likes to hear she isn't "hot" or isn't as "hot" as your ex girlfriends.

She will NOT take it as a compliment to her personality. So whenever she visits you make sure your computer is off or at least the browser is not on these forums.

snerdini · Apr 18, 2003, 11:41 AM

Originally posted by ndptal85:
Do NOT show her this thread. Despite what you think no girl likes to hear she isn't "hot" or isn't as "hot" as your ex girlfriends.

She will NOT take it as a compliment to her personality. So whenever she visits you make sure your computer is off or at least the browser is not on these forums.

How true, how true.

Hawkeye_a · Apr 18, 2003, 04:21 PM

Eck...reminds me of a situation i was in a year or so ago.
2 girls....one was a 9er the other a 6er. both were very interested...
9er liked me cause she thought i was 'popular'. 6er liked me cause she thought i was rich. which one do i choose ? neither. lol.... just seemed to superficially(whatever that may mean) based. Apart from being on homo-suspicion since, i dont regret my decision.

I did however, around the same time, meet a great girl, i never thought she was good looking, but didnt think she was too bad. She kinda grew on me like a fungus.... we had a treamondous amount of stuff in common which, honestly scared me. ended up with her telling me, she only dated football players(which i am not).

Moral ? you meet someone you like for whatever reasons......superficial(by your standards or others') or not... dont pass up the opportunity to get to know them. you never know....

Carpadium (spell?)

Captain Obvious · Apr 18, 2003, 04:47 PM

Originally posted by AB^2=BCxAC:
A - definitely the worst. B is just sanity. It's been said that good looking people get severely screwed up in the head due to the baseless attention they get.

Actually, you have it wrong. Attractive people tend to be better socially developed because they are treated better by their peers. As a result they tend to have better self esteem and confidence giving them the ability to take on greater challenges and given more opportunities. As a general rule they tend to be more successful in life. I think what you said is what ugly people tell themselves to feel better. I'll dig up the references to the studies later this weekend when I get some time.

BlackGriffen · Apr 18, 2003, 05:29 PM

Originally posted by Hawkeye_a:

Carpadium (spell?)

Carpe Diem - "Seize the Day!"

I see Captain Superficial himself has decided to join the thread

. Just admit that it could go either way (treated too well -> spoiled, treated too poorly -> self esteem issues).

TPG, time for an update, man. You two still cloud walking or what?

Your story warms this old cynic's heart.

BlackGriffen

Aragorn · Apr 18, 2003, 05:51 PM

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Captain Obvious · Apr 18, 2003, 06:01 PM

Originally posted by BlackGriffen:
Carpe Diem - "Seize the Day!"

I see Captain Superficial himself has decided to join the thread . Just admit that it could go either way (treated too well -> spoiled, treated too poorly -> self esteem issues).

BlackGriffen

Ooooh right, Blackgriffy. Yeah I remember and I get it, your chubby and you like it. That's great but this wasn't about weight. As I said there are some cases where people succeed in spite of obstacles set in front of them. In fact I am sure some of the ill will showed upon ugly people blooms into motivation for them to succeed. And yes, I know there are very attractive people who are dumb as rocks and skate through life but Mike will pay their way through Jr. college while hey work as strippers. So they are covered.

BUT as a general rule being treated better by others acts as reinforcement to a person's self esteem and helps them in life. And like I said that preferential treatment also opens doors for them because people give them more opportunities. It's not my fault the general public like more attractive people. In fact this whole thread is about how you can like someone even though they aren't "as beautiful" as what the author is accustomed to because they are such a good person. Good for him, good for her. But my point about how the world helps those who are better looking is still quite valid, even where you live. Post all the rolly eyes you want it's the truth.

thePurpleGiant · Apr 19, 2003, 12:05 AM

WHoa! This is a blast from the past!

Note the date of the first post was december 2002!

I'm not sure what was wrong with me at the time. She is in fact very good looking, but my whole point was, this was irrelevant to me, as she more than made up for that with her personality.

Fast forward to today and we have been going out for a few months now, the hour and a half distance hasn't caused any trouble at all.

I now realise how much more there is to her than I originally knew. She is very talented (plays 3 instruments damn well), very funny (puts me to shame!), quirky, adventurous, caring, well respected, genuine, honest, fun, determined, independant yet not 'too independent' to share meaningful time together, confident yet defintely not arrogant, very very smart.

Didn't quite expect this thread to get bumped after so long! Have no doubts,I think she is amazing looking now too. What the hell was wrong with me 5 months ago??

Ah good times

PS: Zim, I have marked your invite as a 'to do' many years from now.

7Macfreak · Apr 19, 2003, 12:56 AM

Originally posted by tintub:
best topic title ever

noooo
the best one was "please help! local dealer screwing my friend"