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aberdeenwriter · 01:50 AM

Anna Benson and new Orioles pitching hubby, Kris, want to "CHRISTEN" every city?
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Anyone have a problem with this?

http://www.annabenson.net/

http://www.deadspin.com/sports/baseb...ams-150159.php

http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/archives/8737
Anna Benson Needs Sex
Posted by James Joyner at 12:02
Women of Player

Anna Benson has issues … with major League Baseball. Not the kind Pete Rose faces but ones that are far more personal. The wife of Pittsburgh Pirate ace Kris Benson has made it her mission to take on one of sport’s oldest taboos: No sex before a game.

“I hate it. There’s no scientific proof that sex is going to hurt your pitching performance,” says Anna. But she’s fighting an uphill battle that dates back decades. Advocates of abstaining prior to competition are legion and range from trainers to coaches to athletes. But Anna persists.

“Each player has his own ritual, and Kris’s is no sex when he pitches. It pisses me off because if you tell me I can’t have something then that just makes me want it more. I like having sex with Kris. We’ve had some pretty nasty fights over this issue.”

The upside to her personal crusade is that she believes she has found the cure to the curse facing every pro athlete’s wife: groupies. Her simple solution: sex.

“Sex is healthy and wonderful,” Anna says. “And we like it. But we do it with each other, and we stay within the promises we made when we were married.” Sex is not only healthy for the Bensons, it’s also a personal adventure, one that Kris and Anna don’t mind talking about. “If what we have to say helps other couples, then that’s a good thing,” Anna says.

So what do the Bensons do to keep their sex life so exciting? Pretty much whatever they feel like. “We like video taping ourselves while having sex,” Anna says. “It’s a lot of fun making sex tapes. We share them only with each other. I mean, what guy doesn’t want to videotape himself and his woman having sex? All men want to.” Another of the couple’s aphrodisiacs is phone sex. “Every time Kris goes out of town, one of the first things we do is get on the phone and have phone sex. It’s still the two of us. The only difference is a phone and a movie going on.”

Then, of course, there is the more obvious solution. “Sometimes I’ll fly to whatever city where the Pirates are playing, and if Kris isn’t pitching then we have sex.” These road trips are a part of a nationwide quest for the couple. “We want to christen every city that Kris has played in during his professional career,” Anna says. “We have a ways to go, but that’s something we want to do. We haven’t even done it at the new stadium in Pittsburgh [PNC Park], but I’m sure we’ll get that done.”

The Pirates’ old home, legendary Three Rivers Stadium, was site of one of the couple’s more bizarre encounters. “We hadn’t had sex for a few days so we got into the back seat of our SUV in the parking lot at Three Rivers and while we were doing it fans were beating on the windows,” Anna says. The vehicle had tinted windows so the Bensons continued their business. “We finished screwing then Kris got out and greeted the fans. Hell, I’m not stopping sex with my man so some overzealous fan can have an autograph!”

And no matter how much energy he may exert during the game, Kris knows he has a follow-up performance when he steps off the field.

“After Kris has pitched in a game, we’re usually half naked before we get home and then we get after it. We’ve even pulled over and had sex on the way home.”

So the next time you see Kris Benson giving it his all on the mound for the Pirates, remember … his night is still very young.

Ghoser777 · Jan 23, 2006, 08:54 PM

There should be more women like that.

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 08:59 PM

yeah, so?

aberdeenwriter · Jan 23, 2006, 09:03 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

yeah, so?

So you have no problem with this, right?

nredman · Jan 23, 2006, 09:03 PM

she sure likes to kiss and tell - way too much info lady

SpaceMonkey · Jan 23, 2006, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

So you have no problem with this, right?

Do you have a problem with everything? I assure you that someone, somewhere, in your city is having sex. Right now.

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

So you have no problem with this, right?

they have what seems to be a healthy and loving marriage. i don't know that it needed to be discussed in public, but hey, sharing that info got a thread started on a random message board on the internet.

or are you particularly upset with the word Christen? you'd think you would have learned the lingo that us "whipper-snappers" use while you were robbing the cradle.

aberdeenwriter · Jan 23, 2006, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

they have what seems to be a healthy and loving marriage. i don't know that it needed to be discussed in public, but hey, sharing that info got a thread started on a random message board on the internet.

or are you particularly upset with the word Christen? you'd think you would have learned the lingo that us "whipper-snappers" use while you were robbing the cradle.

You have crossed the line. Legally.

nredman · Jan 23, 2006, 09:17 PM

this thread is going places

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 09:20 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

You have crossed the line. Legally.

yeah yeah yeah, i'm a foreign agent too.

she's hot and i'm sure that there was a time where she too was a baseball groupie. all that sets her apart is that she said this publicly.

xi_hyperon · Jan 23, 2006, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

they have what seems to be a healthy and loving marriage. i don't know that it needed to be discussed in public, but hey, sharing that info got a thread started on a random message board on the internet.

or are you particularly upset with the word Christen? you'd think you would have learned the lingo that us "whipper-snappers" use while you were robbing the cradle.

ReggieX · Jan 23, 2006, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

So you have no problem with this, right?

I don't. What's YOUR problem with two married adults wanting to have sex?

rickey939 · Jan 23, 2006, 09:29 PM

theolein · Jan 23, 2006, 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

You have crossed the line. Legally.

Man, so many people have crossed your lines, I can understand that you're pissed. Coke isn't cheap enough to just throw away.

Dork. · Jan 23, 2006, 09:34 PM

I'm sorry to see Kris go, he's a good pitcher. But he'll get the chance to be the ace in Baltimore, and this (and the Jae Seo trade) gives Aaron Heilman a spot in the Mets rotation while bolstering our bullpen. We had seven or eight starting pitchers on the roster heading into the off-season, so we knew there'd be some changes. Sometimes you have to give up quality to get quality, after all.

Wait, this thread is about baseball, right?

Artful Dodger · Jan 23, 2006, 09:35 PM

I heard anabolic steroids usage is a proven way to get those testosterone level up again after sex. Someone should tell the MLB players this useful tip.

Cadaver · Jan 23, 2006, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by rickey939

Come on, Rickey. You know things are just like this for you when you play, right?

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 09:37 PM

i love this thread.

quote this post

rickey939 · Jan 23, 2006, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by Cadaver

Come on, Rickey. You know things are just like this for you when you play, right?

I knew I missed the majors for some reason or another.

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

i love this thread.

quote this post

http://i4.cashmoneyuploads.com/img/Picture_1fd8.png

Ghoser777 · Jan 23, 2006, 09:57 PM

I love the phrase cash money.

xi_hyperon · Jan 23, 2006, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

http://i4.cashmoneyuploads.com/img/Picture_1fd8.png

Wow. Two classic threads within a couple of days.

MindFad · Jan 23, 2006, 10:12 PM

There's no way these threads are for real.

theolein · Jan 23, 2006, 10:17 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

http://i4.cashmoneyuploads.com/img/Picture_1fd8.png

I'm kind of speechless. Aberdeen is really losing it.

paul w · Jan 23, 2006, 10:35 PM

By just posting in this thread, I'm becoming a part of internet history.

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 10:48 PM

the "

" was a link. sneaky sneaky.

but wait, there's more-
http://i4.cashmoneyuploads.com/img/Picture_2fff.png

wolfen · Jan 23, 2006, 10:59 PM

Where do I get my aberdeenwriter T-shirt? Is there some kind of newsletter?

ThisGuy · Jan 23, 2006, 11:18 PM

Hello there. I don't post here much anymore, but this thread is hilarryus. I think I am going to sue the person who posts below me. I already find what he/she will write as being highly offensive to me and my family. Good day.

PurpleGiant · Jan 23, 2006, 11:32 PM

Oh man. So now I'm getting sued too? I knew I should never have messed with this 'internet' thing.

theolein · Jan 23, 2006, 11:33 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

the "

" was a link. sneaky sneaky.

but wait, there's more-
http://i4.cashmoneyuploads.com/img/Picture_2fff.png

DAN!!!!! Don't do it!!!! Think of the child... oops

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 11:33 PM

bring it. i'll have my lawyer contact the both off you.

theolein · Jan 23, 2006, 11:34 PM

And I'll have my lawyer sue the internet!

goMac · Jan 23, 2006, 11:41 PM

Originally Posted by theolein

And I'll have my lawyer sue the internet!

Poor Al Gore.

aberdeenwriter · Jan 23, 2006, 11:45 PM

Actually, this thread was meant as a red-herring. I wanted to find out what everyone thought about the subject but I didn't want to come right out and say what my thoughts were. Instead, I wanted to see what you all THOUGHT my sensibilities were.

My suspicions were right. You misperceive me and you misperceive information and data seemingly everywhere and in every way possible. Some of you can be counted on to jump to conclusions without having anything to go on but your own, often incorrect, suppositions.

I stated in the Bowie thread, and it is evidenced by my support for Howard Stern, that I have no problem with healthy, consensual, legal sexual activity.

So, with the benefit of a written statement of my position in one thread, and an allusion to my sensibilities in another thread and no definitive evidence to go on in this thread (but your own fuzzy reasoning) you STILL were unable to read things correctly.

So, with this thread your powers of observation and credibility have been demonstrated to be zero.

It may not mean much to you, but whenever you post something we'll all know not to take it seriously.

xi_hyperon · Jan 23, 2006, 11:45 PM

Sue everybody! </sol rosenberg>

xi_hyperon · Jan 23, 2006, 11:47 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

Actually, this thread was meant as a red-herring. I wanted to find out what everyone thought about the subject but I didn't want to come right out and say what my thoughts were. Instead, I wanted to see what you all THOUGHT my sensibilities were.

My suspicions were right. You misperceive me and you misperceive information and data seemingly everywhere and in every way possible. Some of you can be counted on to jump to conclusions without having anything to go on but your own, often incorrect, suppositions.

I stated in the Bowie thread, and it is evidenced by my support for Howard Stern, that I have no problem with healthy, consensual, legal sexual activity.

So, with the benefit of a written statement of my position in one thread, and an allusion to my sensibilities in another thread and no definitive evidence to go on in this thread (but your own fuzzy reasoning) you STILL were unable to read things correctly.

So, with this thread your powers of observation and credibility have been demonstrated to be zero.

It may not mean much to you, but whenever you post something we'll all know not to take it seriously.

lame owned pic snipped

Cool. In other (and far fewer) words, you were flamebaiting.

Congrats. Now EVERYONE knows how seriously to take you. Nice job.

aberdeenwriter · Jan 23, 2006, 11:53 PM

Originally Posted by xi_hyperon

Cool. In other (and far fewer) words, you were flamebaiting.

Nope. Wrong again. As usual. So why not stick to the topic and use your brain and behave rationally? You'll do yourself a favor.

xi_hyperon · Jan 23, 2006, 11:57 PM

Yeah, I know. You meant for this to happen. Ok.

Keep trying.

d4nth3m4n · Jan 23, 2006, 11:59 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

Actually, this thread was meant as a red-herring. I wanted to find out what everyone thought about the subject but I didn't want to come right out and say what my thoughts were. Instead, I wanted to see what you all THOUGHT my sensibilities were.

My suspicions were right. You misperceive me and you misperceive information and data seemingly everywhere and in every way possible. Some of you can be counted on to jump to conclusions without having anything to go on but your own, often incorrect, suppositions.

I stated in the Bowie thread, and it is evidenced by my support for Howard Stern, that I have no problem with healthy, consensual, legal sexual activity.

So, with the benefit of a written statement of my position in one thread, and an allusion to my sensibilities in another thread and no definitive evidence to go on in this thread (but your own fuzzy reasoning) you STILL were unable to read things correctly.

So, with this thread your powers of observation and credibility have been demonstrated to be zero.

It may not mean much to you, but whenever you post something we'll all know not to take it seriously.

wow, well i'm glad you've cleared that one up. why did you leave for a while there? think you could do that one again?

aberdeenwriter · Jan 24, 2006, 12:00 AM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

wow, well i'm glad you've cleared that one up. why did you leave for a while there? think you could do that one again?

What do you mean?

d4nth3m4n · Jan 24, 2006, 12:04 AM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

What do you mean?

it might be time to go on leave again. here, let me get you started

http://www.imahotlegallolitawhoisloo...sugardaddy.com

go get 'em.

aberdeenwriter · Jan 24, 2006, 12:13 AM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

it might be time to go on leave again. here, let me get you started

http://www.imahotlegallolitawhoisloo...sugardaddy.com

go get 'em.

You are sick and mean spirited. Do you really want me as an enemy?

paul w · Jan 24, 2006, 12:26 AM

:raises hand:

OOH OOH Choose me! Choose me!

No wait, let's be friends.!

Either way, don't change a thing!

d4nth3m4n · Jan 24, 2006, 12:27 AM

i don't have time to have internet enemies. you're on a roll lately though.

aberdeenwriter · Jan 24, 2006, 12:54 AM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

i don't have time to have internet enemies. you're on a roll lately though.

Just remember this.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
Confucius
Chinese philosopher & reformer (551 BC - 479 BC)

And respect your elders.

d4nth3m4n · 01:15 AM

what's to respect?

what, just because you were younger than i am now when i was born doesn't strike me as a solid reason to not call you out. try not baiting the forum if you want respect.

edited to be a little less mean.

ShortcutToMoncton · Jan 24, 2006, 01:06 AM

My girlfriend and I are going on a little rural-Ontario resort trip over my Reading Week break. Apparently our cottage has 3 bedrooms, and we have to christen every one the first night and decide which one's best.

I'm looking forward to it.

greg

aberdeenwriter · Jan 24, 2006, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

what's to respect?

How about respecting confidences? You have no honor, man. You squealed like a pig on the PM you sent. You snitched on the person responsible for spreading bogus information about me like a crack addict in exchange for a fix.

Your sig image makes you look like a Marilyn Manson wannabe. Your handle makes you look dyslexic.

Well, whatever your name is, I humbly advise you to stop this now. Nothing good will come of it for anyone.

aberdeenwriter · Jan 24, 2006, 01:16 AM

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton

My girlfriend and I are going on a little rural-Ontario resort trip over my Reading Week break. Apparently our cottage has 3 bedrooms, and we have to christen every one the first night and decide which one's best.

I'm looking forward to it.

greg

Chuckit · Jan 24, 2006, 01:17 AM

Wow, aberdeenwriter is on his way to the hall of fame. Watch out, Ca$h!