 |
 |
Bizarre Search Queries?
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Chicago, IL USA
Status:
Offline
|
|
I know we've got a fair crowd of web site designers/owners lurking here, so I figured I'd pose this question here. In digging through your referrer logs, what strange/bizarre/perverse search queries have you found that lead people to your site?
I'll start off with the one I just found this afternoon. Someone came across an essay I had posted to my site discussing the Medieval works Iwein and Gawein and the Green Knight. What did they search for?
"gay initiation stories"
|
|
Safe in the womb of an everlasting night
You find the darkness can give the brightest light.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator  Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
good topic. i think i may take the cake on this one. but i'll start off small. i get this search string every single day:
nude russell crowe
and no, i don't have any pictures of mr.crowe, nude or otherwise on my site. it's mostly people searching from outside the US too. the interesting things you learn from apache logs....
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:40 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Charlotte NC USA
Status:
Offline
|
|
my list only shows the most popular 25 out of 36,944 total. I'm guessing every word known to man doesn't add up to 36,944.
interestingly, the 9th most popular 'word' was 2.0 - hmmm
the most popular? download
this is from a rather unique computer hardware/distributed computing/overclocking site.
|
|
*empty space*
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
another one:
"5+jpg+little+boys"
this one kind of scares me.
no idea what this person was looking for, but they didn't find it.
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:41 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: California
Status:
Offline
|
|
from one of my monthly reports:
#199 of top 200: pill bottle pictures
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: Jun 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
i had 13 seperate searches for uncle liza
who ever that is ??
[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: dark flask ]
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: May 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
There's a whole website devoted to this topic at Disturbing Search Requests.
It's some of the funniest sh*t I've ever read.
[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: Ralph_J ]
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator Emeritus  Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Austin, MN, USA
Status:
Offline
|
|
What, do sites like Google tell your site what they searched for?
I don't know how it works. I'm no webmaster. Can anyone explain?
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Regular
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Earth
Status:
Offline
|
|
"QTVR Porn" & "Photoshop Beer Effect"
are two of the most strange searches I've had recently. I have neither on my site and I don't know what the hell a 'beer effect' is...
Xeo - my web server generates a daily log which I download and run through a web log analyzer program ( Summary)that generates all kind of useful reports such as what searches people did to reach the site, and of course how many hits and what pages are linking to your site.
[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: C-Eye ]
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
the disturbing thing isn't that one person was possessed to search for this in google:
elephant testicles
..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far.
and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles.
why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for?
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:41 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator Emeritus  Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Night's Plutonian shore...
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Demonhood:
the disturbing thing isn't that one person was possessed to search for this in google:
elephant testicles
..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far.
and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles.
why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for?
I would have to say they ar looking for animal balls....
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:43 PM.
)
|
|
Nemo me impune lacesset
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posting Junkie
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Cape Cod, MA
Status:
Offline
|
|
If I had a dollar for everytime I've searched for various animals testicles then I'd have......about zero dollars.
I want to smack the person that typed in squirell testicles.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
there are strange individuals in this world.
in all fairness, i do have those phrases in text on my page. i used them to make jokes about a trip i took to yosemite. but i'd rather someone search for "squirrel pictures" or "yosemite nature pictures" (had a few of these) rather than anything testicle related.
here's one for a service i most certainly don't offer:
contract killer
at least...not anymore.
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:43 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Irvine, CA
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by C-Eye:
"Photoshop Beer Effect"
I do believe that they were looking for Albert's signature.
 Pioneering the Drunken Circle tool since 2001.
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:48 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Admin Emeritus  Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: New Yawk
Status:
Offline
|
|
Truly hilarious.
Read this from weblogs' Disturbing Search Requests:
I like to joke with him about his "unhealthy" worship of unattainable women but who am I kidding? If Katie Holmes showed up at my door crocked to the gills on tequila and asked me to perform lewd and lascivious acts (with her of course) I wouldn't say "sorry sweetie, in your drunken stupor you knocked on the wrong apartment door."
(The original search was for "Rose McGowan getting ****ed" but this commentary bit is much funnier, hee hee.)
(And Demonhood, you got some *weird* people going to your site, man...)
|
|
"Do not be too positive about things. You may be in error." (C. F. Lawlor, The Mixicologist)
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Status:
Offline
|
|
I thought I'd been getting away pretty clean, but then I got this hit from a Swedish search engine:
My Little Pony Hate Page
From this, I can only conclude that Swedes have a lot of pent-up frustration, possibly from trying to use the plastic tweezers in their little knives.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: boulder, co
Status:
Offline
|
|
On the Harker Student Site (http://web.harker.org/) we had "How be a harker?"
?!
|
|
Ad Astra Per Aspera - Semper Exploro
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA USA
Status:
Offline
|
|
Hehehhee, this is a cool thread.
A few years back, i was reading a 2600 and some dude sent a letter in saying he found a site that was a security hole in some major search engine. The result? You saw what people were requesting, all in your web broser! My friend and I spent an hour reading some of the hits, we were laughing our asses off! Though we did get a little freaked out at times.
If I can find the issue, I'll post the link, funny ass **** . If anyone out there knows what I am talking about, feel free to post the link.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
all leg related, all true:
pictures of people with out legs
shaking your legs
oh wow, just found this one:
legs jiggle jiggling shake shaking bounce bouncing wiggle wiggling -girl -woman -women -breasts -female
that one is courtesy of excite (the rest belong to google).
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:55 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
if nobody else has any, i'll keep on going 
these are from today's logs:
amusement+park+flasher
(i'm number 2 on google!)
nude+underwater+woman+picture
this is the problem with having the word NUDE anywhere on your webpage. that, and my sarcastic picture quotes keep getting taken literally by the search engine. those people looking for amusement park flashers will be very disappointed by my site.
{edit}
hey, look at that. my 500th post has the word nude in it. i feel so proud.
{/edit}
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:57 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
still keeping it alive...
contortionist
widowmaker (?? maybe related to the contract killer hits i keep getting)
mac internet explorer download manager http redirect location php (yes, that was the search query they used)
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:59 PM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Gosport
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Harpy:
...I can only conclude that Swedes have a lot of pent-up frustration, possibly from trying to use the plastic tweezers in their little knives.
That is Swiss Army knives, and the Swiss are from Switzerland! Swedes are from Sweden, and AFAIK Swedish Army Knives are not very famous!
Chris. T.
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Feb 26, 2003 at 05:59 PM.
)
|
|
Chris. T.
"... in 6 months if WMD are found, I hope all clear-thinking people who opposed the war will say "You're right, we were wrong -- good job". Similarly, if after 6 months no WMD are found, people who supported the war should say the same thing -- and move to impeach Mr. Bush." - moki, 04/16/03
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
topic bumped and cleaned up a bit.
will post some queries i've gotten over the past 2 years once i sort thru my logfiles a bit more.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
My new weblogs don't show search queries, but the one I remember from my last system was "Quick+ways+to+assasinate+your+boss"
God damn there are some creepy people on the net
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
lick suck drink
ranked #2
it's appropriate, but i don't think it will "satisfy' the person doing the query.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
shaking legs
rank: #3
nothing too perverse about that one.
braveheart costume
rank: #1 on google image
a very old and bad photoshop job on my part. quite popular search around halloween.
where do pickles come from?
rank: #2 on hotbot
guess some teenage pickle has parents that don't communicate with it.
enema experiment
rank: #12
an experiment in WTFology
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Dundee, Scotland
Status:
Offline
|
|
Someone found my site with this:
where to find sex pictures egypt or online girls from egypt
don't know how. I've never even been to egypt.
;-)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
"down the pants"
rank: #66 on google image with safesearch on
my site lacks many things. nudity being one of them.
(similar to one of my previous ones)
lick suck slide
rank: #1
it's good to be the king. well, probably not in a case like this.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Toronto
Status:
Offline
|
|
<tangent>
Apart from the obvious ones, I appear to have people visiting me using Amigas. And why anyone on web TV would want to access my site escapes me. It's my portfolio, so only relevant to very few people, the vast majority of whom do not use the telly to access the net 
Better get that early browser warning page up there
no.: reqs: OS
---: ------: --
1: 119514: Windows
: 66685: Windows 98
: 27616: Windows 2000
: 13824: Windows NT
: 9794: Windows 95
: 1422: Unknown Windows
: 106: Windows 32-bit
: 66: Windows 3.1
: 1: Windows 16-bit
2: 37033: Macintosh
: 36951: Macintosh PowerPC
: 80: Macintosh 68k
: 2: Unknown Macintosh
3: 10386: OS unknown
4: 612: Unix
: 406: Linux
: 155: IRIX
: 48: SunOS
: 2: BSD
: 1: HP-UX
5: 89: WebTV
6: 25: RISC OS
7: 16: Amiga
8: 15: OS/2
</tangent>
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posting Junkie
Join Date: Sep 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
Bahahaha, I forgot all about those pics. Good stuff. Juan's a pro at that tune. 
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: California
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Demonhood:
and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles.
why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for?
Probably someone who had been browsing FARK.com. There's a picture that posters there frequently use in their Photoshop contest entries, which is a squirrell prominently displaying his, um, nuts.
And from that site Ralph_J linked to:
"rate me while i f**k my cat"
WTF? 
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Capital city of the Empire State.
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Demonhood:
the disturbing thing isn't that one person was possessed to search for this in google:
elephant testicles
..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far.
and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles.
why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for?
Recipes?
|
|
/mal
"I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you cheer up."
MacBook Pro 15" w/ Mac OS 10.8.2, iPhone 4S & iPad 4th-gen. w/ iOS 6.1.2
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posting Junkie
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Patrick:
Probably someone who had been browsing FARK.com. There's a picture that posters there frequently use in their Photoshop contest entries, which is a squirrell prominently displaying his, um, nuts.
The picture in question:
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
query: american history x quotes sex next week girlfriend fight
rank: #1
pretty specific. what they found on my site was a simple reference to the movie. and, i'm sure, repeated use of the word 'quotes', 'sex', 'next', 'week', and 'fight', in separate places.
query: men wearing phillips panties
rank: 124
wait...what?
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Capital city of the Empire State.
Status:
Offline
|
|
So, are those panties manufactured by Phillips the famous electronics company, or panties belonging to someone named Phillip?
Please clarify.
|
|
/mal
"I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you cheer up."
MacBook Pro 15" w/ Mac OS 10.8.2, iPhone 4S & iPad 4th-gen. w/ iOS 6.1.2
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Austin, MN, USA
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Xeo:
What, do sites like Google tell your site what they searched for?
I don't know how it works. I'm no webmaster. Can anyone explain?
I am now... 
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
query: give me back my guts photo
rank: 4
thoughts: no, they're mine!!! all mine!!! you spilled em, fair and square.
(
Last edited by Demonhood; Jun 1, 2005 at 01:55 AM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
hahahahahaha, best one yet:
query: pineapple slices on a penis
rank: #1
thoughts: hahahahahahahahahaha
this is the result, in case anyone wondered.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Jan 2003
Status:
Offline
|
|
Lets see here:
Chinese pancakes
star wars sex fetish (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
arrested jail cavity me
bofunk
yams yams yams
boobs piano
mastrap
g4me
online losers (HAHAHHAHHA)
rectom
girls school swim naked
bail bond girl
teh gibson (OMG OMGOMGOGFFLROFLROGGF)
being stripped video naked
blog unsw roundhouse (WTF)
catholic schoolgirls in trouble video
collage girl blow job
collage girl **** in school
enema buzz
the french suck (amelie says otherwise)
big **** men knowing
do guys get pms (huh)
george bush is a **** (HAH)
san antonio under wear
lizzie mcguire naked (yes please)
bitfly (oh dear...)
porn on disney channel
Oh, and the site which takes all these queries, is OMGWTFBBQ.net.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
query: dildos strap onto nose
rank: 3
thoughts: well, i suppose that could be useful. but i'm fresh out, sorry.
query: harry wong quotes
rank: 3
thoughts: sorry, all i have is shaven wong quotes.
query: whorehouse of the immortals
rank: 2
thoughts: right this way mr.macleod.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
query: diapers powered by gallery
rank: 28
thoughts: and all these years i thought that diapers were powered by fecal matter.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Landlockinated
Status:
Offline
|
|
Demonhood, you certainly have more interesting logs than I have... damn that sounds perverted.
Maybe I should go google "Demonhood's Log"
|
|
[ sig removed - image host changed it to a big ad picture ]
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Guidance Counselor's Office
Status:
Offline
|
|
I have no site, I have no life, I have no squirrel testes (until late November), but dammit, for the love of all that is good and sweet in this world... keep. posting. queries.
Now. About those gallery powered diapers. Can I ge them in bulk? At BJs perhaps?
|
I'm going to pull your head off because I don't like your head.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Kalifornia
Status:
Offline
|
|
I've never thought about checking my logs, but damn, there's another world out there inhabited by people I wouldn't want to know.
Here's what I found in my logs:
titro time travel 2036 1974 ibm
people who claim to time travel
suicide astral projection how
|
|
PIXAR Animation Studios
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Staffs, UK
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
query: can i sleep in my car
rank: 23
thoughts: yes, you can sleep in your car. hell, leave it running. that extra warmth sure makes ya drowsy, doesn't it.
query: funny birthday quotes for nuns
rank: 21
thoughts: i laughed at this because i imagined a nun sitting at a computer browsing my site full of perverse jokes.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Mar 2003
Status:
Offline
|
|
used trampolines
me suck want dog cocks
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Rochester, NY
Status:
Offline
|
|
This thread rules. One night I had a few too many to drink and loaded up LimeWire just to laugh historically at the incoming search results. It's quite entertaining.
|
|
|wishing is for suckers|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
The SEX Edition!
query: +lovemobile +sexy
rank: 8
thoughts: this one actually is my fault. the page this search leads to reads: "Hey sexy, wanna take a ride in my lovemobile?"
query: "how to spoon" sex
rank: 6
thoughts: why they added the word 'sex' to this query, i'm not sure. i should be thanking my lucky stars it wasn't "how to spork" sex.
query: monkey+sex+velveeta+motor+oil+with+parsnip+gravy
rank: N/A
thoughts: oh my. this wasn't entered into a search engine, but into the internal search for my photo gallery page. if i had one shread of hope left for mankind, it would have vanished. good thing i'm a cynic eh.
query: "do whales have sex?"
rank: 2
thoughts: short answer: yes. long answer: ask your parents. tell them to use hand puppets.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 
|
|
|
Forum Rules
|
|
|
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top