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Bizarre Mail Order Experiences
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subego
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
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Jul 20, 2011, 02:11 PM
 
Like, say, the guy on the phone screaming "KISS MY DICK!"

Not to me, but to the guy who messed up my order.
     
Waragainstsleep
Posting Junkie
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: UK
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Jul 20, 2011, 05:11 PM
 
Nothing to report from personal experience, but I always liked the idea for the scam mentioned in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels:

Step 1: Take out a magazine ad selling large dildos;
Step 2: Create a company bank account with a suitably embarrassing name like "Massive arse dildos international ltd" or similar;
Step 3: Whenever you get an order, pay the money into your account, but then return it to the customer (with a suitable excuse for why the order cannot be fulfilled) by writing a cheque with the company name prominently displayed.

If you sell your items for small amounts like £10-20 each, 90% of people will be too embarrassed to ever cash their refunds.

Genius. And entirely legal.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
subego  (op)
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Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
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Jul 20, 2011, 06:41 PM
 
Not a bad idea. ATM deposits make it tougher I'd imagine.

It might also work to "sell" stuff which is more popular, in addition to massive dildos.
     
Waragainstsleep
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Jul 20, 2011, 07:05 PM
 
As long as its something that justifies an embarrassing trading name it should work fine. Thats just the idea as presented in the film.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
subego  (op)
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Jul 20, 2011, 07:21 PM
 
No, I'm saying you pick both. Dildos so you can justify the name, and then something else which is going to do more volume.

I saw a picture on Reddit of a car with a sign on the side which proudly stated their company sells cell phones, body oil, and socks.
     
olePigeon
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Join Date: Dec 1999
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Jul 20, 2011, 07:25 PM
 
Originally Posted by Waragainstsleep View Post
Genius. And entirely legal.
Genius, yes, but not legal (at least in the U.S.) You'll probably be brought up on extortion charges because you never intended to sell the products in the first place. You're using the offensive name to keep their money.

Also, it starts with the company having a sensible name so the buyer feels secure in purchasing. Then you provide the refund using the alternate, offensive name.
"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
     
Waragainstsleep
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Jul 20, 2011, 07:47 PM
 
Yes, you're right. Probably about both things but extortion would be extremely tough to prove if you were clever/careful.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
brassplayersrock²
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: California
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Jul 20, 2011, 07:59 PM
 
     
Shaddim
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
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Jul 20, 2011, 08:00 PM
 
Tom: "Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's F***** Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er... I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's F***** Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!"

Bacon: "So how long do you have to wait for a return?"

Tom: "Probably no more than four weeks."

Bacon: "Well what good is that if we need it in six... no, five days?"

Tom: "Well it was still a good idea."

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
     
   
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