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What would Jesus drive?
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Baninated
Join Date: Jul 2005
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I say... hrm... it'd have to be comfy, and it wouldn't have to be all that fast, or badass. Just something classy to help pick up the ladies, and respectable.
I say an old chrysler 300.
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Posting Junkie
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I don't think it would matter what he drove, now would it?
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Judging the area where he's from, including the (political) climate, I would say an armored four-wheel drive vehicle.
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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
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Baninated
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Yeah, it would. Whatever kind of car he was driving, it's value would skyrocket all over the country. I suppose he could always fly like neo...but... meh, I bet he'd prefer to drive. Speaking of the matrix, an old continental would suit him also.
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for obvious he'd drive the Jesusmobile 
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Baninated
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Originally Posted by OreoCookie
Judging the area where he's from, including the (political) climate, I would say an armored four-wheel drive vehicle.
dude. He can rise from the dead. He could get shot at a million times and not care. Besides, he always taught us to turn the other cheek, not protect yourself with armor.
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Professional Poster
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Originally Posted by suvsr4terrorists
I say... hrm... it'd have to be comfy, and it wouldn't have to be all that fast, or badass. Just something classy to help pick up the ladies, and respectable.
I say an old chrysler 300.
Well, let's see...
What did David Koresh drive? David said he was Jesus, didn't he?
I remember reading a quote by some bartender about Koresh in Newsweek when the whole Branch Davidian showdown was going on...
"Pretty rowdy behavior for Jesus. He'd get a buzz off beer and go squealing in the parking lot."
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Originally Posted by brapper
for obvious he'd drive the Jesusmobile
Look in the middle of that mess, just above the license plate. WTF does "Shell gasoline burns cleaner" have to do with Jesus??? 
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Originally Posted by suvsr4terrorists
Just something classy to help pick up the ladies, and respectable.
I hear he liked dudes.
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"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
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Baninated
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The van was really a shell propaganda stunt.
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Jesus had a mullet, therefore a 69 Camaro.
(
Last edited by CreepingDeth; Jul 13, 2005 at 03:36 PM.
Reason: Better Pic)
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Originally Posted by kmkkid
An H2 Hummer
No! H2s are for ladies. It'd be an H1. Open top.
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If it doesn't scare hippies, it's not worth listening to
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Baninated
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Originally Posted by Severed Hand of Skywalker
I hear he liked dudes.
Hrm, well considering his dad made everybody, maybe he swung both ways. In any case, chicks and gay dudes both dig old chrysler convertables, so it works.
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When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift.
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Mac Elite
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Welll he can't drive a stick shift thats for sure...
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I tried to sig-spam the forums.
ADVANTAGE Motorsports Marketing, Inc. • speedXdesign, Inc.
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Baninated
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Originally Posted by chris v
OOoooo neat idea.
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Clinically Insane
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Chuck
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"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
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Baninated
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Originally Posted by Chuckit
Why?
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Clinically Insane
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Actually, I just Googled "big SUV" and that was the first thing that came up.
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Chuck
___
"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
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He wouldn't drive. People would drive him around. He'd use whatever was available. Whatever someone owned who drove him around.
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Originally Posted by Railroader
He wouldn't drive. People would drive him around. He'd use whatever was available. Whatever someone owned who drove him around.
Exactly.
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Baninated
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a honda.
He and the Disciples were in one Accord.
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Baninated
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Meh. I think he'd have a personal ride as well. I bethca he'd enjoy cruising down the highway.
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bmw 750iL protection package.
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12" AI book REV B, mac mini core duo 1.66
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Banned
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Jesus owned pretty much nothing while he live on Earth. What makes you think he'd own a car?
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Baninated
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Originally Posted by Railroader
Jesus owned pretty much nothing while he live on Earth. What makes you think he'd own a car?
Most people didn't own much back then. Now everyone in the 'modern world' is a consumer. He'd be down, as long as it was fair trade and not completely wasteful.
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Posting Junkie
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Originally Posted by suvsr4terrorists
Most people didn't own much back then.
Yeah, right.
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Banned
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Even compared to everyone else, Jesus owned almost next to nothing. Compared to people today he owned zilch.
I think you are disillusioned if you think he would own a car today.
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Posting Junkie
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Isn't there a Commandment about not coveting?
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http://bible.gospelcom.net/passage/?...9#en-NASB-2069
Number ten:
Exodus 20:17 You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
But that is coveting. Not owning. Completely different.
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Originally Posted by karent
a honda.
He and the Disciples were in one Accord.
I lolled.
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When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift.
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Posting Junkie
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Originally Posted by Railroader
http://bible.gospelcom.net/passage/?...9#en-NASB-2069
Number ten:
Exodus 20:17 You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
But that is coveting. Not owning. Completely different.
Yes, and if Jesus did come back and needed a vehicle, would He get something that people would covet (and therefore sin by breaking a Commandment)? Or would He set an example?
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Pssssst. Kilby. It's a joke thread. Take it down a notch.
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Originally Posted by stevesnj
Welll he can't drive a stick shift thats for sure...
Tough to do that with sandals, loose strap or not.
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Mac Elite
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He was a man of the people. He liked people to approach him and talk to them.
Therefore,
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:: unibody macbook pro / 2.4 Ghz C2D / 6GB RAM / dell 2407wfp - X.6.3
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Originally Posted by Railroader
Jesus owned pretty much nothing while he live on Earth. What makes you think he'd own a car?
Next time, He's back for good and will own everything. 
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If it doesn't scare hippies, it's not worth listening to
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Posting Junkie
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Which Jesus? The real Jesus would probably ride the bus. The Jesus that some people seem to think they believe in would probably drive a Hummer painted up to promote his book.
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Mac Elite
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Originally Posted by stevesnj
Welll he can't drive a stick shift thats for sure...
Originally Posted by finboy
Tough to do that with sandals, loose strap or not.
Nah not that...how can you drive a stick shift with holes in your hands....duhhh
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1988 Dodge Aries...amen!
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Baninated
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Originally Posted by karent
a honda.
He and the Disciples were in one Accord.
BooOoOoOoOoooo
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He'd probably drive a tire iron up all y'alls asses for being sinners. God is a southerner, after all.
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Originally Posted by Zimphire
indeed, i wouldn't drive he would walk
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Clinically Insane
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"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
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Professional Poster
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Originally Posted by Kerrigan
He'd probably drive a tire iron up all y'alls asses for being sinners. God is a southerner, after all.
Best post of the thread. 
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Definitely not a penis extension like a Hummer.
When he was of driving age, he would need a flat bed truck, because he was a carpenter. At some point he became a scholar, so a Geo Metro would fit the bill. When he had a lot of followers, he would have needed a tour bus. After his crucifiction, he probably got a private plane. After resurrection, he had to drop the manual transmission, because of the holes in his hands.
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Mac Elite
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Originally Posted by The Godfather
After resurrection, he had to drop the manual transmission, because of the holes in his hands.
DUDE you stole my line....check my posts 
your the Godfather...Im 'A friend of yours' (amico) don't ever go against the family  
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