[Eynstyn]

Everyone loves Hillary jokes. Here's the thread starter. Feel free to list your favorites.

The Walking Eagle

Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the
American Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. She spoke for almost an
hour on her future plans for increasing every Native American's present
standard of living. She referred to her career as a US Senator, how she
had signed "YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to her desk
for approval.

Although the Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most
enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping her "red brothers." At
the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the senator with a
plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud
senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to
select the new name given to the senator. They explained that Walking
Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of **** it can no longer fly.

[Weyland-Yutani]

Se encuentran George Bush, Tony Blair y José Mari Aznar, en el infierno. Bush quer�*a saber como estaba el pais después de su partida y pidió permiso para usar el teléfono rojo que el Diablo ten�*a instalado y llamar a los EEUU. Éste le concedió la autorización y después de hablar durante 2 minutos. El diablo le dijo que el coste de la llamada eran 3 mil dolares, por lo que Bush hizo un cheque. Al enterarse, Tony Blair quiso hacer lo mismo y llamó a Inglaterra. Por 5 minutos de conversación el diablo le paso una cuenta de 2 mil libras José Mari también sintió deseos de llamar a España, para ver como estaban las cosas y habló durante 3 horas."Que le debo?" preguntó al terminar, "35 céntimos de euro" dijo el diablo. Aznar se quedó atónito, pués sab�*a el coste de las otras llamadas y le preguntó al Diablo por qué a el le era tan barato llamar a España... A lo que el diablo le respondió: "Mire usted ... Con la reforma del desempleo, el plan hidrológico, la lista de espera sanitaria, las pensiones, los impuestos indirectos, la subida del euro, la nueva regla para calcular la inflación, la inseguridad ciudadana, la ley de calidad de la enseñanza, las subvenciones a los colegios privados, las privatizaciones y la catástrofe del Prestige, España es un infierno y por tanto, es una llamada local.

[budster101]

Originally Posted by Weyland-Yutani

(Snip)

Look up at the title of the thread please.

[Eynstyn]

Originally Posted by Weyland-Yutani

Se encuentran George Bush, Tony Blair y José Mari Aznar, en el infierno. Bush quer�*a saber como estaba el pais después de su partida y pidió permiso para usar el teléfono rojo que el Diablo ten�*a instalado y llamar a los EEUU. Éste le concedió la autorización y después de hablar durante 2 minutos. El diablo le dijo que el coste de la llamada eran 3 mil dolares, por lo que Bush hizo un cheque. Al enterarse, Tony Blair quiso hacer lo mismo y llamó a Inglaterra. Por 5 minutos de conversación el diablo le paso una cuenta de 2 mil libras José Mari también sintió deseos de llamar a España, para ver como estaban las cosas y habló durante 3 horas."Que le debo?" preguntó al terminar, "35 céntimos de euro" dijo el diablo. Aznar se quedó atónito, pués sab�*a el coste de las otras llamadas y le preguntó al Diablo por qué a el le era tan barato llamar a España... A lo que el diablo le respondió: "Mire usted ... Con la reforma del desempleo, el plan hidrológico, la lista de espera sanitaria, las pensiones, los impuestos indirectos, la subida del euro, la nueva regla para calcular la inflación, la inseguridad ciudadana, la ley de calidad de la enseñanza, las subvenciones a los colegios privados, las privatizaciones y la catástrofe del Prestige, España es un infierno y por tanto, es una llamada local.

Xua, xua, xua. To the puppet stage is a local call.

[Weyland-Yutani]

Originally Posted by Eynstyn

Xua, xua, xua. To the puppet stage is a local call.

Yeah you know the í character showed up as an * but don't let that ruin the joke. It's good.

Keep fireing assholes!

[rambo47]

When Bill Clinton was still President:

President Clinton steps off the Presidential helicopter, just back from a trip home to Arkansas. Under each arm he's carrying a baby pig. As he steps down onto the ground, the Marine Seargant throws him a snappy salute and says, "Fine looking pigs, Mr. President."

Clinton stops dead in his tracks. "Pigs?!" "These aren't just pigs, Seargant. These are two of the finest examples of Arkansas Razorback hogs to be found anywhere!" The President continues, "I got this one (motions to the one under his left arm) for Hillary, and this one (motions to the one under his right) for Chelsea."

The Marine replies, "Nice trade, sir."

[Eynstyn]

Originally Posted by Weyland-Yutani

Yeah you know the í character showed up as an * but don't let that ruin the joke. It's good.

Keep fireing assholes!

Nobody care about Espana except Espaniels.

[Weyland-Yutani]

Gracias al Señor

[Eynstyn]

Originally Posted by Weyland-Yutani

Gracias al Señor

?o senorita

[Eynstyn]

Here's a Bill joke.

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and ! using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

[olePigeon]

Here's a great one.

Wait, that was real.

[budster101]

Eynstyn: Again, this is a HILLARY CLINTON JOKE Thread... can you read?

[undotwa]

Originally Posted by Weyland-Yutani

Se encuentran George Bush, Tony Blair y José Mari Aznar, en el infierno. Bush quer�*a saber como estaba el pais después de su partida y pidió permiso para usar el teléfono rojo que el Diablo ten�*a instalado y llamar a los EEUU. Éste le concedió la autorización y después de hablar durante 2 minutos. El diablo le dijo que el coste de la llamada eran 3 mil dolares, por lo que Bush hizo un cheque. Al enterarse, Tony Blair quiso hacer lo mismo y llamó a Inglaterra. Por 5 minutos de conversación el diablo le paso una cuenta de 2 mil libras José Mari también sintió deseos de llamar a España, para ver como estaban las cosas y habló durante 3 horas."Que le debo?" preguntó al terminar, "35 céntimos de euro" dijo el diablo. Aznar se quedó atónito, pués sab�*a el coste de las otras llamadas y le preguntó al Diablo por qué a el le era tan barato llamar a España... A lo que el diablo le respondió: "Mire usted ... Con la reforma del desempleo, el plan hidrológico, la lista de espera sanitaria, las pensiones, los impuestos indirectos, la subida del euro, la nueva regla para calcular la inflación, la inseguridad ciudadana, la ley de calidad de la enseñanza, las subvenciones a los colegios privados, las privatizaciones y la catástrofe del Prestige, España es un infierno y por tanto, es una llamada local.

It's a great thing I did Spanish at school for if I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to read this joke and life would not be same. In a way, my life would not be worth living, for this joke gave me reason to live.

[Eynstyn]

Originally Posted by budster101

Eynstyn: Again, this is a HILLARY CLINTON JOKE Thread... can you read?

I take it your comment is tongue-in-cheek. As I started the thread I feel I can make a slight exception.
Not only that, there are some azzoles who make a point of derailing threads. Not saying that is you my good budster! But, either way, Bill or Hillary or Chelsea, it's all in the family. Right?

[Eynstyn]

Hillary Clinton vs. God

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.

"Al, what do you believe in?"

Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."

God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"

Bill replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."

God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."

God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"

"I believe you're in my chair."

[Eynstyn]

Clinton Throws The First Pitch

Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and says something. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the wall onto the field. The stunned umpired shouts, "No, Mr. President! I said, 'Throw the first PITCH!'"

[Eynstyn]

A Letter to John Hinckley

Mr. John Hinckley
St. Elizabeth's Hospital
Washington D.C.

Dear John,

Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land.

Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best wishes,
Bill Clinton

P.S. Guess you heard Ken Starr is having an affair with Jodie Foster.

[dcmacdaddy]

Originally Posted by Eynstyn

Clinton Throws The First Pitch

Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and says something. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the wall onto the field. The stunned umpired shouts, "No, Mr. President! I said, 'Throw the first PITCH!'"

Excellent!

[Eynstyn]

Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy

Excellent!

Hey, am I the only one contributin here?

[finboy]

How many Hillary Clinton's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.