|
|
The Day of Judgement has arrived
|
|
|
|
Baninated
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Moon
Status:
Offline
|
|
Major disasters everywhere:flood, fire, disease. St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very
basic questions. Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too
tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name,
occupation, and number of children, where applicable.
After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that
important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what
did you do for a living, how did you gain your livlihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well" he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact,
looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a
carpenter"
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next
step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to
remember. After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child
and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child
was a boy. And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because
he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the
ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt
of lightning. With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Semi Posting Retirement *ReJoice!*
Status:
Offline
|
|
.....
kidding
|
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Yamanashi, Japan
Status:
Offline
|
|
That is funny. Way to go.
In before someone takes uber offense to it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baninated
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Moon
Status:
Offline
|
|
Why would anyone take offense to it?
Esp in MacNN?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Madison, WI
Status:
Offline
|
|
Way to go, Zimphy.
|
One should never stop striving for clarity of thought and precision of expression.
I would prefer my humanity sullied with the tarnish of science rather than the gloss of religion.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: planning a comeback !
Status:
Offline
|
|
I'm offended. May the wrath of conservative rightwing fundamentalists hit you.
-t
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baninated
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Moon
Status:
Offline
|
|
I actually saw that joke in a Church's bulletin board about 10 years ago. With illustration.
Funniest religion joke I have ever heard.
I think even somewhere out there, Jesus had a chuckle over it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baninated
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Illinois might be cold and flat, but at least it's ugly.
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Winnipeg
Status:
Offline
|
|
Kinda leaves out the omniscient nature of Jesus though... and the fact that Peter is probably doing something more important than taking names...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baninated
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Illinois might be cold and flat, but at least it's ugly.
Status:
Offline
|
|
He [Jesus] was filling in while Peter was on break.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Off the Tobakoff
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally Posted by Superchicken
Kinda leaves out the omniscient nature of Jesus though... and the fact that Peter is probably doing something more important than taking names...
Lighten up.
|
"You rise," he said, "like Aurora."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Rules
|
|
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|