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sugar_coated · 09:14 PM

nredman · Mar 25, 2005, 09:24 PM

depends if the lion likes gays or not

Detrius · Mar 26, 2005, 02:26 AM

There is a reason humans dominate this planet. The lion is physically stronger, but we are much smarter. A human would plan ahead and take a shotgun to the duel, while the lion would not contemplate doing such a thing.

Can you tell I'm a big proponent of evolutionary theory?

Disgruntled Head of C-3PO · Mar 26, 2005, 02:40 AM

I can't tell if that is gay bashing or not

olePigeon · Mar 26, 2005, 04:02 PM

Originally posted by Detrius:
There is a reason humans dominate this planet. The lion is physically stronger, but we are much smarter. A human would plan ahead and take a shotgun to the duel, while the lion would not contemplate doing such a thing.

Can you tell I'm a big proponent of evolutionary theory?

What good is a shotgun without ammo? Lion 1 You 0

olePigeon · Mar 26, 2005, 04:09 PM

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/lionhunt.wmv

And just incase you think a shotgun will stop a lion. (WARNING: Graphic. Lion's shot 3 times by a very high-powered rifle, but it doesn't stop him, charges and misses the guy's head by millimeters. Sigh, I was rooting for the lion.)

faragbre967 · Mar 26, 2005, 04:17 PM

Originally posted by olePigeon:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/lionhunt.wmv

And just incase you think a shotgun will stop a lion. (WARNING: Graphic. Lion's shot 3 times by a very high-powered rifle, but it doesn't stop him, charges and misses the guy's head by millimeters. Sigh, I was rooting for the lion.)

I think they only hit him once. Either way though, humans can't take shots like that. BTW, people that hunt animals like that suck.

Detrius · Mar 26, 2005, 06:42 PM

Originally posted by olePigeon:
What good is a shotgun without ammo? Lion 1 You 0

You still proved my point. As you are a human and not a lion, you thought of the additional detail that you need ammunition.

And if you think that a shotgun isn't enough, then just get a rocket launcher. These are all human creations.

cadena10 · Jan 4, 2008, 03:35 AM

alright, you with a baseball bat and a lion... who would win?

IceEnclosure · Jan 4, 2008, 03:52 AM

even if Barry Bonds swung a baseball bat at a lion's paw as it's claws were nearing his face.. I don't think it'd stop a lion. Maybe a direct hit to the noggen of a sleeping lion would do the trick.

subego · Jan 4, 2008, 03:59 AM

Zombie lion for teh win.

analogika · Jan 4, 2008, 04:12 AM

Originally Posted by cadena10

alright, you with a baseball bat and a lion... who would win?

The guy with the baseball bat and the lion.

You lose.

subego · Jan 4, 2008, 04:16 AM

Originally Posted by IceEnclosure

even if Barry Bonds swung a baseball bat at a lion's paw as it's claws were nearing his face.. I don't think it'd stop a lion. Maybe a direct hit to the noggen of a sleeping lion would do the trick.

You step to the side and swing at the back of the head.

Barry Bonds couldn't do it, but Chuck Norris could.

With a toothpick.

Shaddim · Jan 4, 2008, 05:49 AM

Actually, you mentally draw an "X" between the lion's eyes and ears, then aim 1/2" above the center of the "X".

Dead lion.

With practice you can visualize it almost instantly.

Don't ask...

Dakar the Fourth · Jan 4, 2008, 09:50 AM

"Arise from your grave..."

osiris · Jan 4, 2008, 10:35 AM

When I have lion problems, I just call an exterminator.

Dakar the Fourth · Jan 4, 2008, 10:38 AM

The S.F. Police?

osiris · Jan 4, 2008, 10:54 AM

close, but it's in Los Angeles - LA Lion Removal and Extermination, LLC.

lpkmckenna · Jan 4, 2008, 11:44 AM

The Romans conducted this experiment extensively, but the sampling was distorted. Christians are wimps.

xi_hyperon · Jan 4, 2008, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by Shaddim

Actually, you mentally draw an "X" between the lion's eyes and ears, then aim 1/2" above the center of the "X".

Dead lion.

You'd have to be quick. Very quick. A lion is not going to stand still while you mentally render an X on his head. At any rate, if a person finds himself to be in such a situation, it's probably out of one's own stupidity (in which case, I'm going to have to root for the lion).

Shaddim · Jan 4, 2008, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by lpkmckenna

The Romans conducted this experiment extensively, but the sampling was distorted. Christians are wimps.

They weren't wimps, they just didn't have baseball bats.

::maroma:: · Jan 4, 2008, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by Shaddim

They weren't wimps, they just didn't have baseball bats.

Christians with baseball bats? <shudder>

Shaddim · Jan 4, 2008, 03:28 PM

Originally Posted by ::maroma::

Christians with baseball bats? <shudder>

If that scares you, never join a summer softball league.

Dakar the Fourth · Jan 4, 2008, 03:30 PM

I'm afraid of Muslims with Hockey Sticks.

Kvasir · Jan 4, 2008, 03:53 PM

Now, if it was a liger instead, then it would be interesting...

meet Hercules the liger - in pic, ~3 years old and about 1400lbs, and still growing.

Shaddim · Jan 4, 2008, 04:41 PM

Ligers tend towards gigantism, which is a little sad. Often when they reach a certain age they have trouble moving around.

Jawbone54 · Jan 4, 2008, 04:46 PM

Wow.

Just because...

osiris · Jan 4, 2008, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Shaddim

Ligers tend towards gigantism, which is a little sad. Often when they reach a certain age they have trouble moving around.

Then they make for good eating.

cadena10 · Jan 10, 2008, 01:38 AM

ok for all you skeptics... its not as if my feet are taped to the ground and i am unable to dodge out of the way as the lion pursues me full speed or not. I am going to dodge out of the way just as the lion jumps at me and hit him and as big of a target as a lion is I will not miss. leg, head whichever, I will hurt the lion, that lion will not be full speed. in the event of a hurt lion, I will than continue to bash the lion every time it may or may not pursue me. Ok... that is not to say a lion will lose every time, man just has the greater odds.

Shaddim · Jan 10, 2008, 05:53 AM

Some men (or women) would have greater odds, but I'd venture to guess it's less than 1 in 500. Probably much less.

Cadaver · Jan 10, 2008, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by cadena10

ok for all you skeptics... its not as if my feet are taped to the ground and i am unable to dodge out of the way as the lion pursues me full speed or not. I am going to dodge out of the way just as the lion jumps at me and hit him and as big of a target as a lion is I will not miss. leg, head whichever, I will hurt the lion, that lion will not be full speed. in the event of a hurt lion, I will than continue to bash the lion every time it may or may not pursue me. Ok... that is not to say a lion will lose every time, man just has the greater odds.

But the lion only has to hit you once.

ShortcutToMoncton · Jan 11, 2008, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by cadena10

ok for all you skeptics... its not as if my feet are taped to the ground and i am unable to dodge out of the way as the lion pursues me full speed or not. I am going to dodge out of the way just as the lion jumps at me

You obviously have no conception of the following things:
1. How poor a civilized human being's reflexes actually are
2. How slow a human being actually is
3. How weak a human being actually is

There is no way in hell you'd be able to "dodge away" from a lion. Your only hope would be the same as people who encounter big cats or bears in the wild: to scream and kick and maybe ineffectually hit it once or twice, and hope the animal isn't angry enough that it just shrugs and goes elsewhere to look for an easier meal.

If it's pissed off and determined to kill you, I give you...15 seconds of life.

greg

scottiB · Jan 11, 2008, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by Kvasir

Now, if it was a liger instead, then it would be interesting...

meet Hercules the liger - in pic, ~3 years old and about 1400lbs, and still growing.

My God, that's a big cat.

Andrew Stephens · Jan 11, 2008, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton

You obviously have no conception of the following things:
1. How poor a civilized human being's reflexes actually are
2. How slow a human being actually is
3. How weak a human being actually is

There is no way in hell you'd be able to "dodge away" from a lion. Your only hope would be the same as people who encounter big cats or bears in the wild: to scream and kick and maybe ineffectually hit it once or twice, and hope the animal isn't angry enough that it just shrugs and goes elsewhere to look for an easier meal.

If it's pissed off and determined to kill you, I give you...15 seconds of life.

greg

True. All that thinking slows you down, plus the fear and the lack of muscle. Mr Lion operating on instict has all the advantages.

Lion 1 : Puny human 0

Shaddim · Jan 11, 2008, 05:32 PM

I know a few highly trained people who, if properly equipped (sans firearms), could probably kill a pissed-off, fully-grown lion. However, we're talking body armor, spears, a sword (or axe), and a weighted net wouldn't hurt.

The average joe, >99.9% of people, would almost certainly be lion chow.

cadena10 · Jan 11, 2008, 09:30 PM

right, a lion is faster and stronger, but its as if im having a race against the lion of lifting competition. Its facing me head on. I would be able to dodge out of the way. you people exagerate the dexterity of a lion. just watch the video
YouTube - Lion Attacks Man

oh ****, he dodged a lion, Thats NEVER supposed to happen.

cadena10 · Jan 11, 2008, 09:31 PM

its "NOT" as if

Shaddim · Jan 11, 2008, 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by cadena10

right, a lion is faster and stronger, but its as if im having a race against the lion of lifting competition. Its facing me head on. I would be able to dodge out of the way. you people exagerate the dexterity of a lion. just watch the video
YouTube - Lion Attacks Man

oh ****, he dodged a lion, Thats NEVER supposed to happen.

The lion barely brushed him and still knocked him flat. It was probably distracted by the bullets whizzing by it's head. Ya think?

Let's watch more of the video: YouTube - LION ATTACKS HUNTER

Plus, there are 4 hunters shooting at it. Take those rifles away and give them machetes, then we'll see how well they do. Personally, I wish the lion had killed them all.

Shaddim · Jan 11, 2008, 09:51 PM

Best lion video ever. Awwwwww.

ShortcutToMoncton · Jan 12, 2008, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by cadena10

oh ****, he dodged a lion, Thats NEVER supposed to happen.

The lion gets hit just before he made his leap. Watch the video; he takes at least one point-blank rifle shot and his haunches slide out right when he should be jumping. And yet he still manages to swipe at the guy, tumble, and then get to his feet and run away.

You claim you can "dodge around" one of the greatest terrestrial predators in the world, and then post a video of a shot lion desperately charging at 4 guys sniping at him with rifles? You amateur. You clearly have no idea how fast wild animals really are.

greg

smacintush · Jan 12, 2008, 01:40 PM

Hey cadena10, is that number your age?

Your fantasy about how you would deal with a lion attack sure sounds pretty childish.

you people exagerate the dexterity of a lion

Lemme quote my ol' buddy Greg here…in case you missed it:

You obviously have no conception of the following things:
1. How poor a civilized human being's reflexes actually are
2. How slow a human being actually is
3. How weak a human being actually is

There is no way in hell you'd be able to "dodge away" from a lion. Your only hope would be the same as people who encounter big cats or bears in the wild: to scream and kick and maybe ineffectually hit it once or twice, and hope the animal isn't angry enough that it just shrugs and goes elsewhere to look for an easier meal.

That pretty much sums it up.

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMontcon

…one of the greatest terrestrial predators in the world

That is, however, a great exaggeration.

ShortcutToMoncton · Jan 12, 2008, 02:40 PM

Heh heh heh...really? Counting tigers and lions in the same "big-cat" category, I can't think of too many other predatory species who would be superior. Some species of bears for sure; probably some of the big snakes...actually that's all I can come up with off the top of my head. Most predatory species generally seem to come from the dog/cat/bear families.

Why would you not say that lions are not one of the most fearsome predator species?

greg

subego · Jan 12, 2008, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton

Why would you not say that lions are not one of the most fearsome predator species?

I'm guessing because the actual most fearsome predator species live in water.

Shaddim · Jan 12, 2008, 06:38 PM

I would think the term "terrestrial", in this instance, means land-based critters.

subego · Jan 12, 2008, 06:50 PM

D'oh!

smacintush · 04:52 AM

nm.

brassplayersrock² · Jan 13, 2008, 03:43 AM

you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about do you smacintush?

smacintush · 04:54 AM

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock²

you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about do you smacintush?

You're right.

I just never liked lions.

ShortcutToMoncton · Jan 13, 2008, 12:01 PM

...racist?

sek929 · Jan 13, 2008, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by cadena10

ok for all you skeptics... its not as if my feet are taped to the ground and i am unable to dodge out of the way as the lion pursues me full speed or not. I am going to dodge out of the way just as the lion jumps at me and hit him and as big of a target as a lion is I will not miss. leg, head whichever, I will hurt the lion, that lion will not be full speed. in the event of a hurt lion, I will than continue to bash the lion every time it may or may not pursue me. Ok... that is not to say a lion will lose every time, man just has the greater odds.

Best. Post. Ever.

I bet a pissed off housecat would own you in a fight